BIO
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I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
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Comments (11)
mmirnii
i cant get enough!! sooo good!
Lashia
I love the way you've used the only light from the desklamp, and the smoke adds a great effect. I always love your work, again, another splendid image :-)
gattone_blu
Excellent render
ARTWITHIN
Yoshi, I always find your paintings full of pain, poignancy and struggle; creatively and wonderfully expressive. Your writings, too, have impact and elicit a good deal of empathy from me. As a result, I try to give back something for the gifts you give me. Here is my gift to you today. Pain can actually be a path of growth. It is a good thing that it comes to one's consciousness. Dr. Scott Peck wrote in his book "The Road Less Travelled", "Problems call forth our courage and wisdom; indeed they create our courage and our wisdom." Don't sell yourself short by negating the growth, and healing, you have achieved, the courage and wisdom that has become a part of you, and which you share with all of us. Own it and use it to benefit yourself and others!
shutterb
Fantastic... Love your "lighting". Cool story to boot... Excellent
Synapse
Hi Yo, don't think I've seen you this clearly before. Good series you've been making of late, with accompanying text that reveals your great moral integrity and honesty. Agree with Suzanne up above about selling yourself short. All the best to you and those close to you.
mooreno
Stop chaseing your tail, your art is your path so use it. You create your own reality so try painting a new one.
cbender
may i simply follow suzanne and jim here...? hugs christian
SoulSearcherr
this completely rockssss yo yo yo...S
Hopey44
I think this is your best image yet! LOVE the lighting! The more positive images suit you so much better yomah - to me, they seem to work better! Lovely.
gunsan
Yu are such a talented and sensitive artist Yo, and I enjoy every image you show us, even if I don't comment them all. I am very much impressed by the way your art has changed lately. You know that i don't hesitate to take in the dark side of you, filled with a pain i recognize in me too, even if it becomes more and more shadowlike as years pass by, and light fills me more and more. But fresh winds are blowing in your art now, you turn more outside, and i love your latest girl portraits. This one I like a lot too, even if I have not read what you have written yet, somehow my concentration is too shattered. i concentrate on the image, which has a wonderful light and is so alive, and give, at least to me, a feeling of peace and calm.