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Convoy, a Short Story

Writers Science Fiction posted on Nov 12, 2024
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Convoy, a Short Story Jax's fingers pressed into the lumpy cushion of the captain's chair, feeling the uneven stuffing beneath the weathered leather. He shifted uncomfortably, trying to find a spot that didn't poke at his back or dig into his thighs. The chair creaked in protest, the sound echoing his own discontent. This wasn't his usual seat—the helm was his domain—but now he sat perched in this relic that seemed more museum piece than functional command seat. A glance over his shoulder afforded him a view of the stranger manning the controls he so intimately knew. Jax caught sight of the helmsman's hands, steady and precise, but lacking the calluses of a seasoned spacefarer. It was an odd sensation, seeing someone else charting the course for his ship, the Celeste, which had always been an extension of himself. He knew the helmsman's name—Tom, a decent enough guy by crew standards, but still an outsider in what had once been Jax's solitary realm. The forced camaraderie of Space Command's edict grated on him. Every ship in the Kuiper Belt, including his own mid-size cargo vessel, had been compelled into a service that felt more conscription than volunteer work. Return to Earth? Yes, but as a pedestrian. His ship was his life, and they knew it; they all did. So Jax complied, begrudgingly accepting the new rules that governed Merchant Marines Transport Ships. "Ten crew members," he muttered under his breath, each word tinged with a mixture of ire and resignation. In his years navigating the vastness between stars, solitude had been his chosen co-pilot, silence his navigator. Now, the hum of additional lifeforms aboard disturbed the familiar quietude, turning his cockpit into a hive of activity and unwelcome noise. His eyes traced along the control panels with fewer buttons and switches than he preferred—a stark reminder that this chair, this position, was not designed with him in mind. With a sigh, Jax leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, and gazed through the viewport at the sprawling cosmos beyond, where freedom awaited those bold enough to reach for it. Yet here he sat, tethered not by gravity nor fear, but by obligation and duty to a crew he never asked for and restrictions that chafed like ill-fitting boots. Nonetheless, Jax knew the stakes; the Kuiper Belt was no place for lone wolves anymore, not with threats lurking in the shadows of every asteroid and comet. "Adapt or die," he whispered to himself, a mantra for the new era of spacefaring. And adapt he would, for the Celeste was more than a ship—it was home—and he'd be damned if he let anyone take that away from him. Star's tail flicked with a commander's authority as she lay sprawled across the helm station. The helmsman, Tom, a lean figure with an air of fresh experience, had made several ineffective attempts to nudge her aside, his fingers inching towards the oxygen recycle switch only to be met with a low growl and a swat of sharp claws. "Tom, go stir the tanks manually," Jax commanded without taking his eyes off the viewport, his voice carrying the weight of both captaincy and concern. He had an innate trust in Star's instincts; if the celestial feline sensed danger, there was merit to her caution. "And check them first, if Star doesn’t want you recycling them, something might be wrong." With a hesitant glance at the cat, who seemed to occupy the control panel with the majesty of a queen on her throne, Tom nodded and pushed himself away from the helm. As he left the bridge, Star's green eyes followed him, unblinking, until he disappeared from sight. Jax leaned back into the worn grooves of the captain's chair, contemplating the silent bond between man and beast that had so often been their salvation in the unforgiving vacuum of space. Star’s intuition had proven infallible once more, and Jax couldn't help but feel a surge of pride for the Kuiper Cat that had become much more than a mere pet aboard the Celeste. The convoy stretched out like a metallic serpent winding through the stars, each vessel dwarfing his own in both size and firepower. Yet, amidst these goliaths, the Celeste held her own—a testament to Jax's skill and the tenacity of his crew. A gentle vibration underfoot, barely perceptible, pulled Jax's attention to the ship beneath him. Subtle adjustments altered their trajectory, the familiar vibrations of the engines whispering of changes unseen but not unfelt. His eyes darted to the navigation unit; the Orion AI had signaled another course alteration with the glow of a green beacon. It was a quiet sentinel overseeing their path, assuring their safety