Woodsy Red Howling by mescorp
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Comments (1)
kalebdaark
Here's another one I never see when I'm camping. And I've been in a couple of remote spots in my life. The only one I ever saw was bigfoot.
"Hey bro, what'cha doin' right now?"
The large hairy creature was carrying a bag full of ....something. "Just grabbin' a quick bite. Got a gig tonight. There's a bunch 'o 'reaserchers' down yonder screechin' animal cries into the woods real loud tryin' to get my attention and botherin' a bunch of legit family campers down there. So I guess I gotta put in an appearance just to get rid of 'em. I mean for real.....I got a publicist....hello! Just give him a call and pay me and you can take all the pics you want!. Buncha eedjits!"
I asked the hairy hominid if he'd ever seen any cute wolf girls running around howling anywhere around these parts.
"Nah, just a bunch of sorority girls one time just playin' around. Man, was that a wild weekend! Lemme check with a couple o' buds 'o mine," the big guy said as he pulled out his smartphone, though I couldn't tell from where. He put down the sack and DM'd a couple of his buddies. "Yeah, man, even the Mothman and the Flatwoods Monster said they never saw anything like that out in the jungle, and they live pretty remote and off-the-grid too. Y'know I think they just make that stuff up for the tourists. Fun tales for the curious. A lotta tiny towns around here need people to come in and stay awhile to make a buck."
"Yeah, I guess it kinda makes sense," says I "It's still purty out here but a cute wolf girl sure would liven things up."
"Dude, don't you know it! But I guess that part's a bust. Hey, y'want some salmon to cook up?" the big dude offered.
"Sure. I got some coffee, I'll brew some up," says I.
"Much obliged. That acidy rot-gut they serve at the 7-11 always gets me refluxing. They don't even have a Starbucks around here, can ya believe that?" the huge hairy creature said, a hint of exasperation on his humanoid face.
After a fine meal of roasted salmon and cowboy coffee, the hairy guy bid farewell "Have a better one, dude, PEACE." He waved, striking his classic pose from the Patterson-Gimlin film as he strode back into the forest.