Evil does exist. I had always thought that evil was just something people did, a humankind invention, but not truly one that exists in the natural world. Oh, my naïve sense of self is shattered. I have discovered true evil. I will start the story at the beginning. I awoke early, as my better half wanted to go to the farmers market that morning. I drank my coffee, ate my pop tart, and prepared the car. We arrived well before the crowds and I was happy for that. My other half went off in search of some mysterious feminine item that smells much like a combination of rotted tomatoes and regurgitated pancakes. I wandered about, looking for nothing in particular. I found pastries, and oh what a delight. But then, I found the watermelons. I love watermelons. Glorious wonderful watermelons. A whole pile of perfect looking watermelons. I went on to start my ritual of tapping, listening, tapping some more; searching for the perfect one. And so I thought I had.

We arrived back home, and I could not wait. I set out the cutting board, got my knife, and sliced into the watermelon; my mouth watering at the thought of the treat inside. And this is where my world was shattered. Inside was not the beautiful pinkish red meat of a delectable watermelon, but instead a yellow mass of something that could only, should only, be found in an Alien movie. What in the name of Joan of Arc was my watermelon doing being yellow. What horror! What evil was this thing? What mad scientist had conspired to turn my watermelon yellow?

Abomination I tell you. I immediately donned protective clothing, gloves, mask, and grabbed some tongs. But first, I did show my dogs a piece of the yellow watermelon. Now, my dogs love a good wholesome red watermelon as much as I do, but my dogs recoiled in horror at the sight of the yellow evil I was presenting to them. Keep in mind that dogs are colorblind, but their fine canine instincts knew true evil when it reared its ugly head. I placed the foul yellow watermelon in a triple lined trash bag and took it outside, but I did not put it in my trashcan. Oh no, I wouldn’t want anyone to go through my trash and discover I had been in possession of some evil demon raised horror. No. I placed the contents of terror into my neighbor’s trashcan.

And the lady that sold it to me seemed so nice. Goes to show, you never really know a person. A very sad day for me indeed.

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Wolfenshire, Moderator/Community Leader