In Ireland, lived a gentle giant called Finn MacCool. At fifty-two feet six inches, he was a relatively small giant. But across the sea in Scotland there was a rival giant called Benandonner. The two Giants hollered across the sea of Moyle, each demanding a trial of strength. This was agreed, and hospitable Finn offered to make the contest possible by building a rocky causeway between the two countries. But to do this he needed some helpers. Which tells how Finn built a path across the sea from County Antrim to Benandonner's lair - Fingal's cave on the island of Staffa, but the work was so laborious that Finn fell asleep with exhaustion. Oonagh was Finn's wife, a giantess; she woke up early the next morning to find Finn sound asleep. Then she heard the sound of thunderous footsteps. And saw the mighty Benandonner approaching. He was truly gigantic. Finn would be no match against this Scottish giant. Quick thinking Oonagh covered the sleeping Finn with a night-gown and bonnet. "Where's Finn?" bellowed Benandonner, "Where is the coward hiding?". He peered at the sleeping Finn.

Eggiwegs! I would like... to smash them!