He knew apples were evil. The Bible told him so. So he spent his entire life in protest of apples. As a child, he refused any sort of apple dish. Applesauce, apple pie, apple flavoured hard candies... none would ever pass his lips. His parents would cajole, then threaten, then finally gave up in defeat. They took him to a doctor: perhaps it was an allergy? No, the doctor replied. He simply doesnt like apples. Like? He loathed them. Apples were evil: why couldnt they see something so obvious? But even worse: apples were insidious. They forced themselves onto society. "Leave an apple on the teacher's desk!" "Motherhood, apple pie, and the flag!" It was infuriating how blind everyone was to this apple threat. Why couldnt they see it? In college, he stood in silent protest outside the cafeteria. His fellow students were first amused, joining him in what he knew was mock-solidarity... then, when they tired of the joke, they left him, their amusement now jaded hostility. But he was right. They were wrong. All he had to do was make them see! He left school before finishing his degree. He knew he had to: his mission in life was already set — he couldnt afford to waste any more time. He drove his cheap van from town to town, imploring the citizenry to listen to him, to heed his words of concern for their health and well-being. None did. He spent many a night in jail. But this only pushed him harder: by age 30, he'd written over 40 pamphlets and books on the evil of apples, printing them himself on an old mimeograph machine. He sold enough to pay for gas to drive from town to town, spreading the word as he knew he must, saving the world as he knew he had to, no matter how much it took. Two decades later, he was broke, homeless, his only possessions the clothes on his back, the tattered sign he carried, and his unswerving faith that he was still right in his beliefs. He had to be, he told himself. He just had to be... Then one night a passing stranger saw this pitiful man and offered to buy him dinner. His hunger overruled his pride: he devoured the plate put before him. Over dinner, he and the stranger talked... about his belief, his mission, his only purpose in life. The stranger laughed. "But it's just an apple. There's no threat to an apple. You might as well say that bananas are evil... or pinto beans." "But the Bible — !" "It's a symbol of temptation, nothing more. Come on, think about it!" He did. And suddenly his faith wavered. Could it possibly be true? "Look," the stranger continued, "the only way you're going to know for sure is to just take a bite of one. Small bite, nothing more. And then you'll see: there's nothing gonna harm you." Before he could stop him, the stranger called the waiter over and asked for a plate of apple slices as dessert. Within minutes, the dreaded thing was there, in front of him. The stranger picked up one. "Okay, here. Take this. Have a bite." He gingerly took it in his fingers. It was small and crisp and smelled of his childhood. Maybe it isnt as terrible as I thought? Steeling himself, he bit off a piece and waited... Nothing happened. He cautiously chewed, then swallowed. Still nothing. The stranger smiled. "You see?" He did. In a rush of sudden realization he knew: his whole life had been a waste, a foolish, foolish waste. He masked his sudden shame with a small smile. "You're right." "You see? Sometimes you just have to confront those fears." The stranger looked at his watch. "Okay, I gotta run. You stay as long as you want; I'll leave the bill open if you want anything else." "No. I'm good. Thank you," he said, as humbly as he knew how. He picked up the remaining slice of apple. "May I — ?" "Of course!" "Thank you." He got up, shook the man's hand, and left. He stood outside, in a side alley, staring at the piece of apple in his hand. How could I have gotten this so incredibly wrong? he sighed. My entire life... He left the thought dangling as he popped the final piece of apple in his mouth. It lodged in his throat and refused to move, and within moments he was on the ground thrashing, desperate to breath. He pounded his fists on the asphalt, threw himself bodily against the brick wall... but it refused to move. Ten minutes later, he was dead. The following day, the Food Network announced a week-long celebration of the Apple, with recipes from internationally renowned chefs from around the world. It was their highest-viewed series ever.