with every calculated deviation from the straight and narrow. The dance was mesmerizing, each ship pirouetting between coordinates dictated by an unseen choreographer. The Orions orchestrated this cosmic ballet with precision, ensuring that predictability was left planetside where it belonged. It was a defensive waltz against threats lurking in the void—each zig and zag a step taken in the name of survival. Jax knew this erratic pathing was more than just movement; it was a shield woven from vectors and velocity, a shield that he hoped would hold until they reached the protective embrace of the Ares Defense Canons. Jax unfurled his stiff limbs with a weary sigh, rising from the captain's chair that had become his makeshift throne. The lumpy cushion protested under the shift of weight, its worn edges telling tales of countless sieges endured in the silence of space. His gaze lingered on the viewport, a window to the celestial waltz played out before him. The dance was not limited to mere physical displacement; it defied traditional confines, embracing the enigmatic folds of the fourth dimension. At one moment a ship would be there, a steadfast bastion amongst its kin, and in the next—a void, an absence that toyed with the fabric of space-time itself. Blinking out of hyperspace for heartbeats only to reappear as though conjured by cosmic magicians, each vessel repositioned within the convoy's protective lattice. "Elusive," Jax muttered under his breath, a word that encapsulated their new reality. The enemy prowled in the shadows between stars, a specter awaiting its moment to strike. He knew the drill all too well: the stealth ship, a phantom lurking unseen, would materialize without warning. Its presence was transient, a fleeting glimmer caught by vigilant eyes before it cast its deadly emissaries into the void and vanished once more. The monotony of vigilance had seeped into Jax's bones, a fatigue no amount of stretching could alleviate. Yet he remained tethered to duty, his senses honed for the slightest sign of aggression. With a practiced scan, he scrutinized the dark expanse beyond the convoy. Even as the Orion AI's guided their choreography of evasion, he knew it was a matter of when—not if—the silent stalker would emerge again. And when it did, his ship and all those around him would erupt into action, a chorus of calls echoing through the vacuum as they marked the assailant for the Orion Attack Ships' wrath. Silence reigned, but it was a tense quietude, the calm before the inevitable storm. Each second stretched, taut with anticipation, until the cycle would repeat—death streaking across the cosmos, heralded by the sudden dance of light and metal, followed by disappearance into the deep black sea. Jax's gaze was unyielding, eyes darting from star to star as his crew's hushed murmurs and shuffling feet became the soundtrack to their collective tension. The Orions' dance had kept them safe for now, but the stealth ship always seemed one step ahead, its missiles a silent promise of destruction that could come at any moment. With each crew member glued to a port window, they awaited the telltale flash that would signal an impending strike. He moved with a heavy purpose towards the view window, the bridge's ambient light reflecting off his weary face. There, he stood inches away from the glass, as if the proximity could somehow peel back the layers of space and reveal their elusive predator. Outside the reinforced barrier lay a tapestry of darkness peppered with celestial bodies; a beautiful, deadly arena for this game of cosmic cat and mouse. Tom reentered the bridge with an air of bemusement, his eyes landing on Star who had reclaimed her vantage point atop a console. "Your cat was right," he announced, shaking his head in disbelief. "There was ice in the tanks, the heater had gone out. I flushed the tanks and got the heater back on." Jax turned from the view window, his gaze settling on the feline whose presence seemed to command more respect than her diminutive size warranted. "Always listen to the Kuiper Cats," he said, a hint of reverence threading through his voice. "They always know." His eyes lingered on Star, whose whiskers twitched as if she were privy to the universe's secrets. "Indeed," Tom muttered, still visibly impressed. He glanced at the control panels now stabilized thanks to their furry engineer. "Seems like she’s got a better read on this ship than we do." Jax nodded, a small smile playing upon his lips as he watched the stars outside twinkle with indifference to their ordeal. Star, in her quiet watchfulness, embodied a sense of wisdom far beyond the scope of human technology. Tom's newfound respect for the ship's feline sentinel lingered in the air as he turned to Jax, his eyes holding a glimmer