Beefcake (low carb) by Chipka
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Description
I tripped over a breast moments after this picture was taken.
Corey had been coaxed into riding on a float during last year’s Gay Pride parade. The float turned out to be a bus, the day turned out to be a bust. I attended the parade, expecting to see Corey on a float…I didn’t see him until after the parade…probably because I was too busy avoiding random breasts in the street gutter, or trying to capture the elusive drag queen in a military-issue camouflage wedding gown. She also wore some kind of bizarre Roman Centurion helmet. When I wasn't hunting for subjects, I was pining for a more Germanic parade, as I remembered from two years previous. I’d spotted a rather ample wedding cake in a wig. Germans really know how to do drag…there’s nothing better than a Rubinesque drag queen dressed as a six-tiered wedding confection. Her wig matched her icing. But alas, I was in Chicago, and not in the wilds of Near-Central Europe.
I’ve been to many of Chicago’s Pride Parades. They’re not that interesting. They're not political at all: not anymore, at least. The only real fun is if you’re IN the parade, totally sloshed on a moving float with fellow pagans wearing goat horns and black cloaks open to reveal the presence of lime green, hot pink, or red-sequined underwear. I don’t know HOW my friend Mike managed to sit in sequined underwear, and I still can’t believe I wore black (and goat horns) on so hot a day, but hey…my clunky steel-toe shoes were rockin’! Ah…but that was a different parade, and the Chicagoland Gay Pagans weren’t an overt participant in last year’s debauchery. At least none in sequined boxer shorts.
Last year’s parade was…well…a parade. Its excitement lay at its end. It was as the floats (and buses) entered the end-stage area that paste-on breasts were shed, where wigs came detached from heads, and gull-winged eyelashes were plucked from eyelids. It was there that a bevy of beautiful boys in green shorts all made a beeline for a diminutive line of porta-potties, screeching and scampering as their naked feet were bitten by street-grit and whatever else might have been in the grass they were forced to cross. I managed to catch a couple of the boys before their synchronized scamper. I was focused on them, and not the treacherous, adhesive-gel breast underfoot. I stepped on it. I thought it was something a bit more fecal in nature, I recoiled my foot, stepped wrong, and took a rather dramatic stumble. I looked back, and there, in the street, lay a single almost-flesh-colored breast, and somewhere in the crowd stood a drag queen, wondering where a vital part of her ensemble had gone.
As always, thank you for viewing, reading, and commenting...and I hope you're all on the verge of a great weekend.
Comments (16)
beachzz
One year I bought a San Francisco Chronicle and on the front page was a friend who had been in the Gay Parade there. She was wearing a very low cut peasant blouse, and her first comment was that she sure didn't expect to see her boobs on the front page of the paper--- At least she didn't lose hers!! Great foto, and your story is a lot of fun!!
koosievantutte
love the story and the way you tell it - the photograph is a very good illustration!
Meisiekind
wiping tears of laughter about the breast(s) and porta-potties and sequinced underwear... and just your whole story and the amusing way in which you wrote it!!! The only thing my son retained after last year's Gay Pride Parade here in Johannesburg was a sunburn that I cannot even describe to you. His face and neck looked like raw liver... And he said that he did put sunscreen on... but I wonder.... LOL..
ragouc
Cool shot.
kgb224
Outstanding capture and story line my friend.
Ac-Dc
singular shot, well captured.
durleybeachbum
Hilarious read and a pretty shot, Chip! thankyou for a good laugh with my coffee!
helanker
AHAHAHAA! OMG, This is funny. I bet you had alot of fun too. Well, so it looks. Your story Is so amusing and certainly worth reading. :)
jac204
Lol, you had me going on that breast thing! Love your shot.
ladyraven23452
cool i love the shot and you told the story so well i thought i was there. your the best.
MrsRatbag
LOL! What they all said, and then doubled!
romanceworks
Breasts can be very troublesome at times. :o) Very funny story. CC
auntietk
Our parade used to end at Volunteer Park, but now I have no idea, since they've moved it downtown to 4th. I always stayed out of Volunteer Park, because it was such a crazy, bizarre mob scene, and I didn't want my breasts to get stepped on! The chances of me being knocked over in a crowd like that are probably higher than one might think, given that in a crowd of gay men, gay men don't notice me! :P Great story ... I can see you going a$$ over teakettle with a breast under your foot! :D
myrrhluz
Such a rollicking laughter filled read. I love how you refer to the irksome breasts but don't clarify the reason for their presence until the end. And that is one of the best first lines of a narrative that I've ever read. The last paragraph is a giggle from start to finish and sets such a strong and hilarious picture in the mind. Wonderful image. I like the guy in the back, who seems oblivious everything, except his work. Excellent great fun!
bmac62
Oops, didn't mean to miss your parade write-up. Had a grin going from start to finish. Got a vivd picture of the goings on followed by your slipping and sliding at the end. It is neat the way you pealed the onion back...or took the varnish off...or lifted the lid on this annual event in Chicago. Result? The participants are all mere mortals under the wedding cake or sequined costumes. Not really different from all those who are there to watch and take pictures. Everybody loves a parade. Nice job Chip.
blondeblurr
WOW this is so cool...in-your-face ! advertising blatantly his wares, nobody dared to touch that subject (in more ways than one)! Are they his, that's the question ? what can I say ? I can't help noticing, what I see first and let's hope that he won't lose his marbles or stuffing, like the Prima Donna, the one who's part you took a silent dive for, so eloquently. Actually I noticed the other boy in front a bit later and thought, he could do with a bit of good home-cooking ! Fun, fun, fun was had by all, a bit like our Sydney Mardis Gras in March... see you there ! Cheers BB