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Paper Tigers

Writers Science Fiction posted on Jul 23, 2021
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Description


Chapter 3

Luca stared out the window of the floatplane at the forested wetlands below. People were starting to call the northwest region, the land of ten thousand lakes. The forest of white spruce, birch, aspen, and tamarack stretched between the lakes and mountains for as far as the eye could see. The towns below were built between the endless lakes and rivers created from glacier runoff further north. Luca wondered how they were ever going to get everyone back on the new RS-40 once it was complete. This was a bountiful and blessed land of endless resources; they could live here forever. The pilot gestured at a lake ahead. “There it is, Elk Lake.” The town was built four years ago during the mad building rush to find a place to put the 25 million refugees of the RS-40 fire. The original cabins were built along the west side of the lake, but Luca could see new cabins and proper houses were being constructed further to the east. The only thing that marred the beauty of the crystal clear lake was the quartz mine to the south. The mine was a blight on the land, but necessary. Quartz was a key component to making computer chips, and the sheer volume of how many the new RS-40 needed was staggering. He could see barges moving piles of the white quartz along the lake to the processing plant further south. Luca clutched a leather satchel briefcase to his chest. A labor dispute had risen and he had to solve it. He’d gone with Uncle Margus on four other of these kinds of missions and watched how it was done, but now he was on his own. He turned around to check on Mr. Buckles in the backseat of the floatplane; the large sentient robotic wolf was sitting up and also watching outside. “You’ll do fine,” Mr. Buckles whispered into Luca’s mind. Sometimes Luca couldn’t tell where his mind ended and Mr. Buckles began, but that was the way it was intended. The Aeden were mentally linked to an A.I. before they were even born, and remained together for life. Jack was the exception to the rule, he often disconnected from his A.I. The plane banked around to line-up with the lake and began descending to the clear surface. Luca twisted in his seat to watch the spray of water from the pontoons as they touched the lake. This was one of his favorite parts of the flight, it was like he was in a boat. The plane slowed and the pilot maneuvered into a dock slip. A man was waiting on the dock and quickly tied the plane off to a dock cleat, then stepped onto the pontoon and opened the door. Luca stepped out of the plane and jumped onto the dock. The man didn’t open Mr. Buckles’ door. “Mr. Buckles has to get out,” said Luca. “I was told the wolf stays in the plane,” replied the man. “He might have diseases, or be dangerous and attack someone.” “He doesn’t have diseases.” Luca tried to go around the man, but the man reached out and grabbed Luca’s arm. Luca stared at the man in shock – and then the pilot was there and grabbed the man by the wrist and twisted until the man let go, then pushed him away. The pilot was a Fleet Special Forces Master Sergeant, and one of Luca’s bodyguards. Luca stepped onto the pontoon and opened the door. Mr. Buckles jumped out onto the dock and growled. Luca put a hand on Mr. Buckles to restrain him from attacking the man. “Who told you not to let Mr. Buckles out of the plane?” asked Luca. The man’s eyes were wild with anger and foolishly took a swing at the plain-clothed Master Sergeant. Master Sergeant Duncan side-stepped the attack and used the man’s momentum to throw him into the lake. Duncan gestured for Luca to leave. “Go to the meeting, the rest of the team is already here in over-watch. I need to make sure this idiot doesn’t sabotage the plane.” Luca nodded. “Don’t kill him.” “I’ll refrain from lethal force,” said Duncan. Luca turned away and headed for the dock entrance with Mr. Buckles leading. An older boy was waiting on shore at the gate. Mr. Buckles approached the boy, and then the boy dropped down to his knees and threw his arms around the big wolf. “It is good to see you again,” said Mr. Buckles. “How is your sister?” “She’s doing well,” replied the boy. Luca smiled. “I know you! You’re Saku’te, the boy with the sprained ankle during the missile attack.” Saku’te let go of Mr. Buckles. “I didn’t get a chance to thank you back then. You left so quickly after you dropped us off at the aid station.” “I was a little busy, sorry,” replied Luca. The boy stood and held his hand out. “My friends call me Sak. I don’t remember much from that day, except my ankle really hurt, but I’ll never forget Mr. Buckles laying on top of us and saying he’d protect us, and he did.” “Yeah, Mr. Buckles is the best,” said Luca shaking Sak’s hand. “It’s not safe for you here,” said Sak. “There’s some guys that have been watching the docks and trying to blend in, but everyone knows everyone, so they aren’t doing a very good job of blending. We were pretty sure they’ve been waiting to ambush you.” “Big guys, tough looking, with a tattoos of wolves and dolphins on their arms?” asked Luca. “Yeah! How’d you know?” asked Sak. “They’re mine,” said Luca. “Oh wow, you have your own Secret Agents? That’s awesome, but it’s still not safe.” Sak