BIO
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I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
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Comments (8)
Angelsinger
Your art, as well as your dedication to your friend, are powerful, beautiful, inspiring... Isn't it always this way - the mediocre seem to have great confidence, and the most gifted doubt themselves. You make me realize again how blessed I am for the few (but true) loves I have in my life. Thank you so much for this. It's easy to overlook the good things, take them for granted... but you have brought my attention again to what -- and who -- really matters.
arthez
powerful work
Dendrite
You dont know me from Adam, but I wish you well - and your friend also. Your words show great sensitivity, as does your art may all three of you prosper!
Lashia
Wow, this is amazing work. Its too bad its behind a black thumbnail (Oh Im a hipacrit!) Beautiful work. Amazing :-D
jimw1
Excellent image' and very nice sentiments.....beautifully done..
cbender
good to hear that... an amazing picture... tell her if she's feeling like trying to show some of her works... here's a place to do so... :) hugs christian
Steak
I find you and your art intriguing to say the least. I mirror Dendrite's comment. Thanx for posting.
SoulSearcherr
sigh..I am losing words to describe how I feel..