BIO
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I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
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Comments (6)
Kalliandra
I wondered why all your pieces had been black recently :D Oh well, I hope you are having luck finding happiness.. you commented on a piece of mine whenever I was depressed and it really helped me.. so I will say the same thing to you.. you are not alone.. As for your art, no matter what kind you create, I will always be glad to look at it..
glhturbo
Dude, you make my stuff look like S#$%T! You convey power, emotion, peace, fear, love, pain ... All I have are smiles and big boobs! :-) Not that there's anything wrong with smiles and boobs, but I call my stuff "renders" and a "hobby"... You sir, are truly an "artist" ... Don't call anything from the heart "crap" ... It's not!
dragonfly2000
No words of wisdom, tho i've a ton, but I too always look, tho rarely lately time to comment. Salute as the wise man said.
mooreno
Black with words have meaning, look behind the dark black and I bet you that you can find light.
SoulSearcherr
you need no image..your words is enough..they are strong..your words makes one feel..and see..
SSoffia
YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!