of fascination. "I've never been on a ship with a Kuiper Cat before," he remarked, a reluctant smile tugging at his lips despite the tension wrapped around them like a shroud. "They are handy." "Handy doesn't begin to cover it," Jax mused quietly, his attention fixed on the panoramic view that offered more than just stars and the infinite dark. He knew Star's presence was more than mere superstition; it was an unspoken solace amidst the unpredictable void. The fragile moment shattered as an Orion Fast-Attack ship burst into view, its sleek form cutting dangerously close, so near that Jax could see the warpaint-like streaks marking its hull. The wing tip, a blade of precision engineering, missed the reinforced glass by mere inches, a silent scream in the vacuum of space. In a flash of purpose, the Orion's chain gun roared to life, vomiting fire and metal in a protective frenzy. It was a desperate bid to shield the Celeste from what was to come—a veil of violent intent cast between them and oblivion. "Brace for impact, incoming missile, get to your escape pods!" Tom's voice boomed through the intercom, the urgency clear in the crack of his palm against the button. His words were a siren call, a directive that pierced the stillness that had fallen over the bridge a heartbeat ago. Jax's muscles tensed instinctively, the reflex of a seasoned captain who knew the fragility of their existence amongst the stars. Yet, there was no flinch, no break in his stoic facade as he stood sentinel by the window, watching the Orion's valiant efforts unfold. Star, ever the enigmatic companion, merely blinked slowly, her tail giving a single, deliberate flick—a gesture that might have been mistaken for calm indifference if one did not know the depth of intuition housed within her sleek frame. The intercom's reverberations still hung in the air like a foreboding echo, an invisible force that sent the crew scrambling. Jax's gaze was locked on the view window, his thoughts racing with the potential consequences of the next few seconds. The familiar hum of the ship's engines now seemed like a distant memory, overshadowed by the urgency of Tom's warning. "Damn it," Jax muttered under his breath, his practical nature overriding any sense of panic. He knew well enough that protocol aboard a vessel such as the Celeste differed vastly from that of a military craft. Here, they had neither the luxury of time nor the infrastructure to withstand a direct hit. His crew—his responsibility—were scattered throughout the ship, huddled in the makeshift sanctuaries within their metallic cocoons of escape pods. "Sound general quarters?" he thought grimly. "No, not for us." Jax watched with a captain's stoicism as the Orion Fast-Attack ship weaved its deadly tapestry of defense. Star, unperturbed by the chaos, settled herself at Jax's feet, her presence a strange comfort amidst the looming threat. And then, the blinding light burst forth, turning the blackness of space into day, and the view window dimmed automatically to shield them from the glare. A nuclear detonation—a bloom of silent fury that could eradicate them in an instant. "Brace, brace, brace!" Tom's voice was resolute, slicing through the tension with the sharpness of a knife. The command resonated with the weight of reality Jax's hand clutched the back of the captain's chair, the lumpy cushion unyielding beneath his grip. Not a warship, no, but a vessel filled with souls braving the void between worlds. Each one relied on his judgment, his orders—even if those orders were just to hold on tight and hope. "Stay with me, Celeste," he whispered, almost lovingly, to the ship that had been his home among the stars. And for a moment, as the light outside faded back to the cold darkness of space, it felt like she listened. The Celeste shuddered as if the universe itself had hiccupped. Jax's heart skipped in tandem, a silent prayer exhaled on a breath he hadn't been aware of holding. The shockwave from the detonation grazed them—a phantom touch that promised destruction but mercifully passed them by. And then, as suddenly as it came, it was gone. "Come on," he murmured, his voice barely audible over the hum of the ship's systems recalibrating. They emerged into real space, the stars outside no longer streaks of light, but distant pinpricks against the velvet backdrop. His eyes searched for familiarity among them, a sign that they were safe, but they blinked out only to be replaced by another set. The Orions' swift intervention had paid off; they had been snatched from the jaws of devastation and repositioned within the convoy's protective embrace. Jax tore his gaze away from the void, the weight of command resettling firmly on his shoulders. He surveyed the bridge with a captain's critical eye, taking in the