Baestar's Treasure by Wolfenshire
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Description
Special Notes: This is just a teaser of the story I'm working on.
The boys each stood behind a chair in the great dining room, waiting. The table before them was laden with rich island foods of seasoned fish wrapped in salted kelp, papaya, pineapple, and accompanied with warm banana bread. The scent of the food rose from the table in a delectable temptation, but a temptation the boys would not succumb. Every boy at the table had tempted fate at least once, and father had always known no matter how small the portion taken had been. The boys waited for what seemed a torturous time until at last a man dressed in the stately garments of the Minor House of Tares entered the room.
"Good evening, Father," the boys canted together.
The man's eyes fell on the one empty chair at the table. "And where is Baestar?"
The eldest boy, and nearly as tall as the man, spoke: "He's out on that old tug, Father."
"He's searching for treasure," a smaller boy added.
"It's a waste of time, Father," said the eldest boy. "He should be at the Academy like the rest of us."
The man pulled his chair out, nodded at the boys, and the group sat. "Would you make him in your image?" asked the man.
"I would make him a functioning member of our family," argued the eldest son. "We're a Minor House, we can't afford such frivolous pastimes as treasure hunting."
The man raised a brow and smiled at his eldest. The boy was intelligent and would lead the House one day, but he lacked imagination. "Wasn't it only six months ago Baestar found the wreck of the Mortana, and sold his find to pay for the refit of our failing barge? Leave Baestar alone, he's brought more income into the House this year than all of us put together."
"That was nothing but luck, Father,"
"And a bit of luck is what we need."
"Father, are you aware of what he's searching for, everyone is laughing at our family."
"Leave him be, that's my last word on this matter."
"Yes, Father."
Comments (16)
UteBigSmile
Great Story and very beautiful looking related Image! Take care and stay safe...
giulband
Your story is very interesting and the image as well as being beautiful seems to me very well representative of the idea that I made reading the text.
OkrimSlava
very well.
uncollared
Fantastic work
ontar1
Interesting, great scene!
eekdog
Looks to be a great new story series. Take care plz.
jendellas
Nice one. I was lost in the banana bread!!!!
buffalosoldier
stunning scene
VDH
Very original !!
RodS
Great artwork, and a tantalizing teaser for your latest story. 👍
donnena
cool image!
rhol_figament
All depends on the treasure, might be riches, might be a curse...
anahata.c
even in a fragment, you have the mind and heart of a complex storyteller---in a short passage, you've intimated a large backstory, the mysteries of a search (Baestar's search, out on a sea somewhere in the human cosmos), the conflicts between members of a family, the obeisance to at least one of them (to the father, for sure, though there are hints that a few others have authority too), a community in which at least one or two are away (Baestar) which creates tensions, and so on. I'm compelled by it already...I've also noticed your way with terms/names...they have a mix of latinate and other cultures as well. Enticing, I think because they're partly recognizable, but at the same time exotic. And you always have some conflicts at the start, often with a 'maverick'-like figure who's out of the group, but may be the one to save the group in the end. (Of Baestar: "He should be at the Academy like the rest of us." That's really like you, in the beginning. Conflict, and yet we're drawn in to Baestar, who we believe---at the very beginning---is engaging in something larger than all of them.) It strikes me how much ancient themes fill your writing: You dig into that collective unconscious place that we all share, so that your tales have a timeless underpinning like the folklores and epics of the world. Also, "Everyone is laughing at our family"---you navigate the waters of conflict with great ease, and often from the start. In short, you're a natural story teller, and this little fragment has given us a smattering of tastes from a grand, global meal to come. I wish you all the best with it. I have a feeling it will flower into something global, poignant, of a large and rich tapestry, and laced with your usual humor and compassion.
The image: I really like it---it's not clear where he is (I assume that's Baestar), but we see rocks and water and night; it's primal and mysterious, as many of your first settings are. I love the rust and bronze tones, also the feel of that boat back there. You know, I haven't given as much attention to your visuals as I have your writing; but you have a genuine visual sense, and I'm continually impressed at how you create images to suit your writing. I'm so exhausted after writing a piece, the idea of making an image is almost nauseating to me. (Like: "An image too? You've GOT to be kidding!") Yet you've been doing this for an age, so kudos for doing it so well.
Radar_rad-dude
Oh no, Wolf! You have hooked me again this this tender tidbit! Now I can't wait for the substance of this delicious looking meal! A wonderful art piece too! Very well done, my friend!
bakapo
Ooooh, what is Baestar searching for? Intriguing! Cool image with the boat and rocks.
STEVIEUKWONDER
I'm just totally absorbed in the moment of this intriguing story! Beautiful work!