"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come. Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead. Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves. He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong. The stars are not wanted now; put out every one, Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun, Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods; For nothing now can ever come to any good. W.H. Auden" I met Ward (ID) when we were in junior high school together. I never had brothers or sisters, but I instantly felt a kinship with Ward that I felt with no other person. I had many friends, but Ward and I had everything in common. I always admired his artistic abilities, the two of us drew comics to amuse ourselves and other friends. We bought army gear from a surplus store and ran around like fools screaming "Charge!!!" We spent hours building models tanks, then weathering them to make them look "Real". My first rock concert (KISS) was one where he got 2 tickets for his birthday, and took me as his guest. We went to Van Halen together in 1979, when they rocked. We ordered tickets (Mail order) for The Cars, he mailed in for 4 tickets on the first day, I waited until the last day, thinking that mine would be on the top of the pile! We both got sets of front row tickets next to each other! 8 seats!!! For 2 years we were inseparable. Eventually we had a falling-out. In those days Ward cycled through friends quickly, I was lucky to have made it 2 years. We went to high school together, but ran in different circles. We ran into each other a couple times, but never established a permanent friendship again. I had the impression that he had plenty of friends, I probably gave the same impression. some 15 years later... Ward contacts me through one of the class reunion sites. We get together and it was pure joy. Like we had never been apart. Looking around his home, it was like meeting my identical twin, separated at birth, living a parallel life. We became nearly inseparable again. What seemed the most impressive to me, was that Ward was still the same amazing person, only better. He was no longer self centered and self absorbed. His wife and two lovely boys had a profound impact on his growth as a human being. We had them over for dinner last week, and after a lovely evening, many hugs were exchanged. Ward hugged me long and hard, almost to an "Uncomfortable" point. I had no idea this would be his good bye hug. He was studying to be a Registered Male Nurse. We got together this last weekend and indulged in our favorite childhood past time, working on tanks. This morning I got a chilling email. Ward had committed suicide Tuesday morning. I can not describe how I feel. I'm devastated, angry and profoundly sad. Our reconnection lasted only a couple months. Ward is the zombie prostitute in my zombie pub crawl photo. I had to leave work, I was a wreck. I spent the day consoling his wife and playing with his lovely boys, while she made arrangements. He told me that our reconnection had inspired him, and indeed it inspired me too. I had plans for my next several posts... Now I just want my friend back.