HOW I SO OFTEN FEEL by Sepiasiren
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Description
Not that I cannot and am not happy at times--just left overs I guess--scars from a battle worn past that pops up on occasion.
I often wonder why it is that the ppl closest to us cause us the most pain. And how is it that the people you wish love happiness and success only hope to see you fall and destroyed.
I have so often had people tell me "You just think you are so much don't you?..."
But even if I did, which, paradoxically I did not, why should that bother them?
But I didn't feel that way, just the opposite--I often felt a bit worthless to be honest. But why did so many people believe different?
Because I had dreams and goals? Because I wanted to something with my life? Does that automatically equate with feeling superior. Why can't you simply want to live your life???
That is probably why I identified with the song BLUE by THE BIRTHDAY MASSACRE...
I did a fan vid which can be found here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFrKjnVGHPE
Certain things touch me and make me feel a bit better--I dunno--I want to move beyond the haters but sometimes it just gets to you--even haunts you...
When you feel so unseen it just makes you want to opt out...
What keeps me going? My hubby, my kids and hoping I find my star so the haters can eat their hearts out!
Comments (10)
Faemike55
haters just want to hate! it's that simple, they know no other way to live. interesting POV
momof4rugrats
very nice render and its always the one closest because they know you and know what hurts you. or at least thats what i think. hope things gets better for you
mgtcs
A wonderful expression here my dear friend, great job, I really hope things get better my friend!
eekdog
lsd? keep smiling. lol steve
crender
So beuatiful!!!!
sixstring
Aaaaawww, Alicia! :( You know I don't think of you that way. I see a great friend, who I care about, and envy for her success. I see someone who has waaaaaay more drive than I can comprehend, to have been successful artistically in at LEAST 3 areas (writing, singing, 3D) - You're a triple threat! Wether people (you or others) realise it or not, you've been the one people around you have counted on for a LONG time! And if you had failed them, so too would they have failed... But they didn't, and neither did you! hug
efron_241
There is humor in this one.. perhaps I should try a portrait tooo..
brewgirlca
You know, I had the opposite problem... failure of any sort was unnaceptable. Just being able to kick back and relax and chill out about school and such was impossible until I finally hit the road.... and then did I ever cut loose! Don't think this is being chiding.... it's anything but... just letting ya know the other side of the fence can be tough sledding too! People always just jealous of what they ain't got, it's that simple. You got drive, they jealous cause you're ambitious. You wanna kick back and chill out, they jealous cause you make time for yourself. You married, they jealous cause you gotta partner to share your life with. You single, they jealous cause you just gotta look out for yourself. Fuck 'em. You can't win thinking about what other people are thinking about you.
Sepiasiren
That is why yo' name is Roxy cause you totally RAWKS! LOL
Rhanagaz
First a great work! Strong feelings are often difficult in renders in a naturalistic way. It pretty easy become "overexposed", odd or funny-looking! We all have ambitions, something we want or like to achieve in our lives. Our goals are not always the same as our closest and our expectations to each other in the same way can be very different. Jealousy is and will always be somewhere. I have experienced these negative feelings if I was "to clever" or to confident in matters - but the most important thing is how I feel about ME! I started with interests in different kinds of art later in life, never supported to do it - but it was what I wanted to do - and doing now! Roxy says it well - and I could add: You are the center in your life and it is most important what you think and not what others maybe think. We can support each others but not live each others lives. We have to live our own lives as we chose and I think we feel much more happiness inside when we do what we really like to do in life. Best wishes from Rhanagaz aka. Johnny C.