Back in October 2020 I chanced upon the noteflight (online music notation) website and for the next few weeks my muse was spewing demented lyrics to popular tunes into my ears. In the spirit of community spirit I decided to inflict, sorry, I meant share them. On the positive side you could consider this as an insight into the mind of a genius at work. But that would make you an idiot. :oD This particular little selection has been especially selected for lovers of a certain nameless musical - you know you deserve it ! (Note: tum ti tums, lah di dahs, etc, aren't the actual words. They're just rhythmic placeholders until the appropriate words appear. Except when they're the actual words. Similarly ... is just a placeholder for a line or phrase. Except of course when it's an s.) Crotchets and quavers and Benjamin Brittens, Doorknobs and Handels and noses on kittens, Gingerbread sausages tied up with string, These are a few of my least favourite things. Bittenless fingernails, fingerless mittens, Boastful bald eagles and bombastic bitterns, Frankfurter sandwiches, Emperor Ming, These are a few of my least favourite things. --.-..--.-. * Morse codes** and trunk roads and cane toads and bad odes, Jokers and Aces and Jacks, Queens and Kings, These are a few of my least favourite things. Assets and issues and bold vision statements, Something-ti something-ti something-ti something(that rhymes with'ments'), Same-same but different and muck you can't fling, This sort of rubbish helps keep me laughing Bedknobs and broomsticks and Bambi meets Django, Dick Van Dyke's "cockney" and Dumbo v Rambo Driverless beetles and old cars with wings, ... Chinese fake sausages, ... ... Bulldogs with manicures... They're some more things that amuse me a bit. Divots and carrots and fruit full of maggots, Bigots and spigots and Piggots and faggots****, Budgerie kedgeree flung from a sling, These are a few things I find amusing. Harlots and charlatans, merlots and varlets, Varmints and valets and chalets and valleys, Uniplex cinemas, crowbars to fling, These are a few more quite unlikely things. Harlequins, Harley Quinns, Batmen and Jokers, Pokers and Quakers and knakers and croakers, Paperback sandwiches, rhubard that sings, These are few quite preposterous things. Stirling Moss lip gloss, and Bob Foss on wet moss, Dental floss, Moss Bros and Luke Goss as big boss, Candy floss bandages... These are some stupid things that make me laugh. Plumbago lumbago... Unguents and uncles and great big carbuncles, Ungoliant... (lots more 'un-' words that aren't 'un-' words needed here...) ... ...some more of my unfavourite things * .. .-- --- -. -.. . .-. .... --- .-- -- .- -. -.-- .--. . --- .--. .-.. . .-- .. .-.. .-.. --. . - - .... .- - ..--.. .--. .-.-.- ... .-.-.- .. - .----. ... .--. .-. --- -. --- ..- -. -.-. . -.. -.. .- .... -.. .- .... -.. .. - -.. .- .... -.. .. - -.. .. - -.. .- .... -.. .- .... -.. .. - -.. .- .... -.. .. - ** -.-. .-.. ..- . ****The witch-burning kind