~Numb~ (Controversial words inside) by originalkitten
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Description
I did what I had to do reluctantly because of my health. I would have died should I have continued, quite frankly though I would rather be dead than live with this...hope these words apply to me one day.
NOTHING TO FORGIVE
A woman stands in judgment today,
Still attempting to atone,
She sheds a tear in memory,
And feels so all alone.
Too many years of silence,
Have ripped this girl apart,
As the death of her unborn child,
Lies heavy on her heart.
She sits alone with sorrow
Questioning the baby's sex and name,
Consumed by her emotions,
Of sorrow, guilt and shame.
Then she travels back in time,
To where it all began,
Back to the abortion clinic,
Where they finalized the plan.
Self doubt and fear plagued the way,
To which she'd heed no warning,
Crying out for absolution,
Yet condemned to a life of mourning.
In that instant when she gave up on,
All the values she held true
"I'm sorry my blessed baby,
There'll never be another you."
With helplessness and horror,
For this life who grew inside,
She still recalls the instant,
When that precious child died.
Staring death in the face,
Knowing she too would die that day,
She tried to deny the agony,
"Don't worry, it's okay."
Shock and horror were the result,
Of taking that precious life
That day she took a tiny heart,
And cut it out with a knife.
Years went by in anguish,
And the girl was never free.
She stood alone against the world,
On the verge of insanity.
Trying her best to hide the pain,
And the tears she never cried.
With too much guilt to bear,
She only thought of suicide.
Wanting to see her baby in heaven,
But knowing it was a sin,
And if she ever followed through,
They wouldn't let her in.
The Lord finally cried out to her,
"It's not your fault my child.
I do not think you're wicked,"
Then he gently smiled.
God showed her all the reasons,
That she was meant to live,
"Now go in peace my daughter,
There's nothing to forgive."
But she closed her ears,
And she closed her mind,
As she carried the guilt,
For leaving her baby behind.
And the woman never told a soul,
Until this very day,
About her aborted baby,
And how it passed away.
Then she brings herself to face the pain,
With all the sorrow that she would feel,
The wounded soul hoped to find,
A place for her to heal.
As she called out to her angel,
She fell upon her knees,
In an anguished voice she whispered,
"Can you forgive me please?"
Then the spirit of the unborn baby,
Reached out to her at last,
"The time has come dear woman,
To let go of the past.
"There was a reason to this rhyme,
There's no debt to repay,
I did have a purpose in this life,
And we'll meet again someday.
"Lay to rest your heavy heart,
And don't be afraid to live,
Now go in peace my mommy,
There's nothing to forgive."
~~~~~~~~
(used with permission)
Comments (32)
fairyfreak
OOOoh honey ((((((((HUGS)))))))) Astounding image!
MKeyes
I can't imagine the agony you're suffering, but it shows just how great. Don't know all the why's that led to it, and I am thankful to have never faced such a decision. There must be groups, places for assistance, emotionally, pyshcologically, mentally. I hope that you find such a place and support group and may they guide you to a brighter day.
chrislaarman
(building on the comments by fairyfreak and MKeyes) Yes, an astounding image and an agony beyond my (male) imagination. However, I do hope that our feedback (hugs, appreciation, even technical comments) provides some kind of support. Myself, I have even lost the ability to express my (mental) pain through images, music or words. So I would not want any verbal assistance, probably just this: constructive comments on whatever I turn out to achieve after all. "This is all I can says, I can says no more." {Popeye: "This is all I can stands, I can stands no more.") All the best, Lou!
VelvetMoxie
Such power in your image and words--and it is true; there is nothing to forgive. I don't know why we are given so many hurdles in this life, but it seems inevitible...I'm certain you are not alone and you will get through this even though it may not seem so now. Sometimes there are no options and so it seems in this case. Try to think of how sad a motherless child would be and know you have taken that pain from that child onto yourself...a most noble gesture! Be gentle to yourself--you deserve it.
wishes3d
Amazing work! Impressive!
Star4mation
Read those wonderful words Lou, and believe.
eekdog
strong message, well done.
