At high noon the metal of Shalmiraine began it's shimmer. It shone lights like shadows of flames through it's superstructure for several minutes before going back to it's opalescent sheen. Jin looked out of the day-room over the hangar bay and said, "If one stares at the shimmer, you'll be hypnotized or go mad. According to legend." Rose blinked her eye and looked around at the other women around the table and said, "The same can be said about grief! I want to help us through the traumas we individually suffered in a way that no one else on-board has. I lost my son, Omega, after he flew into Lime, crushing her body and injuring Sunshine. The Cyclops Collective took him from me as I wasn't fit to raise a child with his powers. I'll never see him again. It's just like he died.You others, have your own tales." Rose sipped from her cup of hot jolla and looked around. She raised her brow and sighed, "Don't everyone jump in at once!" Neblae straightened her tunic and stood up. "I have to manage repairs to the ship. I don't have time to..." Jin said quietly, "Sit down, Neblae. Please. Toxic slapped the Measure on your behalf. Snowflake told what happened about Narchi. YOU are not the only one suffering. When I was a slave a couple of years ago on City 32, I had a baby and killed her." Neblae sat down hard with a look of horror. Slicey-Dicey put down her cup of nutrient and sat up, her face not having the ability to show anything. "Lords of Light! That is..." "Awful? Horrible? I've applied all those and more. Before I broke they 'programing' I couldn't self-terminate. Some of my old master's friends were pedophiles. I knew how they would use the child of a slave. It was a cold equation. Save her by killing her, and they kill me and end my suffering. They didn't." "They carved out one of my eyes and threw me in a pit with a red howler in the grips of the Blight. Coming down with the Blight seemed fitting punishment for being a monster. I met Toxic and I got cured a year later. I still have nightmares", Jin seemed matter of fact about it, like she was talking about the weather. Neblae could see the lines of stress in her face. Slicey remarked, "If I had only known how evil they were, "I'd have tried to bring the whole city down, after they kidnapped by baby and vivisected him." For a machine-life, Slicey sounded angry and hurt, and after a moment, she whispered, "I just wish I could cry. My new face doesn't have tear ducts." She looked over at Rose and asked, "If we get the four sisters back on-line, can I have a soft body?" Neblae was so shocked by that, she knocked her cup off the table to bounce on the floor. "YOU? SOFT-BODY?" Rose smiled a bit. "My fault. I've been regaling her with the joys of soft-bodiness. Wait until you eat chocolate for the first time! Wow...ANYWAY--I'm going down the stem to the city below to look for a birthday present for Sunshine. It's today and when people found out, everyone want to party for her or such. I just do not understand the custom of birthdays!" Neblae dropped her head. "I come from a tribe. Living in pretty damned primitive conditions. If a child survives to it's first year...it's a pretty DAMNED big...thing." She sobbed then, thinking of her unborn child, laying in a grave in her village. Rose said, "It hasn't been a month, yet. You hurt. We all hurt to greater or lesser degrees, BUT you didn't have a target for your anger and pain, until you almost lost Narchi. Then you..." "HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND! HE GOT ME PREGNANT! HE had to...pay for my pain. Oh, gods above...I am such a monster." She weeped and Jin held her. Slicey touched her shoulder. Rose said, "You aren't a monster. You are a grieving woman in pain who had a thought based weapon system ready to respond to sub-conscious thoughts, as well. The captain has placed us ALL on leave until the ship is ready to depart, two weeks from now. Enjoy it. Visit family. I'm going shopping." --TO BE CONTINUED!--