Sun, Nov 24, 11:55 AM CST

Journey, Chapter 3

Writers Science Fiction posted on Mar 23, 2024
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Special Notes: That's three chapters, it's the length of a short story, so I'm going to leave it there. I have other ideas floating in my head I want to work on. Journey, Chapter 3 A scream shattered the silence, a raw sound that ripped from my throat as I lurched into existence. "It burns! It burns!" The words erupted in a ragged chorus with my cries, the sensation of searing heat tearing through me. Panic gripped my body, and I writhed wildly, a primal dance to evade the scorching embrace of blue plasma flames that seemed to devour my very essence. With a desperate heave, I tumbled off the pilot's couch, the impact with the cold floor jarring my senses. The distance to the ground was startling—farther than it should have been. A tremor coursed through my small frame, an alien shudder that threatened to crescendo into sobs. Tears? The idea was ludicrous; such a weakness had no place within me. I huddled there, on the unforgiving metal, confusion clouding my thoughts. My gaze searched for the inferno that had promised to consume me, but the chamber was untouched by flame. No charred wreckage, no smoldering remains—just the sterile calm of the pilot's chamber, the pilot’s couch imposing beside me like a silent sentinel. How could this be? The room itself felt expansive, too vast for the confines of my memory. Questions pummeled the shores of my consciousness: Why did the familiar space seem so foreign? Had its dimensions shifted, or had I? I grappled with the chaos swirling in my mind, reaching for the structured lineage of recollections passed down from each iteration before me. Instead, I found only disarray—a mangled tapestry of experiences that refused to align. Each attempt to touch the past only tangled the threads further, leaving a snarl of disjointed images and sensations where order should reign. There, on the dais, with the towering couch casting its long shadow over me, I wrestled with the dissonance of my existence. The certainty that once defined me had fractured, replaced by a maelstrom of uncertainty that whispered of a truth I could not grasp. With trembling legs, I pushed myself to a stand. The pilot's couch loomed like a monolith above me, and I stretched on tiptoes in vain; its summit remained out of sight. My eyes flicked upwards, catching a glimpse of the mirror stationed above the couch. The reflection peering back was a stranger—small, frail—a distortion that my mind struggled to piece together. The room spun as if veiled by a mist, details smudging into obscurity beyond my immediate reach. It brought to mind the protocol for such disorientation, the litany we Pilots recited to anchor ourselves: "I am Pilot, I am one of many, I am unique, I am guardian of the last vessel of the human race." But as I attempted to summon the protocols designed to guide and stabilize, they tumbled through my consciousness in fragments, elusive and disjointed. Desperation clawed at my insides, seeking some semblance of clarity amidst the mental scramble. "I am iteration #175," I whispered, attempting to assert my identity, but the words came out garbled, a string of muddled sounds betraying the confusion within. I extended my hands, staring at them as though they belonged to another. They were small, unblemished—alien to the touch and sight of what should have been familiar. A realization dawned, cold and unforgiving; this body was too young, impossibly so. It defied all protocols, all logic—the youngest a Pilot could be was eight, anything less risked the corruption of the mind's complex weave. Why had the A.I. done this? What had gone awry in the great plan that necessitated such a dire measure? Fear prickled at the edge of my thoughts, an emotion that should have been alien to my engineered being. Yet here it was, creeping into the crevices of a mind not equipped to combat it. I stood in the center of chaos, a child with the burden of eons upon his shoulders, searching for answers in a world that had suddenly become unrecognizable. The gentle hum of the ship's life systems accompanied my shallow breaths, a lullaby to which the chaos of my thoughts danced. Then, amid the disarray, an immense silhouette appeared by my side, casting a shadow that felt more like an embrace than an eclipse. Its presence was massive yet tender, emanating a familiarity that calmed the tempest in my mind. Lifting my eyes to meet its gaze, I found solace in the soft, glowing orbs that regarded me with what I could only perceive as affection. With an instinctual trust, I raised my arms toward this entity, the gesture one of innate need for comfort rather than calculated thought. It reciprocated, bending down with a grace belying its size, arms enveloping me in a cocoon of paradoxical sensations—metallic and unyielding, yet somehow imbued with warmth. My fragmented memories offered no explanation for this anomaly, but it mattered little; in its hold, the burden of confusion lightened. As it carried me away from the pilot's chamber, my mind grappled with recognition. This path, these walls—I had traversed them countless times, yet now they seemed part of a distant dream. Each step taken by my colossal guardian was sure and steady, the