Sitting alone in my room, I find myself staring at the spot in the corner where you were. Where every morning you greeted me with your voice, calling me awake, demanding that I arise because you are up and ready to start your day...and every night when I was given one last kiss before we both went to sleep...its nearly a week now and I still find myself lost somewhere between what was and what is...my mind drifts, can't stay focused yet, I see the time and think 'oh I have to feed you, have to let you out to begin your daily routine' and then I remember you aren't there and I am with empty arms again... As I think back over my life I realize I can't remember how many times my arms were full and then empty again...there has been a parade of sorts with all the fur and feathers and fins, big feet and little feet and no feet at all, big noses little noses, soft noses and hard ones that served as nose and mouth...long tails, short tails, fluffy tails, slick tails, tails that didn't look like tails and no tails at all...Big soft eyes, little beady eyes, eyes that seemed to pull you deep into all they've seen and eyes that seemed to see nothing at all...I remember the warmth, the bond that was almost instantly there, the life and the death, the pleading and kneading...I remember the love. Have you ever said 'I can't do this anymore, I can't give my heart again?' I have never said that...it is incomprehensible to me that one could ever close the door on something so magnificent, so wonderful, so special as that of an animal that depends on you for filling its tummy, for nursing its wounds for the good times, the bad times and everything in between...Unconditional, thats what they are, they give every minute of everyday to the human who shares their life, while we give them only what we can between work and family and other 'life' things and they are grateful for that time...Seems to me we can learn a lesson from them in how to treat each other but thats not the purpose of this. This is for Tanner, who shared my life only briefly but fully from the moment I found him...Oh he had his moments when he tried my patience but he filled my heart with so much love that those moments were just that, moments. From the moment I saw that man drop the 'moving bag' in the empty lot my heart leaped, I knew there was life in that bag and was powerless to stop, I had to go and see...the soft little sounds that came from the bag wrapped themselves around my heart and when I opened it and found you I was thrilled, your happy little face greeting mine, the little puppy kisses, the climbing into my arms as if you had always been there...and I was angry too that someone could be so cruel, how could they not love you? I know you have probably forgotten your start in life, I hope so, but I will never forget the new start you had, the time you gave to me. I loved you from that moment, I love you still and I always will. Every day was exciting and fun and so full of laughter and love, did you know how cute you were? How I loved those so wonderful eyes that could make you laugh in a hearbeat? Did you know you were loved so much by all who knew you and by many who didn't? You were and you are...I pray your life is filled with so much joy each day, that those eyes stay soft and loving and you remain the sweet baby I knew you to be. I miss you my boy! Some will think I am silly for writing to a dog but its how I deal with my loss, and hopefully how I honor him one time more. I didn't get to say goodbye to him physically, they took him while I was out of the room...easier that way I guess for them so this is my goodbye, my letting go and moving on...tho those happy memories will always be with me and that place in my heart is still full of him. He is still my Tanner! It is only my arms that are empty... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thank you all so much for all the love you shared with Tanner and I and for all the wonderful support you have given me during this time. You are truly the best and most amazing people I have ever known!