paused and glanced around as if he expected someone to jump out of the bushes at any moment. “There’s people that don’t want you here.” “It’s going to be fine, I promise,” said Luca. “Let’s get to the meeting, I’m on a schedule.” Sak led the way and Luca followed. Mr. Buckles walked next to Luca. “You’re taller now,” said Sak. “I’ll be twelve tomorrow,” replied Luca. “Oh, Happy Birthday. Gosh, I wish I knew, I would have got you a present,” said Sak. “I don’t need anything. There’s so many presents waiting in the lodge back home I’ll need help opening them all.” Sak retrieved a bike with a basket on the front that had been leaning against the wooden fence separating the docks from the dirt road that ran beside it. “Come on, I’ll show you where the meeting is, do you know how to ride pegs?” “I don’t even know what that means,” said Luca. “Here, like this.” Sak took Luca’s satchel briefcase and put it in the basket, then straddled the bike with one foot on a pedal. “Okay, see those pegs sticking out of the back tire hub, stand on those and hold on to me.” Luca put a foot on one peg, and then the other until he was balanced on the back pegs and holding onto Sak’s shoulders. Mr. Buckles cocked his head to the side trying to figure out what the boys were doing. Sak pushed off until the bike was bouncing along the dirt road. Mr. Buckles chased alongside barking. “Oh my gosh, this is awesome!” shouted Luca. “We don’t go out alone anymore, it’s not safe, so this is how we go in teams,” said Sak. “Is that part of the paperboy labor dispute?” asked Luca. Sak sat on the seat and kept pumping the pedals. “Yeah, someone will tell you at the meeting.” “You tell me,” replied Luca. “The law says we’re supposed to get fifteen cents per paper we deliver, but Mr. Banner only pays us five cents. And we’re only supposed to deliver within the city limits, but Mr. Banner makes us deliver to ranches as far away as fifteen miles. William told him it wasn’t safe, but Mr. Banner made him go anyway and William was mauled by a bear. They airlifted him to a hospital somewhere, but we don’t know if he’s okay, they won’t tell us.” “I know about William,” said Luca. “They took him to the RS-72 hospital. He’s gone through two surgeries so far and still has at least three more to go… but… I’m sorry, he lost his left arm.” Luca felt Sak’s shoulders slump. The boy turned his head and looked at Luca from the corner of his eye. “At least he’s alive, I guess. This will destroy his family, how are they supposed to pay for all those surgeries? You see now why we went on strike?” “I’ve authorized funds from the RS-40’s medical relief fund to pay for everything,” said Luca. “Really? Oh, thank you, that’s going to help his family a lot.” “We might even be able to replace William’s arm,” said Luca. “Because of Mr. Buckles, we’ve been researching replacement robotic limbs. We’re going to ask his parents if they will let William receive the first experimental robotic replacement limb.” “That’s great news!” Sak exclaimed. “Is there anything else?” asked Luca. “I hate to sound like we’re complaining too much,” said Sak. “Tell me,” said Luca. “Mr. Banner has us starting work at 3 a.m., but the law says we’re not supposed to start before 6 a.m. Most of us are starting to fail school because we can’t stay awake in class.” “I see, so you’re not really asking for anything extra,” said Luca. “You just want the pay that you’re supposed to get by law, safe working conditions, and the correct working hours.” “Yeah, I guess,” said Sak. “We don’t want to strike, we need the money to help our families.” “Okay, agreed on all points.” Luca slapped Sak on the shoulder as if he were pounding a gavel to make the decision final. “You will get your back pay for the last four years, plus time and a half for the extra working hours you didn’t get paid for. It comes out to 56,000 per courier. The finance office will have your checks cut by the end of the day.” The handlebars on the bicycle started wobbling. Luca jumped gracefully off and caught Sak before he could fall. Sak stared at Luca with his mouth open and his eyes just about as wide as they could get. “Are you serious?” Luca grinned. “And I’m assigning a work monitor to this town to make sure you are not sent outside the city limits again, or work unauthorized hours. Is there anything else?” asked Luca. Sak shook his head. “Mr. Banner will never agree to any of that.” “I guess I’ll need to convince him,” replied Luca. “Is that the meeting place, where all those kids are waiting outside?” “You don’t understand how powerful Mr. Banner is in this town,” argued Sak. “No worries, I got this,” said Luca as he headed toward the crowd of newspaper couriers. “Is that a pizza restaurant?” Sak picked his bike up and hurried after Luca. “Yeah, Mr. Banner wouldn’t let us use City Hall, so we had to reserve the Pizza Parlor.” “I’ve never had pizza, I heard it’s the best kind of food,” said Luca. “I wonder if I can get a pizza to take with me.” “Do you ever get to be just a kid?” asked Sak. “No, I’m the Chief of the Boat, I don’t have time to play.” “Dude, you’re going to crack under that kind of pressure.” Luca sighed and glanced at Sak. “Were you desperate for me to come here and solve this problem?” “Well, yeah, I guess.” “Exactly. Other people have problems that need solved too, and the longer it takes me to