I’ve seen lucky black cats: gregarious little ones perched on wooden steps with the glow of cute beams dancing in their amber eyes. I’ve seen window-screen shredders: red tabbies with eyes glowing red in the presence of a camera flash. This red glow, I’ve discovered, is a particular type of cute beam, intended to distract observers from any notice of distinct feline abilities. These abilities generally involve window-screen shredding, curtain climbing, or (most commonly) some manner of theft. (Cute beams, as described in an earlier post, are a form of electromagnetic energy, produced within a particular gland, distinct to the feline brain, and focused through the eyes. These cute beams, are a feline creature’s primary method of mind control, bribery, and even more bribery.) Most recently, I’ve seen a colorfully-mottled Investigator…a somewhat common breed of housecat known for the ability to…well…investigate. From personal experience, I recognize Investigators due to their innate abilities to rummage through things that they have no business rummaging through, often using their cute beams (on low frequency) in conjunction with purring in order to find things they have no business finding. Apparently, cute beams, when fired from a cat’s eyes, coupled with purring, will reveal (to the cat, and only the cat) interesting, hidden things worthy of: a.) stealing, b.) stealing, or c.) stealing. Theft is—after all—one of the most noble of feline virtues. The Investigator I encountered two weekends ago, was not interested in theft. In fact, the cat in question wasn’t interested in very much of anything. She was sleeping. As is my custom, I’d been visiting with Corey, and during a particular stretch of the afternoon, I felt the urge to meander over to one of two stores nearby, and purchase iced tea, more iced tea, and an iced tea chaser. Upon my return from the store, I noticed a cat I’d seen before: one of the residents of the apartment downstairs from Corey’s. The nosy one. I approached, and noticed that while sleeping, she was also purring: she wasn’t being very nosy at the time. Like most people, I’m quite familiar with the feline habit of purring while sleeping. And like some people (I don’t know how many) I’m also amazed at recent discoveries concerning the physiological effects of purring. It would seem that purring is a supremely versatile act: it ranges from communication, to bone-structure maintenance, to…get this…exercise! Cats, being supremely efficient creatures, are actually able (according to theory) exercise while sleeping: thus, sleeping cats, are actually very busy creatures. The cat I encountered upon my return from a corner store in Albany Park, was in the midst of one of her 22-hour exercise routines. The cat awoke as I approached, and I suspect that it was blind, stupid luck that allowed me to steal this capture of her, momentarily interested in…something. The cat didn’t seem to mind my presence. She simply yawned, stretched, meowed twice, stretched again, and followed me half-way up to Corey’s apartment. She lost interest in following me and decided to sprawl out in a spot of sunlight, casually swatting at the edge of a neighbor’s flower pot. I returned to Corey’s apartment with tea, and a photo. The tea has since been consumed. This is the photo. As always, thank you for viewing, reading, and commenting, and I hope you’re all having a great week and preferably not a roaster of a week as we’re experiencing (so far) in Chicago.