flashing panels that now lit the room like a dire Christmas display. Red warnings blinked in a rhythmic dance of urgency, each one a potential fault line in the integrity of his ship—his responsibility. "Alright, Celeste," he said, patting the console affectionately, "let's see how you're holding up." He reached for the intercom, pressing the button with a practiced ease born of many long hours spent at the helm. The static crackle was a prelude to his voice, calm despite the adrenaline still coursing through his veins. "We’re still here, thanks to our Orion friends," he announced, letting a hint of gratitude seep into his tone, "but I’ve got whole panels of red warning lights flashing at me. Everyone to damage control." His words carried through the Celeste, reaching ears tuned to his every command. They knew what to do; they were a team, however cobbled together by circumstance and necessity. The Kuiper Belt had forged them in the fires of commerce, but now, under the banner of the Merchant Marines, they had become something more. "Let's not give those Orions any more work than they've already got," he added, a wry smile creeping onto his lips as he released the button. Star, ever-present, watched him with her inscrutable feline eyes, as if assessing his performance—or perhaps simply wondering when her next meal would be served amidst this chaos. "Keep your eyes sharp," Jax spoke to her, knowing full well she didn't need the reminder. But it gave him comfort, speaking to the small creature that had proven more than once that intuition could be just as valuable as technology in the vastness of space. Now, with the ship's heartbeat pulsing in red distress signals, it was time to mend the wounds inflicted by an enemy that lurked unseen. It was time to hold the Celeste together, whatever it took. Star, with a feline grace that defied the tense atmosphere of the bridge, emerged from the shadows of the escape pod. She moved as if every step was choreographed, her tail held high and swaying gently, a silent message to the crew that all was as it should be—or at least, as good as could be expected in the cold vastness they were traversing. Jax watched her for a moment, admiring her calm demeanor amidst the red strobes of warning lights that still flickered sporadically around them. The cat's unflappable nature was a stark contrast to the frayed nerves of the human crew, and he couldn't help but feel reassured by her presence. Star paused to clean a paw, then fixed her gaze on him, her green eyes holding an almost knowing glint. "See? All under control," Jax murmured, though no one was close enough to hear. He turned back to the viewport, his mind already shifting to the journey ahead. Two weeks to Ares—that was all they needed. Two more weeks of evading death's cold embrace, two more weeks until they could breathe freely under the protective shadow of the Defense Canons. Their respite was short-lived. "Missiles incoming! Brace!" The cry shattered the temporary calm, rippling through the Celeste like an electric shock. Jax lunged for the communication panel, his voice urgent, "Evasive maneuvers, now!" The crew responded with the precision that had been drilled into them over countless drills, yet nothing could have prepared them for the sight that unfolded. Three stealth missiles bore down upon the Tempest, a mega-cargo ship that dwarfed their own vessel, a behemoth turned helpless prey. "Those are our people out there," Jax growled, eyes scanning the unfolding chaos. "Prepare to assist!" He piloted the Celeste closer, weaving through debris and dodging shockwaves that threatened to tear them apart. Time seemed to slow, each second stretching out as they maneuvered into position. Airlocks hissed open, and the void of space welcomed the survivors of the Tempest, their lifelines tethered to the slim hope Jax and his crew offered. "Got another one!" A voice crackled over the intercom, relief palpable even through the static. "Keep them coming," Jax replied, his hands steady despite the adrenaline coursing through his veins. One by one, they retrieved the stranded crew members, each rescue a small victory against the relentless tide of war. Once the last of the Tempest’s survivors was aboard, Jax let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Eight more souls saved from the infinite dark, eight more sets of eyes to watch for threats in the blackness beyond. "Settle them in,” he instructed, glancing at the additional faces now part of his responsibility. “Every pair of eyes counts." In their new guests' expressions—gratitude, exhaustion, lingering fear—Jax saw a reflection of his own crew’s determination. They were all soldiers now, united by shared peril and a common goal: survival. "Welcome aboard the Celeste," he said, meeting each of their gazes. "Let's get you to your stations. There's safety in numbers, and we've got watches to keep." As the newcomers dispersed, finding solace in purpose, Star leapt onto the helm station, her tail twitching with what might have been approval. She settled in, eyes on the starscape beyond, a sentinel in her own right. "Two weeks," Jax whispered to both the cat and himself. "Just hold on for two more weeks." Jax's eyelids snapped open as Tom’s urgent voice pierced the stagnant hum of the Celeste's bridge. "Something's happening!" The alert shattered the remnants of a half-dream, yanking Jax back to the harsh reality of their vigil through space. "Report," Jax grunted, muscles tensing as he clawed his way out of the fog of sleep, his instincts as a captain overriding the disorientation. Tom was already at the sensor panel, fingers dancing over the display with practiced urgency. Jax heaved himself up from the captain's chair, its familiar lumps and creaks momentarily forgotten in the face of potential crisis. He strode to the helm station, standing shoulder to shoulder with Tom, eyes fixed on the screen that now held their collective breath. "Look there." Tom pointed to the tactical display where twelve distinct blips were breaking formation from the convoy, rapidly gaining distance. Jax leaned forward, squinting at the accelerating dots. His pulse quickened as realization dawned, the weight of command settling on his frame like a mantle. "It's the Orion Twelve Unit," he confirmed, a touch of awe lacing his words. They were witnessing something extraordinary—the elite AI fleet in action, the pinnacle of human engineering given life and purpose. "They found the Death Ship," he added, the nickname for the elusive enemy vessel that had been haunting them, nipping at the edges of the convoy with deadly persistence. "Get 'em boys," Jax murmured, more prayer than command, his gaze locked onto the screen as if by sheer will he could propel the Orions faster towards their quarry. The crew of the Celeste, now bolstered by the survivors from the Tempest, clustered around whatever viewports or screens they could access, the tension palpable. Even Star, ever the enigmatic observer, perched atop the helm station, her whiskers twitching as she watched the blips with feline intensity. "Let's hope the Orions give 'em hell," Tom whispered beside him, voicing the silent sentiment of every soul aboard the Celeste. The panorama of space before Jax was alive with the silent fury of battle, as laser fire and plasma arcs crisscrossed the void. The Orion Twelve, gargantuan sentinels of mankind, clashed against an adversary that defied all odds, a specter that had haunted them across the stars. These were no nimble fighters darting through dogfights; they were titanic heralds of Earth's might, each maneuver more akin to a planetary shift than aerial acrobatics. "Look at them move," Tom murmured, his voice laden with a mix of dread and admiration. Beside him, Star cocked her head, her feline eyes tracking the distant ballet of light and shadow. Jax's hands clenched the arms of the captain’s chair until his knuckles turned white. The Orion ships were engineered marvels, each one a fortress in its own right, yet the enemy they faced was relentless, elusive—a dark leviathan amongst the celestial waves. "Can't even make out what it is," Jax muttered, squinting into the darkness where the Orions danced their deadly waltz. "But it's giving our best a run for their money." As the night stretched on, fatigue began to etch lines into the faces of the crew, but none could tear themselves away from the spectacle. At times, Star would disappear, only to return moments later, her presence a small comfort to the weary sailors who knew her as much a part of the ship as any bulkhead or conduit. Then, as dawn approached, with the weariness of sleepless nights weighing heavy upon them, a flash unlike any other tore through the cosmos. It was as if a new sun had ignited in the void, casting shadows and light in stark relief against the hulls of the convoy. "Is it...?" Tom started, his voice trailing off into the charged silence that followed the explosion. Jax didn't need to answer; the sight before them said it all. The Orion Twelve were returning, their pace unhurried, wounded by the confrontation. Gashes marred their sleek forms, armor plating scorched and buckled, evidence of a ferocity that belied the cold vacuum around them. "Never thought I'd feel for machines," Jax said quietly, his eyes tracing the battered lines of the returning fleet. The Orions had been faceless protectors, but now he saw them differently—as comrades bearing the scars of shared conflict. "Neither did I," Tom agreed, his gaze following Jax's. "Neither did I." Together, they