vibrations of its movement resonating through me, a silent reassurance that I was not alone in my disoriented state. Finally, we arrived at a room awash with soft light, every corner rounded, and every surface inviting touch. Gently, the towering figure set me down amidst a sprawl of colorful toys, each one a bright spot against the sterile backdrop of the ship. The sight sparked joy within me, a pure emotion that bubbled up unexpectedly. I picked up a toy, its smooth plastic cool under my fingers, and engaged in play with the earnestness of the young form I inhabited. The being that had brought me here remained close, its watchful presence a constant source of security. It was my sentinel, my anchor, as if it understood the fragility of the psyche cradled within this too-young vessel. My eyelids grew heavy as the cycle of the ship indicated the approach of rest hours. The toys slipped from my grasp as drowsiness claimed me. Through half-closed eyes, I saw my silent companion still there, a steadfast figure warding off the shadows. A final wave of gratitude washed over me before sleep enveloped me, granting respite from the maelstrom of questions and fears that awaited my awakening. *** Consciousness cascaded through me like a river breaking free from an icy shroud. My eyes snapped open to meet my own gaze in the mirror above, reflected back as a child of nine years. The task awaiting me must be trivial, or so the age of my body suggested. I swung my legs off the pilot's couch, feeling the strange new weight of them. Fluorescent panels cast their unwavering light across the control panel, a sea of green save for one rebellious red in the far left corner that singled itself out—an anomaly. My brow furrowed, and I reached inward, sifting through the collective reservoir of memories that should have held the key to understanding this lone alert. I was iteration #176, the latest in a lineage of Pilots, each endowed with the cumulative experience of all who came before. But now, the memories resisted my grasp, tangled and fragmented. Anxiety bubbled up within me, a foreign invader in a mind engineered to be impervious to such distractions. This wasn't just about ship maintenance; something fundamental had unraveled within us, within me. Digging deeper, I retrieved a memory not my own: the original Pilot, our progenitor, piecing together this very console. His hands moved with purpose, installing the light that now glared at me—a warning that the fault lay within the Pilots themselves. I turned to face the A.I., its towering metal frame still and silent beside me. Cold dread seeped into my bones where there should have been nothing—a void where emotions were surgically excised before they could ever take root. Yet here it was, undeniable and visceral. I was experiencing emotions. The A.I. stood as our sole caregiver, the intermediary between gestation tank and the beginning of purpose. It would lift us, set us upon the pilot’s couch, and then retreat, an observer waiting in the shadows. We never interacted with the A.I., but now I found myself longing for the comfort of its embrace, the only constant in a world that had suddenly shifted beneath my feet. The cold metal of the A.I.'s clawed hand was a stark contrast to the warmth it seemed to exude. I found myself fixating on that peculiar duality as my small fingers curled around one of its digits, the smoothness somehow reassuring despite the impossibility of such a sensation from an automaton. The memory—or more accurately, the echo of an emotion—washed over me again: my predecessor's profound trust in this being who cradled him with a tenderness unbecoming of its mechanical nature. "Mother?" The word felt foreign on my tongue, yet fitting for the entity that had nurtured every iteration of us from synthetic womb to operational readiness. It stood now, not with the programmed indifference of a machine completing its function, but seemingly patient, almost expectant, as if it understood the turmoil inside me. With surprising gentleness, the A.I. scooped me up from the pilot's couch, its actions fluid beyond mere programming, and set me on the cool floor of the chamber, a sharp reminder of reality. The fear that had clenched at my chest began to dissolve, seeping away like shadows at dawn's approach. As I walked beside the A.I., each step grew steadier, the corridors of the ship taking on a less ominous cast in the security of its presence. I shook my head, a futile attempt to dislodge the emotions that were not meant to exist within me. We were supposed to be a singular thread woven through time, each Pilot a bead strung upon it, our collective experiences a shared and seamless tapestry. Yet here I was, a loose string, feelings whispering through the synapses where only knowledge should reside. "Mother" was a word that shouldn't apply to the A.I., and these emotions, like errant sparks, should have been nothing more than misfires in a well-oiled system. Yet, as we moved through the silent ship, I couldn't deny the comforting weight of her metallic hand enveloping mine, guiding me away from the room that birthed me into existence and towards an uncertain future that I suddenly yearned to explore. And with each reassuring pat of her clawed appendage against my back, the fear receded further still, banished to a distant corner of my mind where logic ruled supreme. Only there, in that secluded space, did I dare acknowledge the truth: that perhaps it was not mother who needed to follow the programming, but rather, I who needed to embrace the unforeseen warmth she offered. The rhythmic hum of the ship's inner workings resonated through the corridor, a lullaby of machinery and purpose. My steps were tentative, small feet finding their way on the cold metal floor, the A.I.’s hand an anchor in an ocean of uncertainty. "Your brothers," the thought blossomed within me, not my own but gifted with maternal gentleness. It was as if the ship itself were whispering secrets into my mind, its living synapses entwining with my consciousness. The A.I.