H.A.O.T.Y. by Brian S.
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Description
It's the Horses Ass Of The Year award...
I had done this a little while ago to show someone that I could still make fun of myself.
Having thought about it since then, I now find it more true than just trying to be funny.
From the deletion of my galleries. (multiple times)
To the troubling, worrisome images and text that I post sometimes.
The turning off and on of comments.
The emailing of some, with overly whiney, disturbingly sad messages (many of which I don't remember writing)
To the things I do in real life (that I won't mention) my family has to put up with 24/7.
I find that this is quite a fitting award for myself.
Well one thing needs to be changed.
It would have to be a lifetime achievement award and not just for 2005 to really represent me truthfully.
I never mean to cause any problems, or be a burden on anyone, but it just always ends up that way.
Yep, I really am that messed up in the head.
I probably should never have started posting images in the first place, knowing how I am now. :(
Comments (6)
Fractelaar
excuse my English is to small to understand the story but you have make a hell of a orginal piece here Great abstracty and very very nice texture work
Sabra
I don't know you well, but you post quite a story here. A lifetime achievement award would mean that you can never change yourself, which is not true. I know it is easier said than done to change about yourself what you don't like, but I think giving yourself a break would be a start. You make great art, that shows a lot about yourself I really hope that you continue to do that. And I could think of a lot of people on this earth that deserve that award a hell of a lot more than your do! Take care!
Mondwin
Agree with Sabra !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bravo!V:DDD hugs Whylma.
dlk30341
Very creative indeeed. Ditto the above, we've all been asses at 1x or another. Could be we've had a bad day or had/medical/personal problems. So don't be so hard on yourself....none of us are perfect in any way :)
DennisReed
Congratulations on the Cool award Brian! :) I think I've given that to me a multitude of time, as well as I'm sure other have wanted to give it to me derserving or not! I'm with Sabra above, 100%! Keep looking at the brighter things in your life, if you find yourself not, allow yourself to!
Digimon
The mind reels at the thought of all the people this award could be given to (Myself included). I know you found out about the Bipolar disorder, and that is helpful in that your problem now has a name. I am sure they have you on med's for it, but I really don't know anything about the treatment. I have a friend who works professionally with people who have the disorder, and he say's it makes the patients life a "Living Hell", which you have visually presented in several images. I can't imagine how difficult it must be, but you have found an outlet for some of your frustration, that's worth something. I usually don't make too many comments on the emotional/psychological aspects because 1) I'm not a doctor, and I don't play one on t.v. 2) I know that is not what you want to hear 3) I don't know what you want to hear. But for what it's worth, and IMHO it should be worth a lot. I suspect that there are many people (Family & friends) who genuinely care about what happens to you! All I know, and can say for certain, is you are extremely talented, and I always look forward to viewing your posts, even if it makes me cringe sometimes. Because life is not always clean, pretty or perfect. Sometimes it sucks, it's dark, it's Hell on Earth. Peace.