When I married my first wife, I was 24 years old and the idea of sharing the rest of my life with that fine woman was something that I looked forward to doing. I wasn't afraid; I was full of anticipation. At the tender age of 50, I wed my second wife while experiencing quite different feelings. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was a good thing and something we should do; but I was aware of all the things that can happen to and in a relationship stretching over decades. I spent almost 25 years with my first wife getting two university degrees, battling drug addiction and mental illness, being unemployed for nearly a year, raising children, losing my religious faith and finding it again. The list goes on, big and small things. Many of them at the same time. Each thing had its impact upon that first marriage and ultimately it ended in divorce. I bear my first wife only respect and a part of me still loves her and always will. She stuck with me through sickness and health, good times and some very bad times. In the end, though, all these events took their toll, changing our personalities and our relationship. Ultimately we reached a place where our differences in outlook and what we needed destroyed the basis for our relationship. Our children were raised (mostly) and so we amicably divorced. A year later I'm introduced to the woman who would become my second wife. She was wonderful, attractive, and one of the most kind-heated persons I ever met. Over the next 4 years, we got engaged 4 times and un-engaged 4 times. (We always planned to wed in the Autumn, but the last time, we went for spring and finally got the job done!) Yes, we got married; and doing it was scary! When I married the first time, I was too naive to be afraid. The second time, I was experienced to the point of terror. This spring, we celebrated our 23rd Anniversary. I wish I could say that we lived happily ever after but the truth is a bit more complicated. (Isn't it always?) There are some definite permanent "rough edges" in our relationship. One big issue is communication; we seem to be able to do it very well with others but often fail miserably with each other--to our mutual bafflement and frustration. Still, there is much that is positive. We both have a great sense of humor and we laugh together a lot. We have very similar backgrounds and family histories. There is a spiritual component in our relationship and politically we share similar ideologies. At age 70, I think my wife is still incredibly beautiful and sexy (although half the time she doesn't believe me when I tell her that.) Blending two different families can be problematic for some second marriages, but we have been very fortunate in that regard. Our children like each other and accept us both as parents and we, of course, them as our children. There are no second class people in our family. Our running joke is that the secret of every long term relationship is procrastination: I'm gonna' get a divorce!--Tomorrow. Falling in love for a second time and getting married or in a committed relationship is worth the risk. Just make sure that you can stand the other person over the long haul because in both big and little habits and personality quirks, after living most of half a century, the other person will not change--at least not all that much. If you love someone who has a habit or trait that drives you straight up the wall, better to end that relationship and look for someone else. One thing is for sure: Second time love relationships are not for sissies! ____________________ Thanks for looking and listening. Jeremy