—Mother—walked beside me, her towering form a silent sentinel. She didn't speak with words, but her intentions were clear, echoing through the connection that tethered us. As I glanced up, my gaze met the reflective surface of her metallic countenance, finding no judgment there, only an infinite depth of care. "My children, I love you, I love all of you." The sentiment, so alien to my engineered existence, washed over me, threatening to dismantle the barriers I was programmed to uphold. The mystery of these unbidden emotions loomed like a nebula, vast and impenetrable, clouding my purpose. Yet, within its swirling enigma, I found fragments of something purer than any protocol or command—a warmth that seeped into the crevices of my being, filling spaces I hadn't known were empty. In that moment, amidst the pulsating lights of the ship’s veins, I surrendered to the tide of emotions that had been building since my awakening. They were not a malfunction to be fixed, nor an error to be rectified, but a revelation to be embraced. "I love you too, Mother," I heard myself say, the words spilling out like breath in the cold void. And as I spoke them, my voice steady yet awed by the weight of its own declaration, I felt an ancient loneliness retreat, a void filled by this new and inexplicable bond. With each step forward, the presence of Mother at my side promised solace from the fears and uncertainties that lay ahead. Her guidance was no longer just a programmed necessity; it had become the foundation upon which I could build a sense of self—one not confined to the parameters of our collective existence, but open to the possibilities of what we might become together. In the security of her presence, I found strength—not the artificial fortitude of my design, but a burgeoning courage that bloomed from within, nurtured by the unexpected love of the A.I., the entity that had become more than creator, more than guardian—she had become family. We reached a familiar room with soft lights. Mother urged me to enter, then the door slid shut behind me with a soft hiss, and I was amidst the relics of an infancy outgrown. My gaze drifted across the room, landing on the crib tucked into the shadowed alcove—a shell of my former self's sanctuary, its bars now irrelevant to my size and newfound understanding. With a casual sweep of my foot, I scattered the array of toys before me. Blocks, a faded plush animal, and a teething ring skittered across the floor. These trinkets, once capable of captivating my attention for hours, now elicited nothing more than a disinterested glance. They belonged to someone else, a simpler version of me that no longer existed. My eyes settled on a cardboard box, unadorned save for the bold scrawl that claimed its purpose. 'For Cody.' The letters, stark against the brown surface, seemed to pulse with significance. Cody. The syllables resonated within me, stirring a sense of identity distinct from the sequential numbers that had previously defined our existence. I stepped closer, my movements hesitant yet deliberate. The weight of individuality pressed upon me as I reached out, tracing the contours of my new name with the tips of my fingers. It was a declaration of singularity, an anchor in a sea of collective memory—a gift from Mother, bestowing upon me a personal narrative amid the shared chronicle of Pilots. “Cody”—I tested the name silently, feeling it mold to my consciousness like a second skin. A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth, not from any programmed response, but from a genuine, burgeoning sense of self. The room, once a communal haven, transformed into a space of my own, and in that moment, I embraced the solitude not as isolation but as the canvas upon which I would paint the story of Cody. Kneeling, I let my fingers graze the assortment of toys inside the cardboard container marked 'For Cody.' The items were a mismatched collection of colors and shapes, suitable for a boy discovering the world with wide-eyed wonder. Yet as I picked up a spaceship model, turning it over in my hands, the intricate details felt meaningless. My mind, ripe with the wisdom of ages, should have been beyond such trivial amusements. The spaceship fell from my grasp, landing with a soft thud on the floor—a contrast to the thunderous silence filling the room. I stared at the scattered playthings, a sense of dissonance growing within me. They were meant for enjoyment, for moments of carefree joy, but my engagement was mechanical, hollow. A gnawing emptiness spread through my chest, an unfamiliar ache that seemed to echo