Tearing At The Binding Of My Own Story by yomah

2D • Atmosphere/Mood • posted on Jul 19, 2013

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Description

I have been asked / told by my doctors to keep a journal. What I have found when you write things down and reread them at a later time - you either gain insight or come to a horrible realization! I’ve found everything I held most true to be false and everything I’d found false and absurd and inconsiderable to be the truest of all, an endlessly occurring reaction ends with nothing holding any truth and exposing the false idea of my existence and that which occurs within it. I’ve found that growing up has left me infantile at heart and that being happy only left me sad when it came to an end, it’s just that everything I want is exactly what I won’t get and that I’ll never have anything to hold onto when I can’t hold on anymore, I’ve started letting things go knowing it’ll only be worse when they’re torn from me in the end. I know that my bleeding heart will kill me in time but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve forever bared witness to the beginning that was the end that was my life, the figurative implosion of my mind as everything seemingly came together and fell apart at once, as it all happened I quite literally fell apart and disintegrated and took form in the darkest corner of my mind where there was nothing left. As I read through my journal I realize my life could’ve been but a mere second, time for a joke without a punch line, instead it’ll go down as my never-ending attempt to pry myself from everything that wasn’t and everything that was and the nothingness that out-shined it all. ~Yoshi