#02: 2 Purple Frogs From, “The Odyssey” – Homer Let’s hear it for the Weird Sisters! Why should the guys have all the fun? In a genre full of all sorts of loathsome entities, the female Witch—goddess daughter, sorcerer, diviner, potioner—seems to stand out as one of the worst. It doesn’t help that most stories about witches were created by men. Typically the witch is portrayed as demon’s consort, evil queen, wicked relative, or an old spinster with a bad attitude. And ugly. Almost always ugly. There are a few exceptions; for them, beauty is one of their most potent weapons. The super witches of Japanese Manga are direct descendants of Asian deities, and they are as beautiful as they are deadly. There are also the succubi of Indian/Sanskrit folklore, the cacicas of South America, and the Vodun priestesses of Afro-Caribbean culture. As a child I was entertained with stories about the most famous of them, Marie Laveau of New Orleans. In western literature, there is Jadis by C. S. Lewis, Ayesha (bka “She”) by Henry Haggard, and the elfe queens of Tolkein’s Middle Earth. There are the Sanderson sisters from the Disney movie (who could dare call Bette Midler ugly and live to tell the tale?). But America’s image of witches draws heavily from northern and eastern european folklore. Baba Yaga (literally translated as “the fighting old hag”), who has frightened Slavic children for over a thousand years, seems to be the archetypical poster girl. In English literature, even a non-european mystic like Gagool (from Haggard’s “King Solomon’s Mines”) is pictured as a mean old biddy. There are also witches who are still fertile enough to be wooed by a man, but can’t seem to keep one. Thus emerges another witch stereotype: The Woman Spurned. Angelique is so bitter after being dumped by Barnabas that she curses the entire Collins household. Three divorcees in Eastwick, Rhode Island attempt to conjure up the perfect man, but instead become the latest conquests of the mysterious Darryl Van Horne. And perhaps if the young men of Oz had given as much attention to Elphaba as they had to Glinda, Dorothy Gale might have landed in a very different world. And so we have the star of today’s image. The man who rebuffed Circe’s advances would do well to stay away from her afterward, and especially turn down any invitations to pig out at her dinner table. Odysseus, aided by some deities from Olympus, was the only one who ever managed to subdue her. Talk about bad P.R.! Beyond the Lady of the Lake, the heroines of Hogwarts, or the Stephens household at 1164 Morning Glory Circle, it’s hard to find good witches in popular media. Nonetheless, a witch can be a good person to know if you want a brewsky with a special kick or some insider information about your life. But then again, the truth—especially after a few of those kinds of drinks—can get lost in translation. BTW: History’s most notorious witch trials did not take place in Salem. Over 100 people were executed in North Berwick, convicted of using witchcraft in a collective attempt to overthrow King James VI of Scotland. He was also King James I of England: the same James who supervised publication of our best known Bible. The same who presided over the “enhanced interrogation” and execution of the alleged Catholic terrorist, Guy Fawkes. The same who was believed to be from the line of Banquo, a man who the Three Witches predicted would be the ancestor of many kings but never one himself. “Props” to 3dt (columns), 3dattic (bushes), DeEspona (pigs), Baument (frogs), OneCommune (grapes), Varian (vine), Archive3d (goblet), Maz (pearl necklace), Traveler (), 3D Strike (Greek vase), Kagetsu (Greek nose), ISOP (panty), JohnWest (robe, halter), and anyone I may have missed. Selections from the same shelf: “The Snow Queen,” Hans Christian Andersen “Macbeth,” William Shakespeare “Hansel and Gretel,” Jacob and Wilheim Grimm