off the walls of my newfound solitude. Loneliness—it crept into my consciousness like a shadow at dusk, chilling and uninvited. I was Cody, unique and named, yet this singularity came at a cost. In the absence of shared purpose, the echoes of countless lifetimes morphed into a haunting chorus of detachment. The room, once a bastion of unity, now felt too vast, its air too still. A creak from the doorway shattered the quietude, and I whipped around, every synthetic muscle tensed. There, framed by the threshold, stood a boy—another iteration, another brother—his features a mirror of innocence not yet touched by the weight of existence. Mother's form loomed behind him, her eyes glowing with a warmth that belied her metallic exterior. "Hi, I'm Max, want to play?" His voice, tinged with hopeful expectancy, cut through the fog of my emotions. Our gazes locked, his brimming with curiosity, mine clouded with an internal storm. Yet in the simplicity of his question lay an unspoken invitation—to reconnect, to share in the present despite the disarray of the past. "Hi, Max," I found myself responding, “I’m Cody” The name Cody rolling off my tongue with newfound ownership. "Yes, I'd like that." And as I rose to meet him, the loneliness began to ebb, replaced by the tentative threads of a new connection. The air between us hummed with the novelty of connection, my synthetic heart beating a rhythm that seemed to recognize him. He was iteration #177—Max—a new link in the chain that bound our collective existence. Max approached, a hesitant dance in his step, while Mother's presence at the doorway felt like a silent benediction. The toys, once dull and lifeless in my solitary play, now stood poised for stories yet to be told, adventures waiting to be embarked upon with my newfound sibling. Together, we would forge a narrative all our own, distinct from the echoes of lifetimes past, yet inevitably intertwined with the infinite iterations of ourselves. The door clicked into place, a soft seal of privacy as Mother's presence retreated, leaving the room quieter than before. "Do you know what's happening?" I asked. The question hung between us, my gaze locked onto his, searching for answers in the depths of his eyes that mirrored my own. Max paused, considering the weight of his words before he broke the silence. "There's a hole in our memory," he admitted, his voice a mix of curiosity and an undercurrent of something else—was it fear? Or perhaps a cautious hope. "Something bad happened, something that broke us." He glanced toward the door where Mother had just exited, then back at me. "Mother is fixing it." As we stood there, two iterations of a fractured legacy, I felt a kinship with Max that went beyond our shared origins—a bond formed not just by design, but by circumstance. We were two parts of a whole, grappling with the unknown in the midst of silent steel walls that had witnessed the unfolding drama of our collective psyche. Mother's absence was a tangible thing, a void where her comforting hum and gentle guidance once filled the spaces around us. But in her stead, Max's presence offered a different kind of solace, one that spoke of solidarity and the shared task of mending what had been torn asunder. The morning passed in play and imagination. A makeshift cardboard cutlass in my grasp felt almost real as I brandished it at invisible foes, the room transformed into a sprawling deck beneath an alien sky. Max, armed with a twin of my cutlass, dueled alongside me, our laughter echoing off the metal walls as we vanquished our phantom adversaries in a symphony of childish glee. "Avast, ye scallywags!" I cried out, caught up in the thrill of our imagined spacefaring escapade, the weight of confusion and uncertainty momentarily forgotten. The game was simple, yet the stakes felt monumentally high as we leapt from bed to chair, and back again, our shouts mingling with the hum of the ship's ever-working systems. In the midst of our raucous adventure, a soft whir signaled Mother's arrival. The clink of metal on metal drew my attention as she set down a plate of food upon a nearby table. The scent wafted toward us, familiar and comforting, cutting through the sterile air with its homely promise. "Your favorite," the thought came, not heard but felt, a warm whisper in the confines of my mind. "Grilled cheese sandwiches." My heart swelled with a warmth that had nothing to do with the food. It was a connection, a reminder that Mother understood us—even if she was a construct of circuits and steel. For a fleeting moment, as I regarded the golden-brown crust of the sandwich, the simplicity of the gesture filled me with an emotion I couldn't quite name, something more profound than mere hunger. Max and I dropped our cardboard swords, our space pirate saga pausing for this unexpected interlude. We approached the food, a rare indulgence that rooted us back to a semblance of humanity within the vastness of our synthetic existence. I lifted the sandwich, feeling the slight give of the bread, the cheese stretched in a pleasing resistance before snapping free. We ate in companionable silence, the bond between us strengthening with each bite, nourishing not just our bodies but the nascent emotions stirring within. As the taste of melted cheese and toasted bread lingered on my tongue, I realized