daughter is on left. I added Mommy to scene to see how they work together. Whoa! Daughter much too tall next to mom and when i transfer mom to right both her hair pathes stayed behind. how do i best fix this and mebbe be sure it doesn't happen again with other members of my case?

If the hairpieces are conforming items, they must be conformed to the intended model.  If they are props, then they must be parented to the intended models.  We need more information about the content you are attempting to use so we may give accurate advice on how to proceed.  What type of hair are you using and to what model it belongs?  

Judging from the image, you may have parented a hairpiece to the forearm.  Also, you have too many lights in your scene, that will slow down your software.

The different models have different heights so you'll need to resize them. It looks like you're using La Femme and one of Alyson's variants (I'm guessing Maria). Alyson was on the shorter side while Lafemme is rather tall.

While my first guess would be the same as hborre's, that the hair is parented to the daughter's arm, I see that the pubic hair cap is also in the wrong place. So the question comes, are the parented wrong, or did you do something unusual in moving the mom? Did you move her with the body, or with the hip?

And as hborre said, so many lights can slow down the screen response which I have had cause me to drag and drop things unintentionally in the hierarchy pallet, if you have that open. If you need them all for a render, you can turn several of them off for the preview. Select a light and then on the properties tab of the parameters' pallet, uncheck "include in open GL preview."

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Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader Monster of the North and The Shimmering Mage

Today I break my own personal record for the number of days for being alive.
Check out my store here or my free stuff here
I use Poser 13 and win 10

I think i have the different figures sized and haired now, but the lithting ain't right. this first screenshot is Prdview mode followed by supterfly render.

is there a quick fix or do i have to go study lighting?

drawn

You have too many lights. You only need one or 2 usually. Or reduce the intensity a bunch. If you need more lighting for working but don't want them to render, you can set up some extra lights with this material setup

And don't forget the nudity tag when you post nudes.

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Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader Monster of the North and The Shimmering Mage

Today I break my own personal record for the number of days for being alive.
Check out my store here or my free stuff here
I use Poser 13 and win 10

sorry, for nudity. I intended to slap a dress on her but didn't before i posted

i been playing around with lites and results don't encourage, there's no way to predict a render from a preview that looks good.

witness. this is a preview of shot, no nudity.

and here's the superfly render of sunlight on scene

i'm almost ready to sign up for a university course...

drawn

As RedPhantom and I mentioned, you have way too many lights in your scene.  I counted 10 lights on your Light Controls.  There is a Python Script where you can delete all your lights at once.  Delete the lights and start introducing them one at a time.  Take a moment to play with just one light and change its characteristics.  Cycle from Infinite light through Area light and see how each one illuminates your scene.  Don't rush this process.  You are trying to create a project without understanding what you are doing and that is going to lead to frustration, especially when you haven't developed the skills yet to change figures/props.

Thanks, hborre, for the advice. You’re right and that’s a course I’ll follow. Thank goodness for a python script that can scrub lights off! I was wishing for something to do that as the lights piled up. 

And check the spots' and points' light attenuation parameter.
For a reason I still don't get, those default to "Constant" whereas "Inverse Square" is more real-like.

𝒫𝒽𝓎𝓁

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You don't need a lot of lights using superfly. This one has 2 point lights, one set at 20% and the other at 25% intensity. The outside image is also set to give off light, but I don't think it helped the room much.

This one has 6 point lights all set and 15%. I've done images with more lights, but they were set real low, around 2%. Adding more lights can slow rendering times. I only did that because there were a bunch of candles in the scene.

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Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader Monster of the North and The Shimmering Mage

Today I break my own personal record for the number of days for being alive.
Check out my store here or my free stuff here
I use Poser 13 and win 10

Dear Red, do you want to consider partnering with me on this graphic novel? split all income. You seem to be so helpful and knowledgable...we'd have to work details out if you say aye, matey! Please consider and let me know. I feel sure now that in my present state of making mistakes I'll never get the first page done!

drawn

hey red, here is a sample of things i bump into.seemingly forever! im trying to tillt ben's nose and cant align magnet stuff correctly can you help?

drawn

Thanks for the offer, but I'm working on my own novel.

To get the magnet to affect Ben's nose, you need to move the magnet zone, not the magnet base. If you haven't rescaled him, set the trans y of the zone to 0.515 poser native units (your units is something you can change in the general preferences. PNU is the default. If you've changed them to something metric or imperial, that number will be different.)

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Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader Monster of the North and The Shimmering Mage

Today I break my own personal record for the number of days for being alive.
Check out my store here or my free stuff here
I use Poser 13 and win 10

Red, that’s great you’re working on a novel cause you’re a good writer. I appreciate all the help you’ve offered and will do my best to follow this. 

Drawn

Dear friends, lend me your eyes, I have bit of a confess..got embroiled in daz3d and need to know whether keep it or leave it. I was pursuing the elusive Victoria 4 character for poser. Someone told me it Dax product so I went there, first time, got confused,saw a bundle tha has the Vicky base finger so I said yes…and before I knew it had purchased the entire program DAZ!

well it installed on my MacBook and then I realized it separate from poser, none of Vicky do I find in poser, all in daz. Do I work with daz to get characters I want/need…and can I transfer them to my scenes in poser, with poser characters too?

real advice needed, not cruel laughter please!!

drawn

DAZ Studio is a separate free program that is similar to Poser but does things differently.  It is a matter of how comfortable you feel working with DS and whether it is beneficial to use both DS and Poser or just use one program.  Of course, both programs have strengths and weaknesses.  

To address your situation, I would recommend downloading the DAZ Install Manager (DIM) which is also free from DAZ3D.  Although this program has a bit of a learning curve, it is your best option to install DAZ products into both DAZ Studio and Poser without attempting a manual install from their compressed files.  The Victoria 4 base package that you purchased contains both DAZ and Poser installations, you need to identify which files are designated for which program.  That is why I suggest DIM for installation unless you are very confident with working with zipped files.

What is the product that you purchased?  And BTW, V4 base is sometimes offered as a weekly freebie, you would have to be patient but it does appear every once in a great while.