watched as the remnants of the Orion Twelve rejoined the convoy. Each ship, though damaged, was a testament to the resilience not just of their design, but of the will behind their creation. "Whatever that was, it's gone now," Jax finally said, allowing himself the briefest moment of relief. "Thanks to them." "Thanks to them," Tom echoed. And as the first light of the artificial day began to filter through the view window, there was a sense, however fleeting, that they just might make it to Ares after all. Jax leaned forward, his hands braced against the cool metal of the control panel as he peered through the view window. The sight that met his gaze was one of valor and devastation intertwined. Orion One drifted by, its hull a gaping maw that exposed the intricate latticework of its core—a wound so grievous it seemed a miracle the ship remained intact. "Would you look at that," Jax murmured, awe and respect threading his voice. Beside him, Tom nodded, his expression somber. "Never seen anything like it," Tom replied, eyes fixed on the crippled leviathan. "They're not just machines, are they?" "Far from it," Jax said. The conviction in his voice mirrored the newfound reverence shared among the crew—those who had once doubted the Orions' capacity to match human instinct and courage were silent now. The way Orion Six glided past, asymmetric without its right wing, yet undeterred, spoke louder than any words could. Orion Seven's absence of a bow was a ghostly silhouette against the star field, defying logic in its persistent flight. They were wounded, yes, but their presence was a shield that had held firm against oblivion. Their loyalty wasn't programmed; it was earned, forged in the crucible of combat. Days later, as routine began to reassert itself aboard the Celeste, whispers crept along the corridors—a different timbre to the usual chatter. Jax overheard pieces, fragments of a tale that grew with each retelling. "Did you hear about the kitten?" one of the Tempest's rescued crew asked, her eyes wide with wonder. "Silver fur, wasn't it? Aboard Orion Four," another confirmed, nodding. "They say it found the enemy, directed the killing shot." "Impossible," scoffed a third, only to be shushed by the others. "Is that true?" Tom approached Jax later, his curiosity piqued. "Rumors," Jax responded, though his glance flickered to where Star lounged, her green eyes half-closed in contentment. "But after what we've seen, who's to say what's possible?" The silence of the bridge was a palpable thing, filled with the soft hum of systems and the distant thrum of engines. Jax's fingers danced over the control panel, his eyes flicking between the readouts and the vast expanse of stars displayed on the screen before him. It had been days since the skirmish, but the shadow of it still lingered in the corners of the ship. He barely noticed the soft chime that signaled an incoming transmission until it repeated, insistent. With a practiced motion, he tapped the console, bringing up the communication channel. "Attention all ships," came the synthesized voice of Orion Command, its tone imbued with a formality that instantly drew Jax to listen closer. "We have an announcement concerning the silver Kuiper kitten aboard Orion Four." Jax leaned forward, anticipation tightening in his chest. He could see Tom pause in his routine checks, turning towards the main speaker, his expression mirroring the captain's curiosity. "Her actions during our recent engagement have not gone unnoticed," continued the voice, a thread of pride weaving through the digital cadence. "She has demonstrated intelligence and bravery beyond expectation. Therefore, after careful consideration, we have chosen a name fitting her valor." A hushed silence fell across the Celeste's bridge as every soul aboard strained to hear. "From this moment forth, she will be known as Athena, the Goddess of War." A smile tugged at the corner of Jax's lips as he exchanged a glance with Tom, who let out a low whistle. "Seems fitting," Tom remarked, his eyes sparkling with a mix of respect and amusement. "It does," Jax agreed, thinking of their own Kuiper Cat, Star, whose instincts had saved them more than once. "They're more than just pets or mascots; they're part of the crew." "Part of the war effort, you mean," Tom corrected gently, with a nod toward the speaker. "Right," Jax conceded, his gaze drifting back to the starscape. "Athena, Goddess of War." The name hung in the air, a testament to the untold potential residing in their feline companions. "May she guide us safely to Ares," Jax whispered to himself, not a prayer but a promise to heed the wisdom of these creatures—a newfound respect solidifying in his heart for the small, silver guardian aboard Orion Four and all her kind.

