shadownet opened this issue on Jul 19, 2001 ยท 9 posts
shadownet posted Thu, 19 July 2001 at 11:40 AM
atthisstage posted Thu, 19 July 2001 at 1:50 PM
The water texture is a little too much. It's distracting from everything else; I'd really recommend toning it down.
TygerCub posted Thu, 19 July 2001 at 5:19 PM
First the congratulations: Great concept... good composition... LOVE the flames! Now for the critique: As atthisstage said, the water needs to be toned down. Scaled down may be better directions, though, because the waves are a little too large and regular for the amount of surface area you are portraying. Do you have a pond, bay or lake near you that you can look at for reference? If not, see if you can find photos of lakes from the net. The next thing I would do is add a little dynamic action to the background people. For a town in a panic because it's being burned around them, everyone's standing pretty upright. When confronted by fire or a threat from above, most people crouch or stoop, shielding their head, face, and tend to hold our arms upward to deflect blows. Although you've done an excellent job remembering to put a townfull of people in the background, please give them more life. Were you going for a monochromatic picture? If so, this is good. If not, try adding a greyish-blue to the sky, with it slightly lighter towards the horizon than at the heavens. This will tie in with the blue of the water and the gray of the chainmail. And finally (sorry... almost done), let's talk about lighting. You've a great composition that draws the eye into the scene, down the flame, up the arm and up into the archer's face. But from there it gets kinda fuzzy and lost from lack of contrast. I realize this is a dawn/dusk scene (can't remember from the book - been too many years since I last read it), but your shadows should be more harsh on the archer. Although the sky is still just barely light, it wouldn't give enough light to show as much detail as you have in this picture. If you change the lighting, the dynamics of the picture will leap into focus. 1) The background mountain should not have details. By this time of day, it should be a dark shape against the sky. 2) When you tone down your waves, give some perspective to how far away the mountain is and how close to the city the dragon has flown by limiting the flame's reflection to just under him, flowing towards the town. In other words, although the flames are bright, they wouldn't light up the entire lake, would they? 3) And finally keep in mind the main source of strong light in this picture is the dragon's flames and the flames of the town. That being said, the underside of the cape, and most of the man's body facing the viewer should be in sharp shadow, with Smaug's flames the main source of light. Geesh... this sounds like a lot! But really it isn't. You've done great so far, and with a little tweaking of the townspeople (crack that whip!), and some re-directed lighting, you'll really put the magic in this lively composition! p.s. - sorry if this posts twice, but it didn't appear the first time.
hauksdottir posted Thu, 19 July 2001 at 10:29 PM
You've been busy! All those people!! I'm going to agree and disagree with some of the above comments - take it for what it is worth. 1) water texture should be scaled down or be made less regular... especially if people are jumpin into the water. It would be slightly choppy if an evening wind came up as usual on many lakes, anyway. Oil would flatten the waves, but I don't recall burning oil in the story. The boat would leave a wake, as would any swimmers. 2) Lighting. On this monitor (PC with earthlink browser) the lighting looks right (moody) with the dial in mid-position. I have to turn it way up to see all the details. Before adjusting the overall image, you may wish to look at it on 2-3 different monitors. I can check it on the Mac with netscape if you wish. 3) The coloring is effective now. I like the purples and rusts: they add heat to the scene. 4) I don't like Smaug's waistcoat. I recognize it because I know what it is, but that is weak. Perhaps if it was less solid, and more sparkly? It doesn't have to be distinct, just "there". 5) The Mountain is going to give problems no matter whether you go lighter or darker or leave it as it is. Smaug pretty well burned it, and there might still be flaming trees when he left for Laketown? Perhaps a bit of streaming would delineate the shape, and you could use less fire? 6) The guards can still be upright... in contrast to the panicking townsfolk in the middle ground. At least a few more of them can be ducking and cringing. This will also make Bard's perseverance the more remarkable. 7) The thrush is better proportioned now. The image is very dramatic (I really like the composition), and you can leave it as it is. However, if you want to improve it a bit more, I'd break up the water as first priority and tweak the waistcoat as the second. Anything else is fiddly bits. Well done! Carolly
shadownet posted Fri, 20 July 2001 at 12:33 PM
Thanks for the feedback!!! This is what I needed. Something(s) about the pic has/have been bugging me and I just can not put my finger on it. For one, I think the water does need some tweaking so I will do some more work on it. I am not happy with Smaug - and the look of the jeweled underbelly - but was not sure what to do so will need to experiment some more there. I think I like the Smaug I had in an ealier version better in which he seemed to melt more into the background and was less defined. I think a bit of sprinkling of sparkles across his belly will suffice and I will try that also. Making the townsfolk more panicky sould not be a problem, so I will give that a try as well. Now that I look at it again - less blurry eyed than before - the folks do seem to be taking the burning of their town quiet well. Remarkably well. Maybe a bit more of "run for your life" is needed. :o) I think I like the overall coloring scheme so I will probably leave that alone - if I were going for more realistic look than I would try the grayish-blue sky out as that sounds really interesting. Might tweak the lighting on Bard just a bit though, maybe backlight him or something since the the main source of light is - as pointed out - so I should have light hitting him from that direction a bit more pronounced. Harsher shadows might also work. Carolly, I tried lighting up Bard's face with Smaug's flames as you suggested in an earlier post but just could not get the overall scene to look right doing it that way. If you still think it would help, give me some ideas as to how you would do it and I will try again. As for why the mountain and water look ablaze - there is a line from the book about the river running with gold at the mountain kings return, and when the townfolks saw the approach of Smaug, burning everything along the way as he came, many thought this to have come true (which in a way it had - as prophecy tends to work that way). Anyhow, that was what I was shooting for. I have to agree it did not work out like I had hoped and some changes are needed to get the mountain and water back in perspective. But if you guys have any ideas on how I might convey that aspect and yet tone the water and mountain down a bit, please let me know. Thanks again for all the help. Now back to work I go... :o) Rob
TygerCub posted Fri, 20 July 2001 at 4:42 PM
Do you have any pictures of forest fires at night??? It may sound odd, but they are the scariest, most beautiful things you'll ever see. If you can find one on the net, or in a book, take a close look and I bet that will help you with the mountain/lake problem. Good luck...
TygerCub posted Fri, 20 July 2001 at 4:49 PM
Did a quick look through Altavista.com's image search, and here are some pages you may want to check out: http://corbis.altavista.com/referrals/av_image_details.asp?linkid=2623&imageid=11539046 http://corbis.altavista.com/referrals/av_image_details.asp?linkid=2623&imageid=10791110 http://www.viewimages.com/viewimage/?imageid=210274&promotionid=1&partnerid=2&type=results http://corbis.altavista.com/referrals/av_image_details.asp?linkid=2623&imageid=10894880 http://www.viewimages.com/viewimage/?imageid=96456&promotionid=1&partnerid=2&type=results Once more... good luck!
shadownet posted Fri, 20 July 2001 at 6:18 PM
Wow, thanks TygerCub!!!! On my way now to check out the links you gave. You folks here are the best! :o] Rob
shadownet posted Sun, 05 August 2001 at 7:05 PM
Yipe! shadownet does the happy snoopy dance. Smaug Cometh is in the Gallery. Thanks to one and all for your help, I could not have done it without you guys! Rob