I Understand Ginny, I am with you, will always be here.........

"Those around me dont understand Its dark Its scarey Alone with my thoughts These feelings Alone" -- Hard to know what to say, kind soul, other than I wish you well and soon! Your words were superbly written and expressive. Even this dumb, old man fully understood them. I most sincerely hope that your first sentence above is not accurate. If it is, you need a new selection of those around you, dear lady. My best to you and yours. IM me anytime, if you wish. T.P.

Darlin' we're here, so you're not alone.

There is safety and strength in numbers Ginny. I am with John and we are both here.

Ginny, When I read this, I saw me. How I used to be. Girlfriend, I am going to tell you how I see it. You are neglecting yourself! You can not be all things to all the people in your life! No one can be. No matter how hard we try to deaden ourselves to the pain we feel, if we don't deal with it, work through it, it will still sneak up on us and slap us in the face! Ask me how I know? It comes out, but it comes out sideways, in phobias and compulsions. Because we didn't learn how to deal with it straight on. Those things that happened weren't our fault, we aren't responsible for what the adult perpetrators, adult predators did to us. Even though they tried their damnedest to make us feel we were responsible. We carry a false sense of guilt and shame that needs to be cast off. You are incredibly talented, and so strong! I can see you laughing, but it is true. It seems to me that at times we view ourselves through funhouse mirrors, rather than seeing our true reflections . We see distorted images, crafted by people who abused us, used us, and would have destroyed us had we not been strong, even as children, and the worst part is that we are so willing to believe those kinds of people. Ginny, you need to take time for you, to find your feelings and give them voice, rather than hiding them away and pretending not to feel. I know how hard that is. I for years was almost willing to die, rather than give voice to them. The hard truth is that no one can set us free, except ourself. Please girl, email me, or IM me. I am here too, to offer any help that I can give! Love Ya Lady, Leann

Being kind to others, giving to others, can become an addiction: People will thank you for what you do for them, but who is there to thank you for what you do for yourself? Only you... alone... but if you SEE that what you do for yourself is more valued than what you get thanked for, because it makes you a brighter light, a more powerful person, when YOU are cared for--by yourself! If your only sustenance comes from others, you show on the radar as helpless, a victim... you attract users and abusers. The nicest people can be abusers, without either of you knowing: They expect you to fit their mold, and you give them what they expect--because you aim to please! Society's teachings today, are based on warped misunderstandings and greed; let yourself be--no, MAKE yourself be--a little BAD! Not hurtful, but maybe a little selfish. And if you need friends, you see that you cannot even drive away true friends.

((((((Ginny)))))) i know...excellant writing, do take care and write me if you need too..