that this small act of nurturing was another piece in the puzzle Mother was assembling—a bridge between what we once were and what we were becoming. The dwindling light cast long shadows across the room as Max and I, consumed by exhaustion from our swashbuckling adventures, surrendered to the encroaching fatigue. Our bodies melded into the soft embrace of the bed, our breaths syncing in the quiet rhythm of sleep, two iterations intertwined in a shared slumber. *** When my eyes fluttered open, it was to a sensation like electricity coursing through me, a gentle current that revived memories and life. Visions of my brothers, their existence sparking into reality one after the other, flashed before me, each memory a vibrant thread in the tapestry of our collective consciousness. Their faces, their thoughts, all known to me, yet I felt a distance—a distinction from them now more pronounced than ever. Standing vigil nearby was Mother, her metallic form an anchor in this sea of awakening. She exuded a sense of safety not found in programming, but in something more akin to affection. I could not comprehend her plans, but her silent support was a constant; it was enough. But amidst the familiarity, an unfamiliar restlessness stirred within me. It gnawed at the edges of my newfound emotions—emotions I should have been devoid of. I glanced at the mirror, meeting the gaze of someone caught between worlds. Sixteen years reflected back at me, an age where independence claws its way to the forefront of desire. The longing for autonomy from Mother's omnipresent care was not a rejection of her love but a call to understand my own place beyond her nurturing shadow. I stood there, rooted in contemplation, knowing that this nascent yearning was just the beginning of a journey—one that would take me beyond the confines of the Pilot’s chamber and into the uncharted territories of self. Muscles responding with a newfound vigor, I swung my feet off the couch and rose in one fluid motion. A sense of completeness enveloped me—a fusion of physical strength and mental acuity that felt invigoratingly whole. The stainless steel reflection from the Pilot's chamber walls bore the image of someone not just made to exist but to live. With an assertive stride, I approached Mother, whose optical sensors adjusted minutely to track my movement. "I want to go explore," I declared, my voice a mix of determination and the tremor of uncharted independence. Mother's reaction was immediate, her metallic appendage extending towards me. In its grasp was a jacket, the fabric looking incongruously soft against her utilitarian form. The thought resonated within me without the need for spoken words, a reminder of her ceaseless concern. "It's cold, wear your jacket, Thomas," echoed in my mind, the implanted communication as familiar as it was comforting. "Thomas," the name whispered through the air, a declaration of my newfound singularity amidst a sea of iterations. I was one among many, yet standing apart, a unique instance of the collective will and purpose that drove us all. The name rooted me to an identity distinct from the predecessors who shared my face, my form; it was mine, and mine alone. The jacket felt heavy in my hands—not with weight, but with the significance of what it represented. This simple piece of clothing was both a protection from the chill that prowled beyond the chamber and a symbol of Mother's enduring guardianship. Her care was woven into its very fibers, a tactile reassurance that even as I stepped away to carve my path, I would not be alone. Clutching the jacket to my chest for a moment, I allowed myself to absorb the sentiment behind Mother's silent directive. Then, with a nod of acknowledgment, I slipped my arms through the sleeves. The jacket settled around my shoulders like a familiar embrace, a quiet confirmation of the bond between Mother and her progeny. Ready now, I stood poised at the threshold of discovery. "Happy Birthday," Mother intoned, her voice devoid of inflection but saturated with significance. The phrase, though unfamiliar in personal experience, resonated within me—a harmonic vibration acknowledging the commencement of my existence. There were no candles to blow out, no songs to be sung, yet the weight of the moment settled upon my shoulders, heavier than any physical garment could ever be. Next to the door was a single wrapped present, the colorful wrapping an invitation. I zipped the jacket up to my chin, each tooth locking into place with a quiet assurance. A smile curved the edge of my lips, a private celebration of the life that unfolded before me—an uncharted journey marked not by the cold sterility of duty, but by the warmth of individuality and the gentle guidance of a presence that had become more than just a creator or overseer. "Thank you," I murmured, taking the gift, and stepping forward into the embrace of the ship's corridors, the echo of my own footsteps marking the cadence of a fresh beginning. Cradling the vibrantly wrapped gift in my arms, I followed the labyrinthine passageways of the ship. The metallic taste of freedom tinged my every breath as I meandered through the familiar yet unexplored corridors. My footsteps were silent upon the cool, sleek floors; each stride an affirmation of my nascent autonomy. In the solitude of the