I Whisper Your Name by FallenAngelLPN
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Description
A thousand times a day,
I think of you.
I wonder if you hear me,
When softly,
I whisper your name.
Going thru the day,
My chores being done.
Wishing you were beside me.
Softly,
I whisper your name.
When life gets to be too much,
When I am overwhelmed,
When the pain is too much to bear.
I find comfort,
When softly,
I whisper your name.
When I feel I can
Comments (10)
Valerie-Ducom
wowwww.... very impressiv poem and excellent words... good day ;)
mamabobbijo
Achingly lovely! So glad the end doesn't stop at the dream! Good Luck on Loves Journey. Thanks for sharing. BJ
Steak
Good to see you posting and looking for a bright and shiny future. Sounds like a wonderful one too. I have to ask the women in my life to "Say my name" or sometimes call me "Big Daddy" lol.
micsteel
Touching, lovely words... Life can be so restrictive, dump unfair and illogical--even unreasonable--restraints on us, deciding for us what we can do and shouldn't do... when the forces that create those pressures have zero clue as to their impact or utility. Why can't we all just love one another? Well, I'm doing my part: I'm staying single and childless as long as possible! :D That's so I can adopt the whole universe, you see...
leanndra
Beautiful prose, so powerfully written! Very evocative!! I am happy for you!
WiseHanna
Hi Angel, I like your poem. It is strong and developes nicely from start to end. I know that it is not customary here in this community to give actual criticism, which is a pity, for to my mind, the only reason one should join a writing community is to learn and improve his work. There are a few stanzas in the poem which I think you should look at. "When life gets to be too much, When I am overwhelmed, When the pain is too much to bear. I find comfort, When softly, I whisper your name." You have used the words "too much" twice in this stanza. I believe one of them can be changed. Suggestion - When life gets to be too pushy. In two other stanzas you used the word SO. I'm used to omitting this word from my prose writing and I try not to use it in my poems. It is a word that weakens any line in a poem. Try this: "When I feel (so) alone, And my pillow is not enough," or this: "That song on the radio, Reminds me (so much) of you." These lines now read better in my opinion. Mind you, these are merely my suggestions. Thanks for sharing your poem. Hanna
qmont
WAMHASILY.............enough said..................You are my Angel
TallPockets
Wonderfully done work! Here's hoping your 'whispers' turn into SHOUTS. My best to you and yours, kind soul. (I got your IM but it would not let me reply to yours or anyone else's IM's. SIGH). "LIFE is for the living". Get out and ENJOY it. To those who drag you down, throw them out. To those who lift you up, hold on tight. Just my simpleton life views. WINK. My best, always, kind soul. T.P./brian.
Shadowmonkey
As always your words are tender in the way you write weaving such wonder through each and every letter. Stunning my Dear ;0)
Storm9167
Great poem....