electroglyph opened this issue on Aug 28, 2012 · 13 posts
electroglyph posted Tue, 28 August 2012 at 7:29 AM
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag.
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities..
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
20 kgs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in Grade 9. Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18..
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine?'
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What's the difference between an Australian zoo and an English zoo?
An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F..... Word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!
What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time..'
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shiit...'
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
rstar posted Tue, 28 August 2012 at 8:55 AM
LOL. this is good stuff. Thanks for posting.
TheBryster posted Tue, 28 August 2012 at 9:29 AM Forum Moderator
LMAO!!!!
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
peedy posted Tue, 28 August 2012 at 9:53 AM
LOLOLOLOL!!!
Love them! :-D
Corrie
bobbystahr posted Tue, 28 August 2012 at 9:54 AM
Once
in a while I look around,
I see
a sound
and
try to write it down
Sometimes
they come out very soft
Tinkling light sound
The Sun comes up again
Hubert posted Tue, 28 August 2012 at 11:23 AM
:))
"All that we see or fear, is but a Sphere inside a Sphere." (E. A. Pryce -- Tuesday afternoon, 1845)
Ravyns posted Tue, 28 August 2012 at 12:02 PM
LOL.. I especially like the lawyer one..
**************************************************************************************
Life may not be the party we hoped for but while we're here we should dance.
tjohn posted Tue, 28 August 2012 at 12:06 PM
I'm so disappointed in you, electro... I laughed at all of these, but not once was I offended.
This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy
Quest posted Tue, 28 August 2012 at 3:04 PM
Hehehe...there are some beauties in there...loved them all, thanks!
KristiS posted Tue, 28 August 2012 at 3:58 PM
LMAO!!!! They all were great!
Kristi
Community Relations Specialist
This is your life - your platform - your stage - your story
kiwi_gg posted Fri, 31 August 2012 at 3:06 PM
Just what I needed with my morning coffee, a good laugh sets you up for the day. Thanks.
Cheers
GG
WHO said Kiwi's can't Fly ?????
Yuroven posted Mon, 03 September 2012 at 7:14 PM
only joke for lawyers - don't give lawyer Viagra, lawyers get taller...telling right?
tjohn posted Tue, 04 September 2012 at 5:44 AM
Well if we're moving on to lawyer jokes, here's an oldie but goodie:
What do you call 10 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy