I decided to be born in the wee hours of May 7. The doctors had scheduled my birth for May 9, but one of my key characteristics is that I'm not good at taking orders.
I stormed through kindergarten leaving behind teary, crying children whose sandwiches I had "spiced" with sand or caterpillars, or whose toys I had torn to pieces. I continued the practice in school, only this time I had more raw materials - fountain pens, books, notebooks, chalk, etc. Marvelously enough, none of my crimes against classmates were ever proven, and I managed to graduate with an impeccable record of good behavior.
High school was rather dull - my classmates were either too goody-goody or downright nerds to deserve any special treatment from me. College was more fun, and I still remember fondly all the martinizing I did with my colleagues over a pint of cheap rum in the cold winter days, while a few chosen victims were attending the classes to provide us with reading materials.
After college... life began, and it's not been particularly nice to me. But hey, I can still kick back every once in a while, and boy, it's really, really fun.
For the rest, I leave all to the poor, especially my debts :).
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Comments (8)
clbsmiley
All dogs go to heaven... Some of the most faithful friends I have ever had has been my dogs.
jendellas
When people are called animals, I think it is an insult to animals. I love your little story it is so true.
drace68
Wonderful essay. Thank you for posting it.
ZanderXL
How do we change the world? One random act of kindness to a total stranger.
DennisReed
How true! Superbly told!
vaggabondd
wow wee on a scale from 1 to 5 I give this a 10 ++++++++ fantastic
calum5
Funny how we can all agree sitting here.But whats the point unless you really do make a difference.I donate to all kinds of charities and help as many people as I can,but I could still do more.I think people will feel ashamed when reading what you wrote but 99% will find it easier to ignore they ever read it .Thats the problem right there..Brilliant work,deserves to be viewed /read alot more.Respect,cal
DukeNukem2005
This is an excellent!