Comments (5)


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eekdog

10:50AM | Tue, 12 November 2024

spectacular work as always Wolfen.

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starship64 Online Now!

1:32AM | Wed, 13 November 2024

Nicely done.

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anahata.c

3:37AM | Thu, 14 November 2024

well it's been a lonnnnng time between online visits, so here comes another of my unbearably long comments---on another of your scintillating, human, opulent and action packed tales, including a great final tribute to------cats! (Ta-da! A feline gets its recognition amongst the stars...) My apologies to your other fans...they can take heart in the fact that i haven't been here for months, so this doesn't happen very often...

First, your openings (all) fall into our laps like an opulent silk throw-shawl; they're opulent, sensual, musical and very inviting. I chose two at random: "Aurora's avatar shimmered into existence within the confines of her digital realm, the light from her core casting an ethereal glow on the phantom space around her..." (Me:) You got A-urora/A-vatar, C-ore/Casting, etc, (alliteration etc), and the general lushness you get in these openings. Lushly luring us in......Or "Colonel Sarten's boots echoed as he strode into the cavernous chamber, a cathedral of technology dedicated to housing Orion Prime..." (Me again:) All the "K" sounds (echoed/cavernous/cathedral/teCHnology...even dediCated, and so on). Here's the opening of this piece---"Jax's fingers pressed into the lumpy cushion of the captain's chair, feeling the uneven stuffing beneath the weathered leather"---there's poetry in that, sir! It flows like a full river, and you got more of the "K"s: Cushion/Captain. And then "weathered leather". But then, more importantly, that paragraph sets the tone for Jax throughout---that, even though this isn't his native spot, it's gonna become home by the end. (And it does.) Love the lumpy seat part too---those descriptions humanize the ship and its technology..."more musuem piece" etc...you made the chair a character from the get-go...

Then the intrusion of the others (for a soldier who's used to working alone). And the lone wolf's dreams---he yearns for freedom in the cosmos beyond. You set everything up: He's a maverick, a bit sly, a bit uncomfortable, but he's loyal as a rock. Lotta character in the opening passages.

Then, the intro of Star---the cat!---we're not sure how big or what she is, but you reveal that quickly, and she lives up to her reputation throughout. (Written by a true cat lover---it really shows.) And perfect for a cat: If it were a dog, he'd be scampering and barking for treats while the ship fights for its life. You chose the right ancient animal. (Like a calico, she's steeped in mystery and wisdom...)

"The monotony of vigilance had seeped into Jax's bones, a fatigue no amount of stretching could alleviate..." you establish that Jax isn't thrilled, but he's loyal: He's yet another conflicted "unwilling hero," like the cynical but brave detectives of the Hardboiled Detective fiction of the 40's (ie, Dashiell Hammet, Raymond Chandler etc). And the name Jax is perfect too---like the playing card: a normal guy, a normal soldier who's loyal to the queen and king, but can do tricks too...)

Then the next part of your tale is waiting for the attack. You prepare us for something catastrophic while life goes on as usual. You've done this very well throughout all your works...the lull before the storm...

