Dochtersions: Hello everybody! Under the name "dochtersions" I started, at the suggestion of my dear husband, in sharing my photos, fractals, and also some paintings, and other 2D art here at Renderosity. That was in January of 2010. I still use my two owls as avatar, which is a reduced image of one of my oil paintings.
The name "dochtersions" came into my head as only one, when I was looking for a name for my blog that I started in 2007.
This name is not that strange, as I know that God is my real father and mother at the same time, and I know that God loves me more and deeper than a man can aware of (or at least I think this way)
I live in the South of The Netherlands together with my retired husband. I've had various occupations. In my last job, I was working as an assistant to a paediatrician and a rehabilitation specialist. When I had children, I graduated "health awareness", and gave lectures on various topics, plus vegetarian cooking classes to teenagers.
My husband and I have together two daughters and four grandchildren. Which all live abroad, to be precise in Lacey (WA-USA) and Davos in Switzerland.
I've always been busy with all kinds of creativity. As a child I drew a lot, later pottery, needle art, tapestries, weaving, batik art, macramé, etc. Painting with oil was my last great hobby.
Around about the year 2000 I started having unexplained physical symptoms as well as insomnia, which was later diagnosed as having PTSD. It turned out that I had repressed a traumatized youth. However, the physical symptoms made that I no longer could be busy with my passions, the real painting, and other activities (f.e. reading books, gardening, travelling), which I was doing without a limit.
What I can stay doing well in limited form, is playing music on my mandolin and my guitar, and also to enjoy/listen my favourite music, which is including the cantatas of J.S. Bach and his sons , f.e. also music from G.F. Handel, G.Ph. Telemann, a.s.o. This is also the kind of music that my husband (on its church organ) and I (on my mandolin) play together.
After being diagnosed with PTSD a lot changed and I was forced to look for alternatives in which I could express myself. That is, that for years I started writing, and poetry, which go quite intense and as a sort of automatic. Unfortunately, my knowledge of the English language is not sufficient enough, so I write in my mother tongue, with sometimes a few exceptions. The thoughts come to my mind right at unexpected moments, and it’s wonderful, to surrendering to your train of thoughts.
In the encounter more and more of impossibilities, in connection with, f.e continuous pains, I learned to shift my gaze. Searching for distractions and alternatives, I learned to focus my happy mind on all the wonderful and admirable little things in the world around me.
My husband since 1968 Karel (kareldg on RR) bought a small pocket camera for me, and taught me to work with Fractal Explorer. Through my little Sony camera I learned to look differently, to see deeper; to see the details, the structure, how refined, and just so unique the small ones are in God's creation.
What is one of my daily tasks is trying to support people who suffer from PTSD, but they suffer more in an emotional way, and I can understand them and listen to their story (digital) they trust me.
Renderosity: What projects are you currently working on?
Dochtersions: Of course I would love to take more concrete technical knowledge to me (to acquire), and follow tutorials, how to work with Ultra Fractal, Mandelbulb, etc.. The capabilities of PSP investigate and experiment with it.
The manual of my current camera (Canon PowerShot SX50HS, and as pocket camera Panasonic DMC-TZ35, since 2020 I use a Canon PowerShot SX70HS). I would like to sift through, and experiment with it. But exactly that kind of things, such as reading comprehension, concentration, makes this especially, by the constant dominating intense facial pain, really impossible.
All in all, I continue to look for improvement, while in the meantime trying to be light-hearted, happy and hopeful, to be open to everything that's coming my way. I enjoy art, stay in the nature, the outer man/woman in me, the love that I've been given, to realize this, and to be thankful for. Wherever I am happy with is that I am able to meet so many lovely people through RR. Unfortunately, only digital, but I'm also grateful.
Comments (15)
durleybeachbum
Good luck with this new regime, Mies!
I just love what you've done to this poppy, very festive and maybe a sign of hope.
blankfrancine
Fine floral transformation.Get better soon!
Faemike55
beautiful work on this image. I wish you well in your treatments and that you emerge like a butterfly. May you find peace and happiness that you long for
SunriseGirl
You have done a beautiful job with this design! I am glad to hear about you confidence with Mieke. I certainly hope this can help resolve things for you in the long run. You are brave and you are strong. I believe you will perservere. Big Hug. :)
farmerC
Mies het is een Schoonheid.
beachsidelegs
WOW Absolutely Stunning my friend :)
iborg64
A really stunning image
kgb224
All the best for you Mies. May you get better end recuperate fully Mies. Outstanding work. God bless.
Richardphotos
very creative post work
auntietk
I think if you are strong enough to have lived with pain for so long, and have had the strength for suppression for so long, you will have the strength to work through trauma without folding. I have a friend who describes suppression as something like being in a swimming pool with several beach balls and trying to hold all the beach balls under the water. You can do it for a while, but eventually you will lose your grip on one of them, and they'll all start to pop back up to the surface. Life is so much easier when you don't have to worry about all those things that you are holding down below the surface of your conscious mind. I believe you can do this, and that you will be successful! You are a strong and brave and loving woman, and I have faith in your good heart. May your inner journey be one of discovery and healing. I think you are much like this picture, dear friend. You have dark and bright parts within you, but overall, your soul sparkles like the stars.
VDH
Mooi en origineel werk !
photosynthesis
Beautiful & unique work. Good luck with your life challenges. I still have to deal with daily nerve pain from surgery I had six years ago & I know it can be frustrating & debilitating. I've found that maintaining a healthy level of mental, physical & social activity, along with getting enough rest, seems to work best for me,
g1tip
Beautiful !!!
mininessie
get well soon...and wow! love this image gives me good feelings!
anahata.c
I thought I'd reply to this in my reply to your letter...but I haven't written many letters in the last 2 months, because I've been so tired (and my letters sound like babbling, half the time). (I'll write back when I step away from RR again.) But I do understand what you've written about, here. It's exhausting to carry pain, even if it's conscious; it's harder to carry it if it's unconscious. The pain of the past is a huge 'presence' inside of us; and it's like walking through life, every day, with 30 heavy suitcases. You always have them, and you don't always think about them; but, one day, when you put them down, you suddenly realize how many burdens you've carried all your life. And, when your past is intense, it's an even greater burden. Therapy is wonderful, but it also brings up a lot of pain. I know that from the times I was in therapy. One has to live through that pain, while one gets rid of it. I'm not surprised your very tired these days. And your injuries don't make it any better.
(I was actually surprised that you commented on some of my writing, in my gallery: I never expect you to, but the fact that you did shows that you must have gotten some extra energy. My writing isn't easy-reading, and you're reading in a 2d or 3d or 4th language. I greatly appreciated that. But I know you're exhausted, and I don't expect it, believe me.) (Re whether English is your 2d language: I assume Deutsch comes way before English, in your experience. It certainly has more in common with Dutch than with English.) (Engels?)
But, as you see, your supporters here have great love for you and what you share, and they understand your on-and-off appearances here, entirely. (As do I.) I just wish you great healing, and the slow emergence into bathing light. Not that you don't have bathing light inside you---you do, in great quantity. But the wish is that you feel it around you, and everywhere. I wish for that deeply. I'm sorry it's been such a long struggle for you.
Your image is a big cosmic flower, bursting in the night, like fireworks. And you have lots of tiny lights everywhere too---like a million stars. If I looked out my window and I saw this, I'd feel really blessed by it---even though I'd be frightened that there was a 90,000,000 ton flower out my window, lol. But your art---even when it has darkness---always has great light. Which means that you find light in all things. A beautiful, big and dazzling version of a poppy. Quite stunning, Jacomina.