get to them, the longer they suffer under their problem. I don’t have time to play, or get pizza, or anything.” “You need a Staff or something to help you.” “I’ll think about it.” The kids waiting outside the Pizza Parlor stood as Luca approached. Luca shook hands with everyone in the group, but many of them just wanted to pet Mr. Buckles. Luca walked up the steps to a covered porch where people could eat outside. The door made a pleasant jingle sound as he opened it and went inside. There was a long table in the center of the dining room, and the most delightful warm scent of cooking pizza in the air. Luca was fairly certain it was the best thing he'd ever smelled. His stomach rumbled. “You’re late, Mr. Aestar." Luca tipped his head slightly at the man sitting on the other side of the table. “Mr. Banner, I presume? The word you’re looking for is Chief.” The man leaned forward and slammed a fist on the table. “All the stratocracy has done is replace one type of royalty with another. You are nothing more than the stratocracy's mindless little princeling errand boy, and I’m not playing games with a snot-nosed brat. This is my town, and I don’t take orders from anyone. This strike is over today, and those involved will be punished.” Mr. Banner raised his hands and smiled. “But I’m not a cruel man, Mr. Aestar. You were sent here to cut your teeth on this ridiculous labor strike, so I’m going to let you run back to your Uncle Margus with a win. I’ll raise their salaries from five cents per delivery to ten cents, but that’s all their getting. We’re done here now, you need to leave, while you still can.” Luca raised his arms and brought them down with all the strength his bio-mechanical augments were capable. The table shattered in half. Luca grabbed the two halves and shoved them so hard they crashed against the far walls. Mr. Banner scrambled to his feet and reached for the sidearm at his waist. Luca willed himself into a state of molecular acceleration and stepped up to the man. Luca took the gun out of its holster before the man’s hand could even touch the grip of the pistol. Luca stepped back and returned to a normal molecular state. Luca held the gun out to his side between his finger and thumb. A man with a tattoo of a dolphin on his wrist got up from a booth and hurried over to Luca and took the gun. “I really hate guns, Mr. Banner,” said Luca. “Personally, I refuse to carry one.” Luca glanced at the man that had taken the gun. “Sergeant, arrest Mr. Banner, please.” “Aye, Chief,” said the man. “Mr. Banner, you’re under arrest.” Mr. Banner turned to run, and ran into two men with tattoos of a wolf on their forearms. The two men grabbed Mr. Banner and spun him back around to face Luca. “Mr. Banner, I’ve had Finance investigate your accounts, and there’s enough charges of embezzlement, fraud, theft, and money laundering to put you in prison for a very long time, and who knows what else we’ll find when we start shaking the tree.” “You have no idea what you’re doing,” Mr. Banner practically spit the words. “You won’t be able to make any of those charges stick.” Luca continued. “We’ve also arrested your brother, Sheriff Banner, and your son and eight cousins involved in your little crime syndicate ten minutes ago.” Luca paused for effect and smiled. “Now, I’m not a cruel boy, Mr. Banner, so I’ll let you take away a win with all this. I’m going to give you three choices. First is exile to a deserted island where you’ll have a wonderful view of the Fleet launching away in fifteen years. Second is to try and fight the charges, but then, Captain Dagas will be the judge, so not sure how that will work out for you. And third, my brother is leading an off-world expedition that will last up to a year. He needs some expert miners to dig up anti-matter devices from three landfills. If you recover all three, you’ll receive a Captains Pardon.” Mr. Banner glared at Luca. “I’ll take my chance in court, I’ve got very good attorneys.” “Okay, sounds great, but not sure those attorneys will stick around when they find out you don’t have any money. I had your accounts, properties, and holdings seized. They’ll be liquidated and put into a trust fund to take care of the boy you caused to be injured and lose an arm. Okay, good luck. I gotta go, I’m on a schedule.” Luca turned around and walked to the door. “Last chance.” Mr. Banner only stared with a cocky half grin, but didn’t change his mind. Luca walked out the door onto the porch where people ate, expecting Mr. Banner to call out to him that he changed his mind, but he didn’t. “Was that your plan?” asked Sak. “You take away all his money so he can’t defend himself and he takes one of the other plea deals? Dude, you really need a Staff, you can’t do this all by yourself. I’ve been watching you, you’re exhausted.” Luca sat down at one of the tables and put his head in his hands. “I bankrupted him, he should have caved.” “How much money did you find?” asked Sak. “About ten million,” Luca mumbled. It was true, he was tired and must have made a mistake somewhere. Sak shook his head. “That’s decoy money to throw you off the trail of his real money. He’s worth a hundred times more than ten million.” Luca looked up. “How do you know?” “The reason they make us start work at 3 a.m. is to proof read the newspaper. We get a nickel for every error we find, but we’re the last