My work is mostly done in Curvy 3D and Raysupreme

Can't wrap my head around Blender's hair tool (I make a big mess)

Have been using ModTools but looking for something else.....

The application known as "Make Human" has a module with which hair can be customized and generated.  I've never personally used it, but looks simple enough.

http://www.makehuman.org/doc/node/hair.html

Aside from that, there's no standalone hair software I am aware of.  There are plugins for certain applications, such as HairFarm, which are used in Maya or 3dsmax in studio pipelines, but these are not free solutions, and can be quite complex for individual hobbyist or freelance users.

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Blender's hair is about the best out there for free.