New Girl In Town by MrGorf
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Description
KELLY meets CRYSTAL for the first time.
Now, now, just wait! Before you fire off those angry letters, let's have a little context. Picture a young girl, forced to leave her friends behind and move to a new town that she knows nothing about. Naturally, she is not happy about this, and is determined to find faults in everything. If she can convince her mom how rotten this place is, they may just move back to where they came from. Or... she might actually start to like it here. That is what it's all about, which will be demonstrated in the next few installments.
Still angry? Then let me apologize and reassure you that we won't be going any further down this road.
Comments (6)
DangerousThing
What's to be angry about? I think that you may be a bit too sensitive to what your reader's think. Maybe thinking about teenagers has put you a bit too much in that mindset. :) And to be honest, art should let the user feel something, even if it is anger. Though this is fairly bland as anger goes. My biggest nitpick with the story is that grandma is the best-dressed one here and the new girl calls her "this poor black woman." She's not dressed like a servant, and given her personality in the previous stories, I can't picture how anybody could mistake her for one. She seems the alpha-person in your stories and I imagine her body language shows it.
MrGorf
I meant "poor" as in "deserving of sympathy," not as in "impoverished." This coming from the mouth of someone who doesn't know that this particular grandmother really is the Alpha Female of the whole town.
Faemike55
Actually I was surprise that Grandma didn't say more in the form of chiding Crystal Very good work
T.Rex
This is so "right on" when considering how straight foreward a child can be. The funny thing in the situation is Crystal having the nerve/courage to butt into a private conversation between two people she sees together (and that she should understand know each other) over an expression/relation she knows nothing about. The big "Oops!" is on her. I wonder how she feels after this gaffe! Resentful? Confused? Her immediate reaction "Like,...what?" drives home her surprise and that she's new and has a lot to learn. How will she hanlde it and how will she adapt? This has the makings for an interesting "new kid on the block" series, where her interpretations clash with the way things are in town. Keep up the good work! I'm looking foreward to the coming installments. :-)
popeslattz
Really interesting characters and interaction. Makes me want to see more. I'll have to check out some of your previous installments.
morganahope
really interesting scene !! great storie too !!