Mums the Word ............. by elfin14doaks
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Description
Mums the word, but sometimes it shouldn't be. Sometimes a little information can go a long way.
My mom is mad at me. I am talking openly about having breast cancer to anyone who will listen. I am not doing it to make anyone feel bad. As a matter of fact I am more then sure I am going to be fine. I can feel it in my heart. I talk so everyone will know. Although it is not as common in men, it can strike them as well. It knows no age limit either. My Aunt was nineteen when she got it and had a large portions of her breasts removed. I just learned this. My family (on my mom's side) doesn't discuss personal matters like this. It's none of anyone, including other family members, business. If my family didn't have that attitude I would have been way more vigilant. I found out by making my mom mad. That my great aunt had to have a bi-lateral mastectomy,my aunt had to have the large amount of both removed. My younger sister, who by the way is 4 years younger than I had it two years ago. My mom is also mad because I won't just go get them removed and do chemo like a "normal" person. I am responding well to what we are doing. I want everyone to know "Hey this is out there, and I love you all. Please go get checked regularly."
There are things you can do to help prevent this. There are things we learned when Tom (Dave's brother) had a brain tumor. That came in handy. I knew what questions to ask, because they are not going to offer them, even though they know they are more successful. That's why we knew what the Mayo Clinic is saying about chemo now. By the way, they pioneered it and now they say don't do it unless it's the last resort. The doctors are not allowed to offer these openly yet. They want you to ask questions. The new treatments work and are proven. My doctors are all behind me and are supporting me in all my decisions and even suggesting more. If you would like information just sitemail Dave or I. We have a lot.
I love you all please take care.
Thank you for all the prayers, love and positive vibes. I love you all. This is a great community.
Peace and love,
Cheri
Comments (27)
ShadowsNTime
Beautiful mums and shot Cheri! I dealt with that sort of attitude from my family about 'personal' things too...Your mom is probably scared, as any mom would be. I tend to get a little harsh with my daughter about having to many surgeries without getting second and even third opinions, but its because I have been there and because I am afraid for her. Hope it all goes smoothly with her soon! And glad its going so well for you! Hugs and much love!!!
lizzibell
Beautiful mums...
GBCalls
Awesome photo- my best to you and a prayer for swift recovery.
Rainastorm
Your family is like mine...shush on everything. I am glad you can talk freely about it...it helps you and may help someone else who hears :-) Good for you Cheri! Hugs, Rose
DDFox
Beautiful mums hon and I'm sorry about your mothers point of view. Its very sad because like you said if you had known it was a family history you could have maybe prevented it or at the least kept up on checkups. Some people are just from the old school of thinking, you never discussed anything, even sex with your children. But things have changed so much in this great crazy world of ours and its our duty to keep our children and loved ones safe if its in our hands to do so. So congrats to you and your husband for being so vigilant in your endeavors to get this info out to all who will have the common sense to listen. Healing hugs and love being sent your way, with prayers to the Good Lord to watch over you daily. DD
clbsmiley
Very well stated Cheri!!! Ignorance is not bliss! I talk to people about my Mom and Pops problems and my own at times.. Almost everyone I know has had a hysterectomy, and I haven't so nobody can tell me anything about what I am going through. I have confidence in your choices, sounds like you are doing well with your choice of treatment!
goodoleboy
Lovely bouquet contrasted against the dark background, with the double-entendre meaning of Mum included in your title. I'm hesitant to add anything to the above at this juncture, Cheri, because there is so much info, both true and misleading, floating about vis-a-vis breast cancer, especially on the Internet, that I had better remain "mum" myself on the subject. The streets of ignorance are lined with good intentions. In any event, you know what you're doing, and are keeping well informed, so the best of everything to you.
elfin12u
I can't believe this!! Third time I commented on something and it didn't take. Aaaaaarrrgh! I had just spent about ten minutes typing to see it all just disappear,...damn. First off I love Cheri's Tara style, I'm only giving you a teaser thumbnail. Secondly, her words are so apt! If you actually read her words, you would then know why she feels so deeply about all of you, yes, ...even you Rob! I had said on Cheri's last post as to how much you all rock! Now you know why, you all have shown more caring, support and compassion than her own flesh and blood. Being her third family, by no means makes you last. There's lots I've learned from my brother Tom's ordeal, unfortunately my family thought it best to go the traditional route. Even my mom regrets that now, and wishes she would've listened. The facts are 8 of 10 will deal with some form of cancer in their lives, be it you or someone you know, the number is huge. We just found you, and cherish you all,....please?, when it rears its ugly head in your life, let us know. We'll show you were to go, get informed, do your own homework, just don't listen to only your doctors. This is a business, regardless, just like any other, If there were things out there that really worked, and totally cured......how would that affect the business? There is much to learn, For those of you who seek, let me know, or Cheri...please!
elfin14doaks
My information comes from the Welhouse Clinic in Madison WI. Dr Rene Welhouse was tragically killed almost two years ago. She gave us the information for Tom, but it was too late for him. The chemo and radiation did in his organs. She saved my dad. They said he was going to die, that was five years ago and he is cancer free. They are a part of the University of Wisconsin. I have my doctors in touch with the clinic, They are carrying on her work.