to proof read, so we’re lucky to make fifty cents for the bother. Then the paper goes to print at 4 a.m., and we’re on the road by 5 a.m.” Luca shrugged. “And?” “One morning, the editor had accidently set all the paychecks down in my cubicle, so I thought I was supposed to proof read them. I did, and found a mistake on all of them. I got excited because I thought I’d just made a fortune with seventy-five mistakes. Heck, that was 3.75 in extra pay, and for us that’s a lot of money. So, I showed the editor, but he said I wasn’t supposed to have proof read them, but he still gave me the 3.75., and that made me curious, because he’s as stingy as they come.” Luca pursed his lips and laughed. “I’m smart, but you’ve got me stumped? I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Sak laughed. “Yeah, we know, that’s what made us think you might be a match for Mr. Banner, but he fooled you too. Don’t feel bad, that man is an evil genius.” Sak turned to the other kids. “Hey, has anyone not cashed their check yet?” “I haven’t,” said one of the girls. “Let me see it,” said Sak. Luca leaned in and looked at the paycheck. “What am I looking for?” “You see this number?” Sak pointed. “Yeah, that’s the block-chain number,” said Luca. “We have a global economy.” “Yep, and do you know what these numbers right here are for?” Luca frowned. “That identifies the RS ship the money is drawn from, but that says 77, and we don’t have an RS-77.” “No we don’t, and so the computer doesn’t even look for it, it’s a ghost ship. Money flows from the block on this side, through the RS-77, and out to the next block, but never sees the money being siphoned away while it’s in the RS-77 ghost ship.” “But the audit would have found that,” said Luca. “He only siphons money on local payroll,” explained Sak. “Then when we cash our checks, he destroys the hard copy and now the computer only sees the total payroll, not what was stolen, because they’re not looking for the RS-77 ghost ship. And the worst that happens is he gets a small fine for not keeping the cashed hardcopy on file.” “How do you know all this?” asked Luca. “I’m a paperboy, and they’re used to seeing us walking around the building, but at three in the morning there isn’t a lot of people around, so sneaking into the records room and doing a little reading isn’t very hard.” Luca retrieved his phone from a pocket and made a call. He got up and walked out to the parking lot while he spoke with Captain Dagas. It only took fifteen minutes before Luca hung up and returned and went inside. The two Special Forces men had Mr. Banner sitting in a chair waiting, and the smug expression had only grown. “Ah, you’re back. Did you finally realize your bluff didn’t work? You’re in way over your head,” said Mr. Banner. “Let me go right now and I won’t press charges.” Luca put his hands on his hips and glared at the man. “We found the RS-77 ghost ship, all banks have been frozen while the audit is underway. The initial estimate is 2.2 billion in stolen funds. We don’t know the guilty parties yet, but we will by the end of the day. I don’t want to send a good and decent miner into an anti-matter pit, I’d rather send a scumbag like you, but if you’re not off-world before the audit comes back and the arrests begin, you’ll spend the rest of your life in a dark little cage.” Mr. Banner stood. “I’ll take the plea deal for the pardon.” Luca shook his head. “That deal is off the table, Mr. Banner. The only deal now is if you find the anti-matter devices, Jack will send you through the Gate to an uninhabited world.” “No, I want the pardon.” “How long do you think you’ll live when you get back and your partners find out you copped a plea deal for a pardon? You know some of them will slip through our net, they always do, and they’ll come for you.” Mr. Banner smiled. “And how long before they come for you?” Luca rolled his eyes. “I’ve been hunted by Sherata tigers and faced Eroden Battle Drones when I was seven years old, there is nothing about you and people like you that scares me. Are you taking the deal or not?” Mr. Banner’s eyes turned even colder with new hate. “I’ll take the deal.” “Sergeant, take Mr. Banner and the others to the shipyard, preferably in chains.” “Aye, Chief.” Luca turned around and walked back outside where Sak was waiting. “It’s over, and you’re right, I can’t do this alone.” “You were like the ice man, seriously,” said Sak. “I would have wet myself trying to face that guy down, but you should have had an earpiece and a whole staff of people listening and feeding you info, at least until you’re as good as Chief Dagas was… or is… you know what I mean.” “Where do I find a staff from?” asked Luca. Sak waved his arm. “Look around you, we don’t want to be paper couriers forever, but this town is a dead end for us. And we’re used to working long hours, and we’re street smart, you really need that, and we’ll be loyal. There isn’t a kid here that you didn’t save from burning to death on the RS-40, we’d follow you into hell.” Luca scrunched his face up. “That’s a little creepy, how about instead of letting me walk into hell, you stop me?” Sak grinned. “Deal.” “Okay, I’ll send a plane in three days, any of you over sixteen that want a job, be on it. And for the younger kids, when you turn sixteen, you have a guaranteed job in my office. Now how do I get one of those pizzas?”

