Hi Iain-- When considering the title and the latter-Hippie-era clothes, the image struck me as a still from an 1972 ABC-TV Movie-of-the-Week I probably would have liked. A couple of tweaks-- Naomi's eyes are looking at something off panel. You'd think she'd be looking at the skull. The skull is resting partially off-panel. No. The skull is the real focal point for the action in the image and should thus be the central point of the action lines within the frame. Naomi's body is in the right position; just move her head and face toward the skull. Modern UK cop cars sure are gaudy. Nothing you can do about that. But two Z-cars and only a single plainsclothes detective? She nneds to be mopved a bit to the right. As is, a quick glance makes her seem a Barbie doll Naomi would be waving about. Offhand, I'd lose the cars but keep the now-repositioned plainclotheswoman. Looking forward to seeing more!

Thanks David... I'll post a better version later. Advice much appreciated. Yes, our police cars are a bit loud in the old looks department. I might actually set the story in the 70s instead. I can create a better policeman from that period and the cars are either pale blue and white panda cars, or bigger white ones with an orange and blue stripe down the side - or jam butties as we used to call them ^_^ It's still at the point where changes can be made.

Just rechecked - I think the highlight in her glasses is making it look as if she staring offscreen - if you follow her pupils she is looking at the skull. Everything else wil be taken aboard, David.

Intriguing - and the characters look great! Working on one story can be a lot of work - but two at once? I admire your ambition!!