I got this in my mail today :

         Mathematics:
        This comes from 2 maths teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. Experience.
        It has an indisputable mathematical logic.
        It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
        This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint..
        it goes like this:

        What Makes 100%?

        What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

        Ever wonder about those people who say they
        are giving more than 100%?  We have all been
        to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

        How about achieving 103%?

        What makes up 100% in life?

        Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

        If:
        A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

        Is represented as:
        1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19
        20 21 22 23 24 25 26

        Then:

        H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
        8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

        And

        K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
        11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =96%

        But,

        A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
        1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

        And,

        B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
        2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

        AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

        A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
        1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 =118%

        So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
        Now you know why some people are where they are!

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All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster

And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...