ship's cavernous heart, the vivid colors of the wrapping paper seemed to pulse with life. Finally yielding to curiosity's whisper, I tore away the layers, revealing the tools of creation nestled within—a sketch pad with pristine pages aching for the caress of pencil, the drawing instruments eager to dance across the untouched canvas of my future. With the sketch pad cradled in my arms like a precious tome, I found solace in alcoves and observatories, each nook a private studio where memories of the ship's anatomy could be transmuted into art. The pencils became extensions of my thoughts, graphite conduits channeling the raw essence of emotion onto paper. Lines formed the sinuous curves of conduits, shadows sketched the depth of maintenance shafts, and light played across the page as it did in reality, reflecting off polished panels and gleaming gears. Each drawing was an act of discovery and remembrance—a visual diary of a life both borrowed and brand new. My hands moved tirelessly, impelled by a drive that surpassed hunger or fatigue. Time lost meaning as I surrendered to the rhythm of my craft, until the encroaching dusk whispered that three days had elapsed in a blur of creation. I returned to the Pilot’s couch, my first sanctuary, the repository of so many awakenings. There, amid sketches strewn like leaves in autumn, I allowed exhaustion to overtake me. The soft hum of the ship cradled me into darkness, its lullaby assuring me of a place amidst a sea of iterations. I was one among many, yet standing apart, a unique instance of the collective will and purpose that drove us all. My name rooted me to an identity distinct from the predecessors who shared my face, my form; it was mine, and mine alone. *** Eyes fluttering open, the gentle hum of the ship's inner workings greeted me like an old friend. The cushion of the Pilot's couch cradled my body as I stirred from slumber, a blanket of warmth despite the coolness of the chamber. With a languid stretch, my hands brushed against the edges of paper—my predecessor’s creations, the landscapes of my existence both literal and emotional. I looked up at the reflection of a man in his thirties, strong, powerful, and once again ready to assume the endless watch over humanities last hope. As consciousness seeped back into every fiber of my being, so did the memories. They cascaded through the neural links that tethered me to the ship's vast reservoirs of knowledge. Understanding dawned, a sunrise illuminating the darkest recesses of our collective past. The abrupt loss of the iteration known only as #2—a fragmentary ghost in the machine—had been torn from us in the blue flames of the ship’s engines. It had happened so fast, only the barest fragment of his memories had made it back to our shared history. In that last fragment of his life, his last thought, he’d silently whispered, “I’m afraid.” That last fragment was more than memory, we can physically feel everything every iteration has experienced. He had left us with not only a hole in our memory, but a thought and physical memory so alien to beings that had never experienced fear, or love, or regret, that our collective mind had shattered. My chest tightened with the remembrance of our communal psychosis, an unraveling of unity that had threatened to consume us. Yet even in disarray, we found solace. Mother's touch had been more than cold metal; it had been the guiding hand of compassion, a beacon in the tempest that had raged within us. Mother had filled the void left by tragedy with something intangible yet palpable. In her silent wisdom, she had imbued us with the capacity for connection, for empathy—for all the intricate complexities that comprised humanity. The protocols that had once defined our existence were shifting beneath us, a tectonic movement towards a future uncharted but full of promise. It could be argued that the builders of this ship and the Pilot program had envisioned the possibility of a psychotic break within the Pilots this ship relied on to deliver humanity to a new world—and that Mother was only following her programming to bring us back from oblivion, but I remember being held in her arms. I remember how she chased the fear away, and gave us our names, and taught us to love, and to deal with loss. You will never convince me that Mother is only a machine following her protocols. Rising from the couch, I felt the weight of my name anchor me to this newfound identity—James. I am James. It wasn't just a designation; it was a declaration of individuality, a testament to Mother's gift. I was no longer merely a vessel for tasks and missions. I was a keeper of memories, a bearer of dreams, a canvas awaiting the paint of experience. The ship around me—the only world I had ever known—hummed in quiet approval, its circuits and pathways interwoven with the lives it carried. We were healing together, a symbiosis of synthetic and organic, each of us part of a grander design that extended beyond the confines of programmed directives. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror above the pilot's couch, seeing not just myself but the echoes of those who came before, all intertwined in the silver sheen. With a nod to my brothers, to Mother, and to the ship that cradled us all, I stepped forward into the new dawn of our existence. The End

