SOLDIERS OVER 50.... I am over 50 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military. They've got the whole thing arse about face. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35. For starters: Research shows 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry'. We are impatient and irritable and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while. The average 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before Noon. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell,'I'm tired,I'm irritable and I can't sleep but since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s.o.b. If captured, we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. Basic training would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at, and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years, as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've NEVER seen a 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side on a battlefield, and how many pushups do soldiers do AFTER completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too.This is the 21st Century, nobody runs to a battle, and has anyone ever outrun a bullet. An 18-year-old has his whole life ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't even figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down the terrorists, the last thing an enemy wants to see is a group of pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them. And while we're at it,how about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think Men have attitudes!!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol...They will have it secured the first night! ***Inspired by an e-mail I was sent, from an American ex-serviceman.I am proud of the work of all soldiers around the World and truly hope no one will find offence in this. Simply a lighter side to a serious issue, but there is some good sense in this....*** Late Night Office by Ironman13 (books from Late Night Library.) Poser James (I think this is the first time I've ever used him...)