Not a Cimmerian Woodland by Chipka
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Description
I’m not a huge fan of the whole swords and sandals, sword and sorcery genre of…um…well…swords and sandals stuff with swords and sorcerers and scantily-clad slave girls, jiggling for the camera.
I bring this up, because at the moment of writing this commentary, I’m listening to the score to the most recent incarnation of Sword-and Sorcery’s beloved Conan the Barbarian. I’m not a great fan of Conan, though I saw the original Conan movies, starring The Governator before he entered the realm of US-American politics. I rather liked those movies: primarily for their lush and intensely beautiful orchestral scores, composed by Basil Poledouris, and the fact that they were (for the time) rather expensive, lush, fantasies with a massive load of pretty people (many of whom portrayed characters who were mercilessly beheaded amid sounds of a full orchestra and choir, singing nearly-bombastic epic poetry in Cimmerian…one of those fake languages soundtrack composers like to use so much. As Conan the Barbarian was, himself, Cimmerian, I suppose it’s logical for music composers to make up the language and force a somewhat confused choir to sing it.)
There are no Cimmerian lyrics in the modernized re-boot of the Conan the Barbarian score. There are lots of drums, however; and for as many drums as there are, they aren’t very interesting. I’ve spoiled myself by listening to the endlessly-inventive music of Bear McCreary, and so I expect more of any composer willing to give musical voice to that Cimmerian decapitator known simply as Conan. I am pleased that the cast of the Conan-reboot is as distinctive as the cast in the two original 1980s flicks, Conan the Barbarian and Conan the Destroyer. You can’t really go wrong with a cast featuring James Earl Jones as a bad guy named Thulsa Doom, nor are you in bad shape if you can actually follow up with a movie featuring the visual intensity of Grace Jones (in a leather bikini with a raccoon tail dangling from the back,) In the new version of the film, there are no Amazonian raider women played by Amazonian Raider Women with singing careers. Instead, we’ve got a strangely Conan-looking-Conan played by Jason Momoa, a witch with seriously surreal hairstyles played by Rose McGowan—looking, for once, like the kind of woman who’d date Marilyn Manson: she did, you know, but I kinda wish that she looked more like her Conan-nemesis character. I mean, it takes a real woman to sport a hairline with that much recession and tattoo work. Okay, it’s a wig, but still! I haven’t seen Conan the Barbarian in 3D…but I’m seriously impressed with the sheer volume of forehead that Rose McGowan was made to wear.
Okay, what does any of this have to do with this image? Nothing. And yet, there is a connection. I think its simply because the music I’m listening to is such a delicious contradiction to what I was looking at as I resized and played around with this image. I found myself thinking of sword and sorcery flicks, novels, and comic books. There are elements of the genre that are absolutely laughable, and yet…it’s the genre that gave Rose McGowan a really outrageously fabulous set of costumes to wear, so it can’t be all bad. Can it?
There are no warriors or witches in this stretch of wooded land, bordering the Chicago river. Indeed there’s a lot less wood-land than this image implies. It’s the North Branch of the Chicago River…not far from Corey’s place. It’s distinctly urban, but the magic of in-camera framing has removed all hints of Chicago from this shot…with the exception of a power line or two.
As always, thank you for viewing, reading, and commenting, and I hope you’ve all had a great weekend.
Comments (25)
ToniDunlap
Fine text and post for this Sunday Chip. I am listening to Tony Bennett's new Duets II. My favorite is with Aretha Franklin. How Do You Keep The Music Playing.
MadameX
"Amazonian Raider Women with singing careers" Yep, that be Grace! LOL! Love this commentary and the quality and direction of the light in the image gives it a strangely comforting surreal quality..at least it does to me.
MrsRatbag
Sometimes the smallest little sliver of magic is all it takes...and look at this--smack in the middle of a big monster city, and it looks like fairies or elves could come around the bed in a really extravagant boat at any minute! Well done, Chip!
mgtcs
For one who doesn't care much for the "whole swords and sandals, sword and sorcery genre", you certainly were able to conjure up an image from Chicago of a place where one would expect some robe-clad being, along with a sword-wielding one, and perhaps even some pretty scantily-clad slave or witch ladies, to pop up. The few man-made features that we do see make it all seem like it is the border of some mighty Emperor's lair... Perhaps a moat. Love the photo, just wishing it were larger so I could use it as a wallpaper without distortion.
moochagoo
Great mood and reflection. Nearly a romantic picture.
