(This is a story about some of the characters from my image gallery. It's also an excuse to dig up the Freak Santa Suit.) A COSTLY CHRISTMAS It was December 23rd and Marty found himself in Blood Valley's seedy downtown shopping district. He pulled open the heavily barred door to Kale's Vintage Jewelry Brokerage (actually a pawn shop) and was immediately greeted by a huge, hulking security guard in a Santa suit. The red-clad gorilla gave a toothy smile and flatly stated, “Ho, ho, ho. Swipe the wares, and down you go.” His piercing eyes were approximately two inches from Marty's. “Uh, no worries there, friend,” assured Marty as his voice cracked. Taking a look into the shop, he discovered that would be nigh impossible even if he wanted to steal something. The room was essentially vacant save a big “cash only” sign and a small bulletproof window with a slide-out drawer. “Come on over,” called a man's voice through a tiny loudspeaker. “You buying or selling?” “Buying, I hope,” said Marty, stepping up to the window. Behind the glass a slim, older gentleman looked at him expectantly. “I'm here to buy a Christmas present for my girlfriend,” Marty explained, with an increasingly dreamy look on his face. “Her favorite color is green, so I was thinking of an emerald. Make that an emerald heart pendant on a gold chain! That would be tops.” The jeweler nodded with a slight smirk. “Are you sure about that, son? An emerald represents a significant commitment.” Marty started sweating and grabbed his collar nervously. “Commitment? Uh, gee, it's not like I'm asking for an engagement ring or something!” He gave a strained chuckle. The jeweler frowned. “I meant a significant commitment of cash.” Marty swallowed hard. “That's okay, I guess. I've saved every penny from the yard work I did this fall. I can pay for it.” “Is that so,” said the jeweler, rolling his eyes. “Well, I think I might just have what you're looking for.” He reached into a drawer and pulled out a glittering necklace. “A fine looking emerald on an 18 karat gold chain. Like it?” Marty's face lit up. “Yeah! That's exactly what I wanted! How much?” The jeweler gave a sarcastic smile. “Twelve grand. Plus tax.” A loud thump soon followed. Moments later, the guard picked the semi-conscious Marty off the floor. The jeweler looked through the window with concern. “Are you okay, son?” On Christmas afternoon, Suki and Marty sat together in front of the fireplace. As she opened her gift, her eyes lit up with delight. “Wow! A jade heart pendant on a silver chain! Marty, this is awesome! Thank you!” Suki leaned in and gave him an enormous smooch. Marty gave a sigh of relief. Not only did Suki like her present, he had enough money left over to buy himself some killer baseball cards. The morals of this story: * It's the thought that counts. * Don't spend more than you have. * And finally, you never have to confess what you were intending to buy when you end up buying something cheaper. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!