“OK, Lord” sighed Albert, “I’m so damn sick of bloody growing old.” Those blasted stairs, he thought, knees creaking all the way up – and then trembling all the way down. One of these days I’ll fall down the sodding stairs. And no-one will hear me., or give a dam! If lean over to turn the scanner on - damn knees crack! Ah well, never mind – time for a glass or two. Albert settled down to watch the latest news on the box, glass of strong dry sherry in hand – and totally pissed off with the stupid world. The Newsreader was describing the latest development in androids and robots. Just call them all robots, muttered Albert – keep it simple for us old buggers. Companions? What they on about – robots as companions for humans – house robots? All female, I see, typical. I suppose a robot home nurse would be helpful for elderly gits like me. No-one would accuse us of having lewd thoughts about them now that the damn equipment don’t work no more! Don’t say how much they cost, though. ======= “Good morning, Sir How can I help you? “I thought I’d have a shufti at these companion robots of yours.” Albert replied. “And see if one them migt be of some use to me to me – help me around like, do a bit of housekeeping and that, shoppng, cooking, like.” “Of course, Sir; one of our androids would probably suit you very nicely.” “Androids?” “Robots that look much more human than the standard all-metal working robot. And far more capable as companions, able to hold conversations, provide information and so on. Let me show you some of our latest models.” The salesman led Albert into another room where the androids stood, silent, waiting, some in a row, others on raised plinths. All young, pretty, well-dressed – real-looking hair -all much of a muchness, it struck Albert. “Anthea!’ the salesman called, and a salesgirl appeared. “I will leave you with Anthea,” the salesman said to Albert, “she is an expert on the capabilities of these models.” He bowed to Albert, and left the room. Albert continued to examine the androids. Not much to choose, and then he noticed one that stood out from the rest. Rather pretty, he thought. Yes, he said to himself – that one –she could look after me. Anthea watched him and noted his reactions. “She is very efficient, and comes with all the knowledge that can be found on the internet, and all the skills needed by a home help – cooking, cleaning and general care for her owner.” Albert looked at the android, yet he wondered – why was he attracted to her in particular – was it her knowledge, her ability – or her beauty? Silly old fool! daft old sod ain't you. eh? She isn’t even a human; she's just a pretty doll driven by a program. “Sir?” Anthea was waiting. “I wonder if - well, do you - would you mind switching her on?” “Of course.” Anthea went up to the android. “Cheril,” she commanded, “wake up.” Oh Lord, thought Albert, just what have I done? wondering just what he was letting himself in for, - what – But then Cheril smiled at him and his heart melted. He was lost. His heart and mind were captured in an instant by – by an imitation human with a beautiful face and a winning smile. Albert sighed. “Is there a problem sir?” “Well, to be honest, I very much doubt I have enough money for an android – especially one so gifted.” Cheril beamed at him. He was really confused – she seemed so real – “I’m sure,” she said, “that the Manager will have a solution.” “Yes,“ added Anthea, “perhaps you would like to chat to Cheril while I speak to our Manager.” And left without waiting for an answer. “What is your name?” Cheril inquired. “Al – Albert.” “And you would like a reliable companion in your home?” “Very much – what with getting older and a bit unsteady – and forgetful. Can you – can you cook and –‘ “Of course, And I have a vast compendium of recipes to suit every taste, whether simple or complicated. You have but to ask.” “When I was married and still working I left the cooking to my wife – and she would do something different every day – a surprise every evening –“ “Excellent – I can follow in her footsteps, if you wish.” “Sir,” Anthea interrupted, returning from her discussion with the Manager. “this is the price of such an android,” holding out a small piece of paper to Albert, “but if should prove too high for you, we may have a solution.” Albert took the figure in at a glance – totally impossible. “I think the Manager has a solution that will suit you.” Albert, still looking at the figures, sighed. “Our Manager has suggested a loan scheme. What he needs is someone to ‘test’ out an android for us. All you need to do is report on how she suits your world, how well she looks after you and so on – an honest report than we can publish as part of our advertising. In exchange for this service you may have Cheril without any payment, for as long as necessary.” “And eventually send her back?” “Very likely – but if you can find some way of saving enough for her, then she will be yours.” Albert looked at Cheril; she smiled at him. “Say yes, please, Albert.” He felt rather dizzy, but, yes, I’ll do it and see just how it all works out. “ I agree,” he said simply. “Excellent,” Anthea sighed, -“all you need to do is take this contract home, read it carefully, then sign it. Cheril will go home with you now, and she can answer any questions you may have. We want you to be satisfied with this arrangement and happy with Cheril,” “How did you get here – by car?” “No. On foot. No car now.” “I will drive you home.”