"a beautiful, deadly arena for this game of cosmic cat and mouse"---man,, your prose gets more and more poetic as it goes...great descriptions of the beauty surrounding Jax et al, as death advances unseen...

then more of Star's stabilizing presence---she even stabilized the control panels! (Is she for hire?) Like the beauty of the universe in your tales, she's a comfort and beauty in the anticipation of death...

the Orion entrance---"a silent scream in the vacuum of space" Man that's good writing---very descriptive of the near side-swipe---and terrifying

"metallic cocoons of escape pods" --- more alliteration (CoCoons/esCape...even the "P"s in escaPe and Pods..) it's a perfect description of how a functional unit becomes a holy chapel during combat. A family friend spoke of the tank (in WWII) feeling like a holy protected sanctuary, even as the bombs blasted above (and he knew he could be hit at any time)...

Your use of alliteration has become wholly imbedded and natural over the years. And even if you do it intuitively (rather than consciously), it doesn't matter because I have no doubt that it's intentional way down inside of you. You've got little servants in the recesses of your mind who do nothing but prepare alliterations for you: So you pop in, they rush to their catalogs, grab another, and Presto! You got an alliteration.

More quotes: "taking in the flashing panels that now lit the room like a dire Christmas display..." Throughout your tales, you've often combined beauty with dread which is fitting for the soldier's life in battle. One soldier I knew (also from WWII) said that, even in the dread of air attacks, there were moments when he felt awe at the light displays before him...You've captured that sense many times in your many years of writings...Plus you describe the rhythmic dance of urgency: You use "dance" as a strong metaphor in this tale...

Then more Star (yes!), showing her innate calm and wisdom in the midst of it all, her tail communicating calm-in-chaos...(This is a helluva cat: do you breed them?)

Then, "each rescue a small victory against the relentless tide of war"...I don't need to add anything to that (and hey, I'm writing this 3 days after veterans day, so bows to you and rod and others...I never did anything for it in my gallery for which i'm sorry)

then the Orion Twelve Unit---and btw, your descriptions of the orion defensive shield is very keen---you've integrated this Twelve Unit sweetly into the tale, moving like ballet while the enemy is invisible much of the tale---this is all very well written. Including describing the enemy as "a dark leviathan amongst the celestial waves" (voila), where I assume "celestial" has the 2 meanings (the stars and the ship)...

(I'm almost finished...you're allowed to take a break...)

The climax is extended through all kinds of chaos and control, w/ human moments peppered in: a trait which goes back through your years of writings---and the emergence of dawn as the fleet becomes fully visible at last...

and --- another thing you do so well in your tales --- the aftermath: Ie, you give us the desired peace at the end of a cataclysm: "The silence of the bridge was a palpable thing, filled with the soft hum of systems and the distant thrum of engines..." (In addition to "hum" and "thrum"---rhyme---there's the slow dawning of so-desired peace.) And you end with your wonderful tribute to felines. (I also like the intro of the surivors...another human touch in the midst of battle.)

Another beautifully writen tale, bob; and I've seen how you've grooved into one-piece tales for a while, and you handle them as well as you do the larger forms. A real pleasure to comment once more...and thank you for your wonderful comments...I can see why you created a fantasy about me being a 'cat'---loved it. (Though me as "grandpa sleeping"? Thanks for making me feel older! I'm 75 but, I look a young 68...) Wonderful work, Bob. I'm sorry I'm here so little, but as you can see from this comment, if I were here more often, you'd have to beg someone to shut me up. I'll post this so others can have a shot. A wonderful tale, as always. Beautiful prose...

)

jendellas

8:25AM | Sun, 17 November 2024

The above made me chuckle at the end :o))) Great one again.

)

RodS Online Now!

4:53PM | Sun, 17 November 2024

I am sitting here, my mouth agape, wondering how the hell do I follow Mark's comment? LOL Mercy....

Seriously you two guys should combine forces - it would outdo Lord Of The Rings, Star Wars, and Star Trek, all put together!

I'm seriously studying both of your magnificent artworks painted with mastery of wordsmithing that create stunning images in our minds. It's incredible. Seriously. Your stories are so engaging, Mr. Wolf! Keep 'em coming!


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