Comments (10)


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STEVIEUKWONDER

4:49PM | Fri, 23 July 2021

You have so much to give as a very fine wordsmith. Your "Cover" work is off the charts!

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Radar_rad-dude

8:06PM | Fri, 23 July 2021

OMG! What a read! Luca, you rock! Big time!!!!!!!!

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bakapo

11:26PM | Fri, 23 July 2021

Luca gets things done!

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eekdog Online Now!

11:28AM | Sat, 24 July 2021

your writing talents are so amazing.i also enjoy the covers.

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RedPhantom

11:54AM | Sat, 24 July 2021

I love it when the good guy is underestimated and the bad guy finds out the hard way. Great chapter

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miwi

2:19PM | Sat, 24 July 2021

I agree : You have so much to give as a very fine wordsmith. Your "Cover" work is off the charts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you ever got it out as a book, I would be your first buyer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! again 5*

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RodS

12:50PM | Sun, 25 July 2021

Can we possibly get Luca to visit us for a few days? We have a serious problem with our own version of "Mr. Banner" and his little band of loonies that someone needs to make go away. Forever.

I had to smile the whole way through this chapter, Sir Wolf. Brilliant!

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jendellas

1:23PM | Sun, 25 July 2021

Luca, we all need one. As for Mr. Buckle having diseases!!!!!

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JoeJarrah

5:55PM | Sun, 25 July 2021

mmmm. Pizza.

Great chapter, a pleasure as always

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anahata.c

9:11PM | Thu, 29 July 2021

Ok, here comes another marathon comment. I apologize for not commenting in a while, I'm just so slow at reading (you should see how slow I am at writing), and I needed to have a couple of hours to digest 3 or 4 chapters, and then give them the justice that your writing deserves, both in reading and then writing. Believe me, not commenting until now weighed on me through the last month or two, I actually had a nightmare about it (no s___!), and I hope this comment will prove that I take your writing very seriously. (I see that I'm commenting on the 3d chapter of this new book, but I'm commenting on all four so far, incl the one after this...I'll just continue here rather than copy/paste etc.)