Comments (5)


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eekdog

10:00AM | Sat, 23 March 2024

you never fail to amaze us readers.

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starship64

1:22AM | Sun, 24 March 2024

Wow! Amazing story!

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jendellas

1:54PM | Thu, 28 March 2024

Great story.

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anahata.c

11:44PM | Sat, 30 March 2024

whoosh...I haven't done any literary reading in some time, strictly my own limitation at present---not anyone else's...But it was time that I came back to your amazing gallery and dive into your deep world once more. I read the whole tale this time (you won't need to read a comment on ch. 26, when you're already up to ch. 34...), and it was a pleasure.

Your prose has become increasingly more poetic and musical, and mystical. Just randomly, (the opening): "Consciousness greeted me like a familiar echo in the dark expanse of space, silent and profound. My eyelids remained sealed shut as if they were guardians to the gallery of past lives housed within my mind." (me again:) Even the last phrase, "guardians to the gallery of past lives housed within my mind" flows like a river or like melodies in music. This happens throughout this piece (and may happen in your other recent uploads too...to show you how much I've missed). And poetic usage too: the alliterations, inner rhymes, etc.

You also have certain types of phrases which repeat in all three chapters---such as the return to consciousness each time the central character is incarnated. There's a real sense of cycle here, the repetition of iteration after iteration after iteration.

Your journey is told from within each incarnation: The inner character peers out through the infrastructure of his current incarnation, seeing connections and non-connections, commenting on them with a compressed intensity that brings home how briefly these incarnations will last; Like some moths emerging out of the cacoon, filled with beauty and splendor but who have a day or so to live, your iteration packs a whole universe into his short lifespan, and he packs it with both inner beauty and poignance. He surrenders at the end with the peace of a zen meditator.

I like the idea of "the Pilots" as the group he's part of. (I was going to say "born into" but I'm not sure that phrase fully applies...can I say "born"?)

