My Poem by hpzworkz
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Description
i wrote the poem like ... last year and was thinking of adding some visual touch to it,
i hope it justifies the poem
Comments (7)
JC_73
the falling leaves - darkness, isolation, silence and death: all in this winter of feelings
TheVelvetFoxx
Beautiful. I love the single falling leaf as well as the colors. Nice job Hassan!
SophiaDeer
Beautiful work and poem! A lot of feeling went into this one! Bravo!!
che18530
Excellent work on the visual imagery and the poem Hassan. I love the colors and relationship to the leaves, darkness, etc.. It all fits very well. I would only make two changes in your poem and they are to help the flow. Take out the "I was" in "I was standing in the midst of darkness" and just start it with "Standing". The other one is a similar change with taking out "I am" in the line "I am standing there facing isolation" and just starting it with "Standing there facing isolation". The "I" person is already implied in the structure of your poem and the sentence, so you do not need to write it. Again! Excellent overall composition.
Trance
A beautiful poem and image in the style of the great persian poet Rumi, one of my favorites..marvelous works..you have outstanding talent and can work magic with your words..I would not change one sentance be yourself and use your own best judgment!! This is completely perfect..Writing styles differ in countries other then the USA, I myself write Haiku which Im sure you are familiar with..good work Hassan..I will look for more..
Sparr
Well, since you wanted me to comment, here goes. I dont think they poem is too great(the exclamation marks ruin the feel of it, as though you were excited, and you misspelled 'death' when Isolation speaks to you) But uh, other than that, good going, I guess.
mlevans
I like the picture very much. I'm not sure what kind of judge I am of poetry, but at least I have sufficient vocabulary to know that there is indeed a word "dearth" meaning "lack or absence of", and I think that "absence of humanity" or "lack of humanity" fits that line very well. And what's a couple of exclamation points among friends. Keep it up, Hassan.