I could sit here as I have sat here many times before and write a poem or something near to it and talk of my feelings. I can try to write something that side steps and alters what really goes on in my life to give you an idea of what has happened, yet never truly revealing the whole story. I had tried to get me recent ex-girlfriend back the day before yesterday. I did this by giving her the cooler she left with me back, but with a suprise inside of it. Some purple flowers (because purple is her favorite color), a picture made and printed out just for her (which will more than likely be my next post), a compolation cd (mostly some bob dylan, randy newman, harry nilsson, and a few others), and a card with a few choice words. The following day was a great day for me because she told me that she thought the flowers were beautiful, that the cd and picture were awesome and the card was "so sweet" and called everything a thoughtful suprise. From then till tonight, I had hope. I thought I really had a chance to get that beautiful and amazing woman back into my life. But now, I'm wondering that even if I had the chance or even if she was standing face to face with me asking me to come back. I don't know if I would. I understand why people lie sometimes. Weither it's to hide the wrongs of thier past or weither it's just to protect others from uncalled for emotions. But this was a little different. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to sleep. I just don't want to wake up. I'm sick of not being happy.