Anniebel
Very emotional image, thank you for sharing.
thales
great
LudyMelltSekher
{@}~Hello my dear friend, Very Beautiful image, great work, Excellent!! Wonderful,Wonderful,Wonderful, Super Wonderful Poem!!! (I use traslator) Congratulations !! and... A million stars from me!!! Is a honor receiving you nice comments Thanks you very much!! Gigantic kiss in you heart and Happy Tuesday. Luminous blesing. Ludy{@}~
Burpee
You have captured the agony so perfectly because you have lived it. So sorry and all I can say is that I pray for you and send well wishes and big hugs!
CaperGirl42
"crying here"....this is awesome- I love your artwork for this... beautiful work luv anne Bless you-
sapat
Excellent image and powerful words.
GOLDILOCKSUK
Wow!!!! Totally awesome and a superb idea. Love the lighting too :) Cathy xoxoxo
awadissk
Excellent work!!!!!!!!!!!!
rebelmommy
Hun.. do cry.. allow yourself to grieve for it is certainly deserving of grief. Everything happens for a reason and everything has a purpose.. be it not for us to know at any given moment what that purpose is.. everything falls into the master plan hun.. HUGE HUGE hugs!!!
Niha
WHOA! Amazingly powerful image! I am so..... sad for you.... I hope your pain will cease. I have tears in my eyes reading this and I cannot imagine what you are going through. May God be with you always.... HUGS
Bossie_Boots
omg them words are amazing the scene is so emotional my thoughts r with u luv lou x
FS
Impressive!!Outstanding piece of artwork!!
MariaAJMD
Gosh the poem had me in tears. Excellent scene and so much emotion. Big Hugs to you, sweety. Maria
mickeytie
Oh my, your image is provocative to say the least and your words have taken me back to 1972. I remember the day as if it were just yesterday. So many people on the airplane that left Denver that day and landed in Los Angeles. Around 20 or 30 women, me included, were lead to a bus and taken to a clinic. We put on hospital gowns and were examined. If we passed the exam, were were taken to the waiting area for a while, until it was our turn. When they shouted out my name, I hesitated to go, but I finally picked myself up and went in the room. They did not talk, I was given anesthia and before I knew it thay were leading me back to a large room, where I rested for a few hours before taken back to the airport and flown back to Denver. This thing has haunted me for years and I have asked God to forgive me many times and I know that he has, but it is still a very hard "pill" to swallow. I wonder what the baby might have been, who it may have become...so many questons. Three months after the abortion, I was pregnant again. Married this time and happy, I was so glad that I was going to have a baby. But God had other plans. Two and half months into this pregnancy, I began to have pain and within a few hours, I had to have surgery. My precious baby was gone. I had lost yet one more baby and this time my heart was broken. So very hard. Years have gone by since then, the pain has lessened, but I still think of those two little babies. Sorry that this is so long, but my heart is breaking for you and I wanted to let you now that you are not alone in this.
colynn
An emotional & powerful image!!
boobunny
Louise you are breaking my heart honey!!!! I wished I had the words to make you feel better. But I am here for you if you ever need to talk, you know my email. Or you can contact me here. I am still thinking of you, you are in my heart and thoughts. A wonderful image, it really speaks for itself. Great job!
WhopperNnoonWalker-
wooooooooooooooooozer hunni, amazing work....very impressive. goes strait to my fav. Im so sorry you have to struggle with so many things hun. I will keep you in my thought and prayers!!!!! Cheers up, even its very hard to do. Big hugs
shanpoo
I am sending you big hugs! I cant even imagine the pain you feel but you did the right thing since your health was at stake. I am so sorry for your pain, maybe you doing these images will help you. big hugs
arwenone
Very emotional work! Excellent!
msebonyluv
In life we are given only those things which we can handle and always know when one door closes another will open and that love and hope will return again and you may be twice blessed!! Just stay healthy and strong, the light will shine again...I promise!!
FUNJOKER
Very cool;)*****.
alanpfd
I'm terribly sorry to hear of your pain. I hope time and support will help you feel better. Incredibly evocative image. -Alan
STEVIEUKWONDER
This is so heart wrenching Louise. Beautiful work and I see so many people can truly empathise with you here, myself included. Stay safe! Steve :o)