When I was a little boy, I did something that all parents dread could happen to their child. I put my hand in a meat grinder and lost most of my left arm. That was the beginning of my life as an artist although I didn’t quite know it then. From that moment on, my life as a child became one of suffering and isolation. I believe that is why you see the paintings that I have created today,  filled with so much solitude and emotion.
I grew up alone for the most part because the other children found me strange and would never interact with me. That is when I began to sketch, and even back then the sketches had a certain loneliness to them. As I grew older my interest moved towards comic books. The characters that I enjoyed copying were also alone in their forced solitude.  I guess that’s why I liked painting heroes like, Ghost Rider, The Hulk, Spiderman and Batman. They all seemed to represent my life of loneliness. I initially began copying these characters using pencil. As I became more proficient, I moved on to markers with colored pencil. Eventually, I started to use Markers with Pastels.
I remember thinking that I could not paint because I could not create my own images. The more I admired the beauty of my creations, the more I came to detest them because they were copies. In my mind, I did not create these images; therefore I was not a true artist. One day I wrote in my journal, “I want to create glorious paintings that are of my own imagination.†I decided to go out and teach myself to paint. In the summer of 1995, I enrolled in the Art Students League of New York. I must have read dozens of books on oil painting as well as the lives of other artists like Picasso, Magritte and Van Gogh and eventually I started creating my own works.
My subjects are usually emotionally charged themes brought about by my own life experiences. I find it therapeutic to be able to feel a certain way, and then transfer that raw emotion to the canvas. Most of my friends say that I wear my emotions on the canvas and I guess that is true. My loneliness and isolation during my childhood allow me to delve into the deepest realms of my emotions and release them at will onto the canvas. Most people find it easier to squelch these emotions, but I find it soothing to release my feelings through art. I see painting as another form of sculpture, whereby you start with an image in your mind, and then you begin to add pieces of that image to the canvas. As you go along, you begin to sculpt out parts of the image to reveal other areas and  soon you have a replica of what was in your mind.
My paintings are influenced by my love of architecture, comic books and the great masters. Painting gives me the freedom to delve deep within myself and connect with that side that most people try to keep repressed. I love to create images that move people emotionally and forces them to see that which does not exist, yet at the same time seems familiar.. When a person sees one of my paintings I want them to feel the pain or happiness that I transferred to the canvas. I want them to say, “I’ve been in that same emotional place.†My biggest fear as an artist is to create paintings that people take a quick glance at and walk away whispering, “That’s nice.†I want them to really feel the painting and I believe that I have been successful at capturing their mind and emotions in that respect.
The act of painting is a collection of my thoughts, energy and experiences. Painting allows me to focus on myself, listen to my inner voice and sort my feelings out. You can love my paintings or hate them, but if they move you then I have done that which I set out to do as an artist, I have touched you deep within your soul, and in the end, that is all that really matters.
Hover over top left image to zoom.
Click anywhere to exit.
This site uses cookies to deliver the best experience. Our own cookies make user accounts and other features possible. Third-party cookies are used to display relevant ads and to analyze how Renderosity is used. By using our site, you acknowledge that you have read and understood our Terms of Service, including our Cookie Policy and our Privacy Policy.
Comments (5)
Kaartijer
Interesting idea, great job!
Fidelity2
Very well done. I love it. And yes, I give it a 5+.
IO4
Great idea and image:)
Chipka
This is an interesting concept, well executed and presented. There is a distinct mood to this, as well as a note of true surrealism. Brilliantly done, and definitely worth multiple viewings.
Cyclone1961
Thank you so much for your great comments!