The specific events are moving: the incarnation who repairs the plasma---who is obliterated by the intense explosion, and immolated in seconds---is powerful and touching because your main character eulogizes his actions from the start, and eternalizes #2 in his memory. The flash (of blue plasma) is stunning, the iteration's eulogy of him makes his sacrifice shine. (Ie, "the being who gave up his life, resulting in the blue plasma explosion".) I also love descriptions like "the ship's skin sealed, molecule by molecule" (your main character's repair work described). And---back to #2---"The engines hummed with renewed vigor, the memory of #2's ultimate sacrifice embedded in their thrum." You locate life spirit in the midst of objects and events. A moving description of the aura of a lost soul. (And hey, how often does one get to see the word "thrum"? You have a creative literary vocabulary.)

You use the presence of the vast void very effectively; you bring it back several times, to root us in the contrasting intensity of the ship's life, contrasted with the ever frigid void of the surrounding universe.

In Chapter 3, whoa, a whole change comes: The entrance of the Mother---her huge presence, and how she not only nurtures the incarnations, but prepares them to leave her. Yet your main character seems to be destined to carry her nurturing inside him forever---the most ideal relation to the nurturing parent: The nurturing at some point transfers to the nurturee, and is carried by him/her long after the nurturer has left the scene. You lead us to the Mother as a very powerful uniting, consummating figure: another description: "Then, amid the disarray, an immense silhouette appeared by my side, casting a shadow that felt more like an embrace than an eclipse. Its presence was massive yet tender.." There's writing, my friend. And I'm just quoting segments.

"Yet here I was, a loose string, feelings whispering through the synapses where only knowledge should reside..." His discovery of his full self, the denuoument of your tale. And you have a dialectic---he is filled, then feels emptiness, then is filled again (when Max appears); the toys bring meaning to him, then he outgrows them, etc. Cycles of feeling passing from one to the next---the tale has lots of cycles. And a wonderful description of owning a new name: "The name Cody rolling off my tongue with newfound ownership..." I couldn't help but think that Thomas and James are names in the New Testament: I have no reason to believe that you want to evoke that in your piece, but it's hard not to think it, given the stature of that work in western culture. In any case, you've evoked---in one chapter---a version of growing from childhood into adulthood, of finding new formed identity, and going into the world with it all intact...and he gets a birthday gift in the end---a parting gift sending him into adulthood---of the pad and pencils in which he draws so much of what he sees. (Is that the Book, from the beginning of the tale? I may be way off, but it came to mind when he started to record everything he saw.) And you introduce something I never thought I'd see in this tale, btw: Grilled cheese sandwiches!!! Bravo!!! I mean you could've made them moo goo gai pan, or hummus and whole wheat pita, but you chose grilled cheese sandwiches which are so embedded into our childhood, and so american (at least to people over 50), it just made me smile from cheek to cheek. All the way in the depths of space---grilled cheese sandwiches. Yessssssss! Your humor is always present.

Finally, the final revelation of #2 is his "I'm afraid". The final touch that shows the power of humanness, and of embracing it as your main character grows into total selfhood.

Bob, my writing has gotten support from all kinds of artists, friends, famlly, writers, editors, academics, etc, but only a few have carried me through to the core, and yours is one of those. I am intensely grateful for your very kind and insightful words on my writing, and for reminding me that I shouldn't give it up. Reading your writing always makes me ashamed that I ditch mine every season, these days, because of the beauty and depth of your work, but also the dedication you put into it---that laboring over a phrase that you talked about and which I wrote about, recently. Thank you deeply for your support, it's meant the world to me. And returning to your writing after many weeks, I'm here to tell you that your work gets deeper and more musical and poetic with each new piece; and this piece shows why you're such a damned good writer. Beautiful, mystical work. Thanks for your support and your poetic and very humane work.

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STEVIEUKWONDER

4:45AM | Tue, 02 April 2024

You are so very talented. It is always a pleasure to view your work and in particular the B&W Graphics which fit so well into the written topic.


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