Shan gingerly peeled off his night clothes, the fabric sticking to his damp skin. He’d feigned sleep until Zan left, but rest had eluded him. His body felt like it was on fire, the heat prickling just beneath the surface. Desperately, he sponged water over him-self, hoping for relief. The cool liquid eased the sensation, but only barely. It was like try-ing to douse a wildfire with a single bucket of water. His eyes flicked toward his discard-ed clothes, wondering if soaking them might help, but he dismissed the thought. No one knew about his condition, and he intended to keep it that way. If only it would rain, he thought. The cool downpour might offer temporary relief until he could find the chance to bathe properly.
He continued to sponge his body, each swipe of the cloth soothing but insuffi-cient. A sharp knock at the door startled him.
"Lady Loka asks for you in the healing rooms," came the voice of a page from the other side.
Shan sighed, the sound escaping him like the steam rising from his overheated skin. "Okay, thanks," he called back, resigned.
Carefully, he dressed in his lightest, loosest civilian clothes, every movement caus-ing the fabric to irritate his already tender skin. He felt vulnerable and exposed like the weight of his secret was pressing down on him as he made his way to Loka.
“You asked to see me?” He asked when he entered the healing room, his voice tight with the effort to remain casual.
Loka, ever serene and unreadable, nodded. “Yes. I told your captain it was a fol-low-up to our last session. You’re drying up.”
Shan frowned. “What do you mean, drying up?”
She leveled a calm gaze at him. “I’m not some weak healer who only sees what she wants. I read everything. Your condition is progressing, and waiting this long isn’t healthy.”
“I’ve been busy,” Shan deflected, shifting uncomfortably under her scrutiny.
“This is a medical condition. They should give you time.”
“They don’t know about it,” Shan admitted, his voice dropping.
Loka tilted her head, curiosity piqued. “Why not?”
His jaw clenched, a bitter laugh bubbling up. “Tell them what? That I’m some misbegotten freak who shouldn’t have been born in the first place?”
She chuckled softly, not unkindly. “Misbegotten freak? I’ve heard that one be-fore. You’re no more a freak than they were.” She gestured toward a large tub filled with water, steam rising from its surface. “Now, get in.”
The tub looked beyond inviting, but Shan hesitated. “Turn around,” he said quiet-ly. His voice was firm, but there was an edge of embarrassment he couldn't quite sup-press.
Loka smirked but complied, turning her back to him. “Nothing I haven’t seen be-fore,” she teased lightly.
“And how many other mer-rocs have you seen before?” Shan asked as he stripped down, his tone edging toward defensive.
“Aside from you? Two. Sisters.”
“So no one exactly like me then,” he muttered under his breath as he stepped into the tub, letting the water envelop him.
The instant his skin touched the seawater, relief flooded through him. He slipped beneath the surface, eyes closing, the cool liquid embracing his overheated body. The world became muted—sounds, smells, and even light dulled as he submerged himself. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. This was the closest he ever felt to peace.
“How did you get seawater here?” he asked, his voice drowsy with contentment. They were far from the coast.
Loka chuckled, her voice distant and muffled through the water. “I’m an immor-tal, Shan. I transported the tub into the sea and brought it back full.”
“Thank you,” he murmured, letting the saltwater cool his skin. It was the only thing that worked, and seawater was always best. He wondered, not for the first time, what it would be like to live beneath the waves, far away from the heat, from the confu-sion of his mixed heritage.
“When was the last time you changed?” Loka’s voice broke through his thoughts.
Shan opened one eye lazily, still half-submerged. “Changed? What are you talking about?”
“When was the last time you took roc form? Or merfolk form?”
His eyes snapped fully open, and he sat up in the tub, covering himself as best as possible. “Loka!”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re as modest as the humans.” She tossed a washcloth at him. “Here. Now answer the question.”
He draped the cloth over himself and sighed. “I don’t change. I can’t change. I’m a half-breed.”
Loka arched an eyebrow. “Half-breed or not, you still have the abilities. The oth-ers I’ve known shifted frequently.”
Shan shook his head. “Not me. I’m just a human who can breathe underwater and needs constant baths.”
Loka laughed, a short sound of disbelief. “You’re so much more than that, Shan. You’re a mage, for one thing. And you can not only breathe underwater—salt doesn’t sting your eyes, cold doesn’t bother you, and you can hear things most people can’t. You can fly, and you’re telepathic.”
He blinked. “I can’t do any of that. The others might have been like that, but I’m not.”
“You’re talking to me while you’re under the water,” she pointed out dryly. “And Zan said he can’t be quiet enough for you. ”
Loka’s expression softened. “Your parents didn’t teach you any of this?”
He scoffed. “What parents? They were just people who slept together and created a freak. Neither wanted me. They didn’t even love each other They just wanted to have sex. I’m lucky my mother took me to a home and didn’t just leave me to die,”
Loka raised an eyebrow. “You never met your parents?”
“I don’t even know their names. My mother was a mermaid. My father was a roc. That’s all I know.”
Loka’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Immortal families aren’t close either.”
But would you abandon your kid?” Shan challenged.
Loka scoffed. “Kid? I’ll never have a kid. I can’t stand being touched.”
“You don’t like being touched?” Shan asked.
“I constantly read people. It’s horrible. It’s even worse in Ertonia where people live for thousands of years.” Loka shuttered.
“What about unreadables?” Shan ventured.
“There are no immortal unreadables. It’s a mortal trait. And they’re rare. The few I’ve met aren’t ones I’d want to touch, not in a way that would get me pregnant,” Loka explained.
“Something else we have in common,” Shan muttered.
“You’ve never been with a woman? No wonder you’re so shy.” A small smile played at the corners of her mouth.
“I’m a freak. I have gills, no hair in places most men have hair, talons instead of feet,” Shan pointed.
“The talons you get from your father. The gills and lack of hair are from your mother.” She glanced at each area as she mentioned it.
“Would you stop?” He covered the washcloth with his hands.
She chuckled, “Nothing to be ashamed about, but I’ll let you be. On your day off, come here and use the tub. I’ll give you some privacy, and we’ll look into getting you some help to control your abilities.”
“The other mer-rocs?” Shan guessed.
“No, they died centuries ago. But I have a friend who specializes in the unique if don’t mind her looking at you like a lab experiment, she should be able to help. You look exhausted. Get some rest.” Loka covered the tub with a blanket, letting the steam cocoon Shan as he closed his eyes. The quiet darkness settled around him, and soon enough, he drifted off into sleep, finally free from the burn.
#fantasy, #magic, #dragons,
#hiddenlands
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