Three years to this day my grandfather died. Sometimes it's still hard for me to believe that he's gone. I mean, he made it a really long time, you know? They told him he was running out of time a year before his actual death, and that was either the second or third time he had been diagnosed with cancer. Even though he called me a couple days after he found out he was going through another relapse and told me, plain and simple, "I'm dying", it never really hit me. I worried, though. I worried every day, wondering if he was alright, if he was in pain, if I'd have to wake up to the news that he was gone. But I never thought it would happen, until I really DID wake up to the news. When my mother came in and told me I didn't know whether to cry, smile because he wasn't in pain anymore, or be angry with myself that I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. I wondered if there was something more I could have done. Could I have called him more, even just to hear his voice? Sent him birthday cards, if only to tell him that I loved him? All those things I felt I took for granted, until I no longer could do them. My grandfather was a fighter. "Death be not proud." Apparently, no one gave him the memo. He died with dignity. Death held a blade to his throat, and he simply laughed and said, "Hell no." And he lasted another year. If he was going, he was going on his terms. Not a timeline set by someone who only looked at his body through an x-ray and didn't see his spirit. My grandfather was a fighter, not just for himself but for everyone around him. He helped me in a time when I needed him most, and he refused to look away simply because someone told him he couldn't take on the task. He didn't believe in "couldn't." He was brave. He was strong. He loved his family. He was strict, but only because of the previously stated fact. There was a lot I would have done differently if I was given the opportunity to live my life with him over again, this much is true. But he knows I love him. I refuse to put that in past tense. If you love someone, tell them. If you want to hug someone, hug them. If you want to call someone, just to hear their voice, don't even hesitate to pick up that damn phone. The simplest things might seem mundane, but one day you'll be glad, and so will the other party. Even though they might be a little confused present-day, they'll smile later on, or even five minutes from now. Do what you can for those you love, because you never know when you might not be able to. My Poppa...there are so many things I wish I could say to him. I wish I could fly kites with him again, or go shoe shopping with him, or even just leave a goofy message on his machine. I took that all for granted when I was young, but I'd give anything for it now. We all take advantage of things when we don't realize the seriousness of mortality. But I realize it now. Poppa, I know you won't rest. You'll want to fly your kites again, and drive around on the beach in that snazzy car of yours. And take pictures of lizards, just like me. So Poppa...I miss you. I love you. Fly In Peace.