One more thing: I didn't read many of the final chapters of the first book, so I am out of touch with a number of the details and characters here. I'm sorry if my comments leave out some prime details! But you wanted me to do the most recent work, so I decided to start with the beg of this new (and equally rich, human, poignant, dramatic, etc etc) work, knowing it's a continuation of the book before it.

That being understood, you open with another mysterious, tantalizing description of a strange new place. Maybe not new to whoever completed Bk I, but new to me. (Your description of mystery and darkness of this chamber reminds me of the opening of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Autumn of the Patriarch, where he writes things like ((bear with a quote)), "...It was like entering the atmosphere of another age, because the air was thinner...and the silence was more ancient, and things were hard to see in the decrepit light...." Or, "there was scarcely an odorless chink in that atmosphere of roses which mingled with the stench that came to us from the rear of the garden and the stink of the henhouse and the smell of dung and fermented urine from the cows and soldiers of the colonial basilica that had been converted into a milking barn..." (the original may use more commas! It's a translation, keep in mind, though he's a great translator...) You really set us in a world of mysteries in your opening paragraphs. But, your sense of place throughout your pieces always draws me in and makes me want to jump into that place with your characters, then and there. And pierce the mystery of these places. (Such places were plentiful in Bk I: I read several chapters I didn't wind up commenting on, as I just never got around to putting them into words. But I love everything I read here.) Flashing light on the "ancient" computers is a wonderful moment too. My specifics here are just representative.

Love Aya. I don't remember her from the last book, but I love her and her Southern Belle impersonations. And humor. And prodding him like a lover. And phrases like, "ain't you just like whiskey in a teacup," or, "madder than a wet hen on sunday..." great stuff, Bob! (Gotta admit, I have no CLUE what "madder than a wet hen on Sunday" means, lol, but I love how it sounds. I'm a city boy, I haven't had a lotta quality time with hens...) Love the whole thing with honey buns too---I think that was it, or sugar bunny, something like that. Ie, where Jack says she's gone too far, and Bowan calls him the same name. (I took notes, but I forgot to write this one down...) Great dialogue. Humor with dead-serious storyline. Setting up tensions and humor from the start.

And Bowan shows his humor as well, which Jack senses as a good thing. (Doesn't B say, to jack something like, "I don't want anyone to call me sugar buns...that would be really weird..." Right? Something like that? It was a great line, whatever it was. The subordinate gently saying "please don't do that".) Even little things like "don't call me sir," answered with, "yes sir!" These are to be expected from you, as you've been doing dialogue mixed with dead-serious and humorous for some time. It's one of the truly endearing underpinnings of your writing.

I love your endings too.."let's get the heck off this planet..." (end of first chapter): You know, I've noticed you keep your writing very clean, four-letter-word-wise: I must look like a fanged boar compared to you: I rarely get through a paragraph without several f-bombs. Yet you still get the spirit of salty language, without using those words...you keep it "G" rated. Kudos...that's outa my league...I can't let go of those words for the life of me...

Then the details like a door that shouldn't be opened, the land where the prisoners will be sent (it feels like a black hole), along with Banner, the anti-matter devices, etc. Your tales have quests...and I still can't get over that you have these heros who are immensely mature, but still very boy-ish (and girl-ish): You never lose the inner child in your heroes. I can't get over how organically it works, in your work. Jack is a great character in part because he has the best of adulthood and childhood in one person.

The chapter where Luca takes over is a wipe-the-floor-with-the-a-hole-criminal scene. Triumphal. I think rod commented he wished you could send Luca to him. Well, send him my way when Rod's done...He's complex: He seems a bit unwilling, a hero who doesn't want to be known as a hero, he doesn't want pizza but asks for it in the end (another great chptr ending), and who nevertheless stands up to Banner as no one else does. He wipes the floor with the guy---but being astute to conflict and drama, you keep banner is defiant as ever. That is, you don't let down the tensions even when you've resolved them. This pulls us in, installment after installment. (I look back at how Dickens did serialized novels---I haven't read him in eons---and I remember wondering, how in hell does one keep the thread going over so many weeks of installments? You keep the thread going in part by never letting a resolved situation be free of new conflict or question. It keeps us coming back.)

