The Rockgod by SeanMartin
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Description
So we had this band since, I dunno, the early 90s, I guess. And we were pretty lucky: performing in small clubs until one night a producer from LA caught us, decided he liked what he heard, and signed us the next morning. Our first album went gold within two weeks; our second, before it ever hit the record stores. We toured a lot, and the crowds... man, they just frigging loved us. You didn't go to hear our songs. You went to scream and yell, and they loved us and we loved them.
So we're on the road in, I dunno, Portland, I think. And at the end of one song, I blurted out, "Pan Am makes the going great! Thank you!" Just as a joke, man. But our manager heard it, and before long, I'd be punctuating every song with "It's fire grilled!" and "I'm lovin' it!" Sponsors flocked to us, for just a two-second mention. And I'm thinking, hell, folks can't hear any of it anyway. I could sing the damn phone book and no one would know.
So I did.
I'm in the middle of our big hit, just about ready to punch in with "Built Ford Tough!" when instead I yelled "Sam Acrobie, 555-4328!" The crowd yelled even more. So that night I sat down and rewrote the lyrics to all of our songs, reduced them to just random names and phone numbers. The next night, I literally sang the phone book.
And no one noticed a damn thing.
They were so busy screaming and yelling that no one cared that I was just yelling out names and seven-digit numbers. So I decided to press it a little further. The next night, instead of singing anything at all, I just let Johnny do a 90-minute guitar riff while I yelled "YEAH!" and 'WOO-HOO!" We walked off the stage to the biggest ovation we ever got for not playing a single song.
So now, I don't even bother with lyrics. I stand there and shout whatever word comes to mind while Johnny fires that axe. And I'm expanding things a bit by doing ballads now. But even then, it's three minutes of humming, followed at the end by "Mmmm mmmmmm.... mmmmmmmmmmmmm..... Joanne." Lights fade, and the crowd goes completely nuts.
Damn, I love this business.
Comments (2)
giulband
I find it hard to fully understand your texts, I lack references, so I focus on the images, which I always find very well made and imbued with your exclusive style that is always refined and elegant.
perpetualrevision
Poor musicians! Or rather, poor musicians who actually care about sharing meaningful stories with their fans, if all their fans want is loudness and some rocker types strutting across the stage to scream for!