KatesFriend
Ah, not too unlike many an urban river that is still privileged to flow on the surface. If you squint your eyes you can just imagine for a moment that you are not surrounded by concrete and you can ignore the too mathematically perfect bend in its course. A bit like a streetcar curve I suppose, its a Toronto (and New Orleans) thing. I am wondering though, what is causing that surface disruption. I just had a chance to view the original 'Conan the Barbarian' a few weeks ago. It has held up well for all the time past and it is better than I originally remembered. James Earl Jones was a brilliant choice as Doom, "Steel isn't strong boy, flesh is stronger". "What is steel compared to the hand that wields it?". "Contemplate this upon the tree of whoa". And don't get too down on made up movie languages. Edward James Olmos created the clever and effective LA urban slang for his character Gaff in Blade Runner. Done right it gives the story that needed scent of culture and realism. And of coarse Mr. Olmos dovetails this analysis back to the modern Battlestar Galactica and Mr. McCreary's excellent work. The world just keeps getting smaller with every new thing. And don't get me started on Rose McGowan. I had to watch 'Grindhouse' for the simple reason that Rose McGowan was once dating Marilyn Manson, "the king of fffffffffff-", well you know. My better half is a fan of Mr. Manson or as I call him, 'Scary Spice'. Another tell tale sign of matramony, watching movies to please ones spouse. Okay, rambled long enough.
RodS
You know - I love reading your commentary as much as I enjoy your images, Chip! Now, I want to go put on some Bear McCreary BSG stuff, and maybe conjur up a half naked warrior babe - with sword, of course. Fantasy with a sci-fi soundtrack... Ah, how can you go wrong? :-D Very cool capture, Chip!
durleybeachbum
Being more of a 'Ring of Bright Water' person myself I enjoyed your narrative much more than i would that of which you speak! Even though this river is urbanised it still must bring life to it's edges. I rather like the sepia.
icerian
Completely different nature scenery by using sepia filter. Good work! Dobrá práce :-)
helanker
I so like when you philosophize (had to look up the word to spell it right)over stuff. It is always amazing to read, this included. Even though it had not much to do with the River here. I love this shot, which makes me want to have a trip in this river with a peaceful rowboat and a basket of delicious lunch :) AND the camera :)
fallen21
Awesome photo.
Feliciti
wonderful capture and place ,like an oasis into the city !! like the sepia tones so much !!
photosynthesis
Not a big sword & sorcery fan either, but I do remember a scene in one of the Conan movies (I think the first, but I'm not sure) in which Conan is moving through a cave or grotto & his movements are hypnotically choreographed in sync with a beautiful piece of music that reminded me of Ravel's Bolero. I thought it was a brilliant few minutes of film. Oh, & I like this sepia image - well done...
dreampaint
lovely sepia tone, a calm moment, nice pic.
kgb224
Stunning capture my friend. God Bless.
Lashia
Beautiful sepia and view- thanks for sharing! :)
auntietk
I have no idea what you're on about, having not seen any Conan movies, but I was thoroughly entertained nevertheless! Now THAT is some good writing. And wholly aside, since photo and narrative have nothing to do with each other, I love the picture! Mostly, this whole thing reminds me that I haven't seen you for two years, and before the week is out I'll be seeing you in person again, which is way better than any images either of us could ever put up! :D
Sepiasiren
wow--truly lovely. The post treatment on this shot makes it appear magical and all fantasy like. I would very much visit such a place and rest a spell. One of your best nature pieces IMHO.
CoreyBlack
Hmmmmmmmmmm. Conan the Republican and the Voice of God, Mr. James Earl Jones. What this has to do with the Chicago River is beyond me, but you just bought the soundtrack to the new version of Conan, so there you have it. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Why does this look familiar, and different at the same time? Well, it's the North Branch of the Chicago River, which is two blocks from my house, but you've fiddled with it in the most interesting of ways. I love how the sepia tone makes it look like an old silver nitrate print from 100 or so years ago, and the fact that you can't see any modern infrastructure only intensifies the feeling. I also love the lighting and particularly the filtering in the tops of the trees. Fantastic!!
jocko500
the books that was written in the 30,s I think? they are better than the movies but the movies i like too a lot.
CloverLinda
Sometimes the camera not having peripherals can work a treat. I didn't get an image of sorcery and wizardry (but I'm not listening to music at the moment) but I did get an image of Huckelberry Finn (maybe the sepia helped here) Beautiful photo and I love the turn in the river. :)))))))
Orinoor
I did really enjoy the old Conan movies, so baudy and overdone, haven't thought about it in years. Lovely photo, a river in name at least!
beachzz
I have no idea about the swords and sorcery stuff, being a non reader/viewer of such. However, this could be a very old place, and swords and sorcery could well exist. Or, yeah, Tom and Huck could well be spotted floating down this river!1
flavia49
stunning image and text
jac204
Great inner city "woodland" capture.