NefariousDrO
I'm so glad to hear that things seem to be going well. I'd felt a bit of the panic I'm sure most people feel when the "C-word" (as you so aptly put it) comes up. It's a shame that other family members are so unwilling to discuss it more openly. You're right, if it runs in the family everyone needs to know and get checked out. All of that said, this is a beautiful photo. The added "glow" around the flowers gives them such a magical feel. Lovely!
auntietk
Silence is NOT golden in these cases! Lord knows, my family is whacked enough in many ways, but at least we all discuss what's going on with our health! Beautiful mums, btw. I love the contrast of the white blooms against that deep, dark foliage. Very nice!
pops
I am also open about mine and it's so funny whenever I see family or friends they say how good I look. I ask them what they expected and they can't answer me because I have always looked good.....lol. I think it's fanyasticyou are doing so well and attitude makes a big difference
orig_buggy
they are simple looking but yet beautiful!!!
Amosicho
Very nice shot
MagikUnicorn
PURE BEAUTY
myrrhluz
Always best to know your families health. Holding it in won't give you emotional support and may mean you miss out on very important information. I hope your mother comes around. Lovely picture! Beautiful detail, shadows, and contrast between flowers and leaves. Very nice!
debbielove
You have the right attitude Cheri.. My wife did just the same when she had Breast Cancer years and years ago... Told everyone who'd listen.. You do just that... Hope your Mum comes around.. My very best thoughts and wishes are always with you both..... Rob
Alex_Antonov
Excellent!
traceyjane
Beautiful shot, and you are so right to talk about it openly. Information is power, power to take control of your life. And I must agree that breast cancer isn't just a female issue, a male friend of the family was diagnosed with this last year, so boys any changes in shape, size or texture in the chest area MUST be taken seriously and examined by a doctor.
NoobasaurUS
Wow! What a beautiful picture!!!! I wish you and everyone here the best and pray for you all!!!!! If we aren't there for each other in this life then we are screwed. Everybody has dark hours and if it wasn't for the kind and helpful people in my life I certainly wouldn't be typing this now. Kindness, love, support and respect I appreciate no matter who or where it comes from and is all the more amazing to me when it comes from unexpected places. Be strong and know that you are loved and supported in spirit!!! This message is for you Cheri and for anyone who needs to hear it. God bless you all!!!!!
jendellas
I think it is good to talk as you can have more support around you, I think it helps. Its a shame your mum didn't talk about the 'C' in your family. My friends mum & grandmother had it & she is monitored regularly. Glad is all going well, take care, love & hugs. xxxxx
durleybeachbum
See if you can lay your hands on this superb book about this subject. 'Eating Pomegranates: a Memoir of Mothers, Daughters and Genes', by Sarah Gabriel. (Jonathan Cape £16.99 BP) I have just read an extract, it is a most remarkable story.
adrie
Hi my dear Cheri, I also think it is good to talk about your Breast Cancer, don't hide it away.....talking about it is also helping you healing. Be strong my dear friend, big hugs for you and take good care....greetings Adrie. Your phototshot is also very beautiful.
frieder
A wonderful floral portrait!
Miska7
Very nice flowers! Great capture.
flavia49
great image!!
mickeyrony
Hummmmm ..... I believe well that it is well in speaking to alleviate us a little. I admire youin your wisdoms, Because it is not easy for people to be revealed but the important it is well to feel. Can you have the forces necessary to lead you towards the glory of your hopes and to live the moment of your love. There is so much to contemplate and smile to savours of the life. Superb flowers. That beauties in a glance ((5++)) MICKEYRONY Hummmmm.....Je crois qu'il est bien d'en parler pour nous appaiser un peu . Je t'admire dans tes sagesses,Car il est pas facile pour les gens de se dévoiler mais l'important c'est de bien se sentir . Puisse tu avoir les forces nécessaire pour te conduire vers la gloire de tes espoirs et vivre les instant de tes amour . Il y a tant à contempler et sourire aux saveurs de la vie . Superbe fleurs .Que de beautées en un regard ((5++ MICKEYRONY