Tear it up as much as you like. This is the beginning of this chapter

A Storm is Coming!! I was all fidgety, I couldn’t hold still to save my life. I went to talk with Pop. I went out to his workshop, which he always kept locked, even when he was working in it. Knocked on the door and there was no answer. I headed to his office, using the side door to our house. I knew he would be there or in the kitchen helping Mom. I once asked why he kept it locked. He said to keep me safe. “From what exactly?? Mom’s pet dragon, which I never get to see??” Pop just smiled and ruffled my hair. My Pop was the best father in the world; he was almost 6 feet tall and very strong, without showing it. I have been told several times that I could be his twin. To this, that day makes me very proud. I found him in his favorite chair, behind his desk, deep in thought with a frown on his face. When he had that look, I knew better than to ask any questions. As I turned around to leave, he said, “There is a storm coming!” I found Mom in the kitchen standing on her cooking stool, Pop had made just for her. She was wearing her hand made jeans, and a handmade buttercup yellow pull over blouse. I think she was making some kind of pasta dish. was making some kind of pasta dish. “Hi Mom, what c’ya doin??” She looked at me, with her serious voice, “Is that the proper way to talk to me??” “No Mam”, I was looking at the table in embarrassment. “Now look up at me and ask correctly.” I looked up and in to her big hazel eyes, “Hi Mom, what are you doing??” Mom could have passed for Tinkerbell in that she was barely five feet tall. She had waist length, beautiful wavy honey red hair that had a glow all of its own. She got a big smile that filled the room with love, got down from the cooking stool, came around to my end of the table and gave me a big hug. Sometimes it’s good to make a mistake; I’ll have to remember that.

Is there a way to preserve formatting?? I copied my word doc straight into here.

To hold the formatting, you have to double space between paragraphs. (it's a Rendo thing, but one battle at a time, we are getting the 50k character count; rejoice and be glad, it's a huge victory for the written arts) You have an excellent concept idea and well imagined way to execute the story. I would recommend you tighten the grammar up. I suggest, at the least, using Word's grammar checker. But, Word's grammar checker does not pick up all the errors. You may want to look into other grammar correcting software. Or, get Chicago Manual of Style, 16th edition. You can probably find a 15th edition for a fraction of the cost, and not have a problem. I went ahead and placed some edit notes in parenthesis; just so you can see where you are and the direction to begin. Do not give up. Writing is like any of the other arts. It must be practiced every day to master the canvas; just as becoming a master painter takes years. Get to the bookstore, or library, and start reading every style and grammar book you can find. You can also go to a used bookstore and buy a copy of one of your favorite writers. Then, get a highlighter out and mark it up. Note how the author uses punctuation, and story structure. Study every line. I am particularly fond of David Eddings style. And. Keep writing. Write. Write. Write. and Read. Read. Read.

A Storm is Coming!! (improper exclamation marks) I was all fidgety, (improper comma splice) I couldn’t hold still to save my life.(cliché) I went to talk with Pop. I (redundant word; I) went out to his workshop, which he always kept locked, even when he was working in (working on) it. Knocked on the door and there was no answer. (fragment sentence) I headed to his office, using the side door to our house. I knew he would be there or in the kitchen helping Mom. I once asked why he kept it locked. He said to keep me safe. “From what exactly?? (improper question marks) Mom’s pet dragon, which I never get to see??” Pop just smiled and ruffled my hair. My Pop was the best father in the world; he was almost 6 feet tall and very strong, without showing it. I have been told (passive voice) several times that I could be his twin. To this, that day makes me very proud. I found him in his favorite chair, behind his desk, deep in thought with a frown on his face. When he had that look, I knew better than to ask any questions. As I turned around to leave, he said, “There is a storm coming!” I found Mom in the kitchen standing on her cooking stool, (improper comma splice) Pop had made just for her. She was wearing her hand made (handmade) jeans, and a handmade buttercup yellow pull over (pullover) blouse. I think she was making some kind of pasta dish. was (capitilzation) making some kind of (delete kind of) pasta dish. “Hi Mom, what c’ya doin??” She looked at me, with her serious voice, “Is that the proper way to talk to me??” “No Mam”, I was looking at the table in embarrassment. “Now look up at me and ask correctly.” I looked up and in to (into) her big hazel eyes, “Hi Mom, what are you doing??” Mom could have passed for Tinkerbell in that she was barely five feet tall. She had waist length, beautiful wavy honey red hair that had a glow all of its own. She got a big smile that filled the room with love, got down from the cooking stool, came around to my end of the table and gave me a big hug. Sometimes it’s good to make a mistake; I’ll have to remember that.

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Wolfenshire, Moderator/Community Leader

Thank you VERY much for the encouragement and corrections. I will do the above and keep posting.