Voluntary hospitalization... by yomah
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Description
INSIGHT WITHIN THE BIN
Voluntary hospitalization...
Voluntary does not mean free to come and go, it just meant I was not brought in handcuffed. Voluntary means WILL. An act of will. "I will this to be so, and it is so.", or so it seems in the free world. Yet in the bin, it means a resignation of will. It is your last free act until they release you.
This was the worst part about being institutionalized. The worst part about being mad, being considered mad. Because will, your will is the thing that makes you human.
Madness is a disease of the will, of judgment, that is what is impaired. And that is why your will is taken away. Put a person in a cage and you can not help him, but leave him to his own device and he can not help himself - or will not. Freedom is a prerequisite for healing a broken mind. It can not be fixed against it's will, yet a broken mind is a broken will. A freedom that does harm, even potentially serious physical harm to itself and possibly others, a freedom that can attack or maim, so how else to heal but by force.
I have missed being here @ Renderosity and am trying to contribute again. I still feel broken but some pieces are starting to fit together...
Thank you for stopping long enough to look and thanks even more if you've left a comment. Both are greatly appreciated.
~Yomah
Comments (4)
bebopdlx
Very powerful work and words. Hope all does well. Again, beautiful work.
Lashia
Is that why there was such a pause in your uploads?? Im glad youre uploading again, your images are powerful and moving. This post shows those same characteristics. A passionate post.
A_
a very strong image. i can't imagine this was an easy experience.. but i hope it did help you, and i'm glad you do have a will to heal yourself. we've missed you here (i know i have, anyway).
Zarat
Well, you can see it this way: most have only 1 will, other have 2 or more "wills" that fight each other and make them incapable of making decisions. Further are most ppl unaware of what they really want until they are confronted with sth. they don't want. They may have some sort of will but since they can't name it, is it really "their will"? This world is made for people who "think" they know what they want. They can function in this world because there are no conflicts inside. No differentiated view, no questions, only a ruleset built by their fears. And if they know one thing at all then it is what their fears thought them from day 1 on: avoid ur fears. Close ur eyes, don't think more then absolutely needed and ffs don't question anything that doesn't impose a lethal threat to your or your lifestyle. A shallow sensation of every loss and win, of course they'll think there are no problems then. Maybe you ended your internal conflict now at some spots. At least for a while. Madness, I don't like that word. Most unsolvable states of the mind originate in fears, learned behaviour, experiences. The mind tries to protect what's left. Comprehensibility by others is secondary. Take care if you handle the pieces of "Yomah" for they are unique and valuable. And don't worry about how to put them together as there's only one way to do it right and that's the way shown to you by your very will.