Three o'clock smell of bacon and french toast pull me into the diner like the cartoons I watched as a kid my nose is hypnotized my feet lift off the ground Im floating into the doorway semi concious and fully overtaken by the aroma Its now 1966 Where service with a smile was given freely not written in the employment agreement The Little Cheerful Cafe' Where you can eat and dream and pretend that life will always be this delightful Where pancakes always land perfectly where they were meant to bacon is always crispy but never burnt Where when you ask for a glass of orange juice you dont get the shot glass at $2.50 a sip you get the freshly squeezed tall cool glass, that you can find enough change in the ashtray of your car to pay with and have a shiney new quarter left over to get a handful of gum from the gumball machine 1966 she was sixteen years old her hair was naturally curly bright bold red head eyes so brown they were nearly black just like mine As if in a dream I watch her come giggling in through the doorway of the small cafe wearing her favorite dress, showing some thigh in the time of rebellion Purple plaid polyester ~~~you try saying that ten times fast Thigh high boots to accent her perfect legs a smile in her eyes and laughter I wont ever forget falling from carefree youthful lips that even then, were always showing concern for others. I sit and watch her with her friends, how they look at her watching her beauty fall from her soul onto the table the waitress just wiped down from the over zealous truck driver who just inhaled a stack of pancakes in 4 minutes flat How I wanted to join them How I wanted to walk over to her and tell her how long I have wanted to know her in her youth when the weight of the world hadnt crushed her when she was able to smile genuinely where the only pain she knew was from the heals of her feet rubbing against fake patent leather boots that were one size too small Yet she was engrossed in her plate of ham and eggs where she took her fork and poked a tiny hole in the yolk taking delight in watching it freely roam across her plate never hindering it from its coarse even when it threatened to overtake the rest she never did try to supress anything.... She encouraged it to follow whatever path it chose How I longed to sit across from her and hear her dreams the ones she never saw realized the ones she still holds within her the ones that will die with her My tall cool glass of orange juice sat before me now salty instead of tart for the tears had slid down my cheeks to make a layer upon the surface like oil in a puddle after a hearty rainstorm I heard him shout to the waitress and I looked toward the cook waiting for my plate to arrive and as I heard the bell from the door echo in my mind, I knew she was gone and I hadnt said good bye I stood and left a ten on the table for the food I had no desire to eat now Panic overtook me as I heard the door close and I stepped into the street once again only to find her no where I looked left and saw the same homeless girl playing her violin upon deaf ears for money to buy crack with later that night I looked to my right and saw the record store where Elvis was still alive and the Green haired boy was adjusting his nose ring She was gone And I didnt get to say goodbye I walked with my heart under foot down Railroad Avenue where I found my car under three layers of fliers "Save the Garden" "Basement Swing playing at the Wild Buffalo" and a flier with no name that said simply "Dont forget to tell them you love them for the end is near......" I drove home and called her She asked in a weak voice trying to hide the pain in her stomach from the cancer that eats at her and grows with every passing breath "Hi honey, what did you do today?" I replied. "Hi Mom,......." "I had lunch with you at the Little Cheerful Cafe....."