BIO
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I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
Comments (8)
efry_e
why do you think that? why do you think that noone understnads? and that we forget? what if we carry the same scar? what if I feel the need to be there for you just because I understand and relate? but if I can't convince you, I'll just watch you fade away....... and feel this sharp pain although I do not know you. but I do. but I do.
drag
I to carry scars upon my wrist as reminders of dark times. I know it's you the minute I see your ART. You ARE not alone. Loneliness is a room everybody shares. I admire your ART it is true. Take care and keep sharing it helps you and others. bonita
tnttrucker
That's an awesome poem... very moving, very deep.. put your great use of writing to work. go to poetry.com and opem a free account.. they keep all your poetry on file, no charge at all... mine are there
Angelwave
isolation in ones mind and body is something we all know, and us artists paint it, so we share it, the pain is large and the gifts it bares is larger... beautiful and true art of the soul
A_
not true - it does not fade from my memory, believe me. very good work.. the colors and composition are spot on. and the words are very powerfu too. intense work.
bevchiron
I wish you could believe otherwise Yo, your image leave such a lasting impression & never fade from my mind, they always reveal such striking truths too, no way could they not make sense to me! This one speaks volumes of a life muted & obscured by pain, a truly heart wrenching & eloquant work.
t3
hehe, well spoken. worth to the worthless, sense for the non sense. it all is most of all the same...
Splinter429
your art has changed the way i look at my own life. i was doing stupid little drawings about being upset over some girl. your art is true pain we cant begin to understand. you may feel like it, but your work will never just fade away. my thoughts are with you man peace,