a little backstory. my mother and i had been estranged for a decade at this point. when i was 15 we had moved 500 miles away from home. I wanted to visit my father and she had threatened that if i left to visit with him to no come back. i was a teenager at that time and didnt deal well with ultimatums. i was 16 when this went down, 4 times a year for 5 years i would try to talk to her and she would claim she didnt have a son. so i stopped trying. on december 15th, 2012, i received a call from her and we talked for 6 hours at least, we buried the past, forgave each other and made plans. I was to visit in march of 2013. we had finally buried the past, things were good. on january 8th, at 550 am. i get a knock, it was a police officer, He handed me a sticky note with a number and said that the police department, in the town my mother lived in, had been trying to contact me. I had this feeling of dread, i knew before i called something had happened. i made the call. i was told my other had died in her apartment. it turned out to be a heart attack. she had a complete blockage which caused her heart to stop all of a sudden, it was instant. those plans, burned to dust. I took time off work, and went up north, 500 miles away to plan the funeral. after the funeral, it was 45 degrees, little bit cold, it started to rain, everyone had left except for me. and i stood out in the rain, with my head down and thought about that wasted decade. dont waste time folks. you never know how much of it you have left. I miss you, mom.