I also love that the big confrontation takes place with a pizza place---which you describe with sweet details like the door clanging when opened, etc. You also have very sweet description when Jack et al come into nature (coming out of the ship on their one-day excursion). Love the fisbie detail (didn't know Whamm-o had offices in distant space), love being reminded that Luca---who is really heroic---is still the brother of Jack; and how you work his bday party into it---which Jack never makes it to (love that detail too): It's a sweet touch (the bday party), a bit of family energy in the midst of galactic events of the most dramatic order.

I also loved Jack annoying that woman (I forgot her name) and loving that he did. Also, loved the vignette between the archaeologist asking Jack to uncover an artifact, while barely paying attention to Jack's much bigger concerns; then---whoosh!---suddenly agreeing to Jack's requests---boom!---meaning, Jack got through to the doctor in an instant. These little moments are so human, and such perfect moments which people your work chapter after chapter. We want to see more of this character (Lanthu? Did I spell it correctly?) I even --skipping back---loved the image of Mr Buckles running aside the others while they ride.

I get the feeling of your larger arc, as it forms---this, without knowledge of many chapters that preceded Bk I---and once again, you've set us into a quest for some grave events, dangerous and important objects, traversing arcs of history replete with oppression and even war; and Jack is once again in the center of solving it. As are your other characters like Luca. Quite an array, with A.I. in there, using every folk phrase she can think of, and Bowan---whose youth and devotion feels beautiful---or the new Lanthu, who may have a recurring role, etc etc. I'm fully drawn in. I wish I both read and wrote a lot faster, but know that each section I read of yours, I'm with you 100%. Love the first 4 chapters; they're full of your usual many human moments, humor and tensions side-by-side, high drama and mystery, and (always, whether on the surface or underneath), love. Kudos Sir Wolf. (Someone called you that.) Wonderful job as always.

Wolfenshire

1:40AM | Sun, 01 August 2021

This is an amazing review, and much appreciated because it is on my current work; as in, I haven't moved to a new sub-plot yet. The larger arc actually travels through all the books I've written. In the way of McCaffrey, I have one Universe, and all things happen in that one Universe, though over a very grand time-line. (It saves so much time not to have to keep re-inventing new laws of physics, as mine are all connected. I also appreciate the comment on my most current chapter. I haven't written the first word of Chapter 5 yet, which makes this comment, and the next, you wrote something I'm now studying word for word. And I have to say, there are a few things that surprised me. I hadn't planned for Dr. Lanthu to become a main character, but once you said you wanted to see more of him, his entire contribution to the plot fell into place in a second. You also said, "how in hell does one keep the thread going over so many weeks of installments?" Well, I've been doing it for ten years now, but not consciously, in fact, almost nothing I do is a conscious effort. I'm a 'by-the-seat' writer. I paint, I sculpt, I push the words around until it makes sense. I rarely post a first draft. I'll write that first draft and realize, gosh, this is stupid, he/she isn't acting naturally, they would never do that, and so I push and pull until it's right. But I never think about it. I think about it after I write it, and often realize, oops, that was a mistake, he shouldn't have done that. Your comment on my opening scenes actually made me realize they weren't complete. I think I swung and missed on many of them. I didn't use all five senses effectively. When you mentioned the flashlight falling on the ancient computer, I really realized how bad I missed on that one. Case in point. I was 15 and a very curious boy about everything. I went to a huge church missionary camp at a college over the summer once. Well, they didn't lock anything up. So I explored. The computer building attracted my attention first. The door was unlocked, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to be in there. So, naturally I went in. It was dark, as there were no classes. It was quiet, as there were no students, it was very much like Jack arriving at the pyramid. I realize now that I shouldn't have had Jack pop into the main room. He should have had to walk through the dark corridors as I did. And then I found the computer room. It was massive, containing one of the first key-punch computers. There was very little light, so my first view of it was this wonderous and massive computer that was easily two stories tall, and spanned at least fifty feet across. There were so many terminals. There was a scent of ink, and paper, and a mysterious electronic alien feel to the room. I should have described Jack's discovery with the same feelings and senses that I encountered when I found that computer. And then when I heard a door open. The fear I felt that I would be found somewhere I shouldn't have been. I hid in the darkest corner I could behind... I don't know what it was... some large part of the computer. The man that entered the room was obviously a professor come to get something... do something... idk. He walked right past me, and I was so silent, I didn't even breathe. And then again when he left. All that should have been part of Jack's experience. Yes, I swung and missed.


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